So, this week’s theme is conversion. Of any kind. Something I have to try to do in my head every weekend. The numbers just don’t mean as much to me up there. 22 degrees? That’s freaking cold, right? No! It’s quite nice, actually. Phooey. Anyway, the theme is conversion.
By the way, excellent job last week everyone.
Foreign Fuel
“99 cents? But.. that’s not gallons. That’s like… millieeters or something.”
“Per liter.”
“But what does that mean?”
“99 cents per liter… there are about 4.5 liters per.. carry the one…. it’s about 2 bucks more.”
“Two dollars? American or Canadian?”
“Oh, let’s just walk.”
Welcome to OnlineConversion.com. Convert anything to anything else.
Select GenderÖMale
Select WeightÖMedium
Select HairÖBald
Select EyesÖTwo
Select HeightÖMedium
Select Sex Appeal: Extremely, Very High
Please re-enterÖSex Appeal: Very High
Please re-enterÖSex Appeal: High
Please re-enterÖSex Appeal: Average
Convert to:
Select: George Clooney
Equals: Not many mate, have you tried Viagra?
ps. nice background, Respect.
The awkward silence was gut wrenching. My wife and her parents refused to look at me. After twenty minutes of eating in silence, I worked up the courage to interject, “The good news is that if my hands can fit inside of her, she shouldn’t have any problems having children.”
thanks perry… i’m not quite satisfied with it, but i was running late, as it’s already the 6th of october – breast cancer awareness month. the pink is soothing, tho. i like that. anyway, i decided to let it go, as i am already working on a theme for the end of the month. 🙂
“Praise the Lord, Sister! We’ve been praying for you for quite some time.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course, you’ll have to be baptized by immersion…”
“Why would I need to be re-baptized?”
“Were you fully submerged?”
“In Catholicism?”
“In water.”
“Well, no.”
“Then you weren’t baptized.”
“Huh. I had no idea.”
“I just don’t understand…. This has never happened to me before. Honestly? I’m really, really upset! You don’t know what it’s like to experience this! I have ALWAYS been an A student, all my life!”
Well, I’m sorry you’re upset. But this is a 65% as measured by university standards.
“how many ounces are there in one cup?”
“i dont know. let me google it.”
“wait. i have a book with all that information.”
“you have a book?”
he opens the cabinet door and takes it out.
he hums while his fingers leaf through the pages.
eight!!! he announced triumphantly.
The mechanic laughing, places the distraught caller on speaker phone for the shop’s benefit.
“But I heard on NPR that I could use used vegetable oil instead of gas.”
“Sir, did you convert your car’s fuel system over?”, snickered the mechanic.
“Conversion??? Hum … must have missed that piece of information.”