faster pussycat... type! type!

hey, remember that email i got from burton, telling me to remove all rings from my middle finger? well, i got another brilliant email from him, that i must share with you.
Hi Jodi,
Occasionally we like to send fun and useful tips to the California Astrology Association's clients. Here are a few lesser-known beliefs that you may find interesting:

• If a bachelor or maid is placed between a married couple at supper, he or she will be married within a year. [[a maid? he must be talking housekeepers because i KNOW no one would be stupid enough to call an adult, unmarried woman a MAID.]]
  
• When a newly married couple first enters their new home, the one who gets the left foot over the doorstep first will rule the show.
  
• Rubbing against a newly married couple is said to be infectious. [[isn't that a real live fetish, with a name and everything? rubbing up against people?
  
• Seeing two crows in the morning will be bring surprises in the afternoon.[[my life should be a surprise party, then. because there are some damn obnoxious crows that live outside my window. i hate birds.]]
  
• Rocking an empty cradle will speed a baby into it. [[that, and unprotected sex]]
  
• Sitting next to an empty chair means another person is seeking you out.
  
• Snuffing out a candle within a minute of its being lit arouses sensual desires.
  
• Thinking of a couple while knocking over an empty bucket causes them to rethink their commitment.
  
• Putting your hand over your mouth while yawning keeps the Devil from getting in. [[bugs, as well.]]
  
• It is considered unlucky to give an umbrella as a gift.
  
• A guest who repeatedly refolds his napkin means your home will be blessed during the coming month.
  

how incredibly useful is that? i bet this is even more helpful than the whole ring thing. which never made a difference, by the way. my rings are back on my middle finger.