faster pussycat... type! type!

whooo-hooo! i broke 15,000. i wrote 2,252 words today. i think. 2 thousand two hundred and something. i'm at 15,037. trucking along. of course, there are reasons i was able to spend more time writing today. but we'll get to those in a minute.

as you can see, i changed the color scheme a little. it's more fall/winter, don't you think? also, i colored my hair, so i thought it was appropriate that the swing babe go red as well.

so, you wanna know why i'm stuck home today? i don't know if i want to tell you. i'm not proud of myself. i went downstairs this morning to find my car gone. and no, "stolen" was not the first word i thought of. i knew what had happened. i was still shocked. i've hit a new bottom, in terms of financial screw ups. this has never happened to me. i've never had my car repossessed. i don't even know anyone who's had their car repossessed! i knew i was behind. but i didn't know i was that far behind. the thing is, it's all my fault. and some of it is really stupid, because i had money for part of the bill i owed! i just kept forgetting to send it! that makes it even worse. i'm such an idiot.

i felt pretty crappy this morning. but then, i sort of felt relieved as well. which may seem odd. but if this had happened to me last year, i wouldn't have handled it as well. i would have turned around and gone back to bed and not dealt with it. i would have stayed in bed for a couple of days, forcing myself to sleep because life was too overwhelming to deal with. my depression was at it's worst this time last year. but today, even though i feel like i complete loser, i got on the phone and called the bank. and then i called the repo people. i can't do anything until tomorrow morning, so i spent most of the morning punishing myself. i made an appt. to talk with a financial councilor and deal with my debt. i downloaded and installed quicken, and put my checking account into it. and i did two loads of laundry. i explained to pru how her mommy is a "deadbeat" and a "financial risk." but she wasn't impressed. so eventually i got bored with it and started to work on the color scheme. and then i wrote.

so, it may not seem all that great, but it's a huge relief to me, to see that i didn't completely curl up in defeat. not exactly worth getting the car repossessed tho.