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Anyway, I just wanted to call and tell you it's a great day to be me, mostly because I'm not you

hello dear internet friends. today, while i drink my chai tea at cafe ladro, i will share with you my recipe for a great day off. [i took yesterday off]

first, make sure its raining torrents of rain. this is important, because you are going to have a lot of driving to do, all over town, and you are going to want traffic to slow down to a crawl. make many many appointments, spanning the entire day. this is where the rain comes in, to interfere with the delicate dance that is your schedule for the day.

your first appointment is going to set the tone for the day, so do the most depressing and humbling task first. might i suggest meeting with a lawyer to discuss filing bankruptcy? if possible, pick chapter 13 bankruptcy. in a chapter 13, not all of your debt is wiped away. they go over your budget, and all the money you owe, and decide how much you can apply to your debts. they can force banks to give you a fair market interest rate on your car loan, if you don’t have one. they can fix it so the IRS will not charge you any more fees or penalties. they can lower the interest rate on everything, and wipe out some kinds of debts. however, what they will also do is take HUGE chunks of your paychecks, to apply to the debts they believe you could pay. this continues on for a fix period of time, let us just say, hypothetically, 4 and a half years. they will leave you NO extra money for savings, saving is not an option. neither is fun. or luxury of any kind.

wait, did i mention that the lawyer should be located as far away as feasible, while still staying within your county? look for a lawyer in bum fuck egypt. miss your next appointment due to the length of the appointment with the lawyer. barely make the appointment after that.

go home for 40 minutes and fall on your bed. contemplate your total life suckage. figure out how old you will be when the bankruptcy is over. instantly start feeling your age. go ahead and get a splitting headache. you deserve it!

go to your third and final appointment with your general physician. make it for a check up. make sure it includes a pap smear. because without it, you will not suffer enough humiliation to truly make this the most special day off ever.

if you do it right, the above can take you pretty much the entire day. enjoy!!

Posted by jodi on 15 janvier 2004 20h10 |

Comments

Comments closed on older entries, whenever I get around to it, to avoid spam.

boy, do you know how to have fun or what?! sorry to read you had such a sucky day.

Posted by: loon | 16 janvier 2004 6h30

awww =( what a waste of a day off. that's pooey.

Posted by: arifa | 16 janvier 2004 10h03

i am starting to look at the positive aspects of the chapter 13. a: i'll be completely debt free in 4.5 years. b: the irs will not be able to charge me fees or penalties, and the interest rate will go down. c: we can force b of a to give me a fair market interest rate on my car loan and sticking it to b of a is fun and d: i can share my shame and humilation with others, via the blog. lucky you guys.

Posted by: jodi | 16 janvier 2004 18h50