I got rid of my teeth at a young age because... I'm straight. Teeth are for gay people. That's why fairies come and get them.
What follows is a completely accurate, and 100% true, account of the conversation that took place between Louise and myself last night, during the credits of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban at the IMAX Theatre.
Louise: One thing I've always liked about British films is that they use normal looking people. Unlike American films, which always feature very beautiful people. Very unrealistic. Like in this movie, it was full of average looking kids. Normal, ugly kids.
Jodi: In Harry Potter? Ah... I see. And who do you think cast the Harry Potter films originally? Hmmmm?
Louise: I don't know.
Jodi: Christopher Columbus! That's who! Chris Columbus, an AMERICAN director.
Louise: No he didn't!
Jodi: Yes he did!
Louise: He didn't direct this movie, that other guy did.
Jodi: But he directed the first two, and he was there for the original casting of the film.
Louise: no, I'm talking about all the extra kids. In the background. They weren't there before.
Jodi: They had extra kids before, but alright. Who do you think cast the extra ugly kids in this version? Hmmm? A MEXICAN director!! Mexico being very close to America.
Louise: No, he's far too busy to cast all the extra people. The background people.
Jodi: He had final approval.
Louise: But he didn't do it himself. They have local casting agents. And I bet they are all British kids.
Jodi: Well they have to be, don't they? Thems the rules for these movies.
Louise: So, you see, it's British casting agents casting ugly, gritty British kids for the background.
Jodi: I wouldn't think they had any other types of British kids to pick from.
Louise: Oh yes, with our lack of orthodontia and such.
Jodi: However, it's fairly obvious, based on this movie, your kids cannot cry on queue.
Louise: It would seem so.
Jodi: America kids are pretty and can cry on queue. We're born crying.