Now, to unleash screaming temporal doom!
Basically, I'm pretty comfortable living alone. I've done it for a long time now. I'm good at it. A little spoiled with it, in fact. But there are times when it would be nice to have another human being in the house. That's usually when you wake up from a nightmare. And your house, which is normally a comforting quiet and dark at night, all the sudden has strange noises that concern you. Noises that sound vaguely boogiemanish. Noises a serial rapist clown would make, if he were breaking into your home with his giant clown shoes and red rubber nose. At times like these, you do the best you can. If the cat is sleeping on the bed with you, you pat her and let her know it's ok, clowns aren't really that scary. If the cat is not sleeping with you, you call out to her repeatedly until she hops up on the bed and lies down on you. And purrs. And then, of course, you pull the comforters over your head and repeat the protective mantra "go back to sleep go back to sleep go back to sleep!"
But last night was a doozie... I woke up screaming. I can't remember ever doing that. Waking up with a yell or a shout, yes. But waking up screaming? No. And I can't even remember what happened in the dream, because so many weird dreams came after that one. Including the one where I come to work in my white, terry cloth spa robe. The one I like to wear after taking a shower. Not as bad as coming to work naked, of course, but people do still look at you oddly. Anyway, in case you've never woken up screaming before, let me clue you in, it's very unsettling. And the cat has no interesting in comforting you because you've scared the crap out of her. Pulling your covers over your head is not enough. Your normal mantra won't work. Instead you have to sing "This Little Light of Mine... I'm Going to Let it Shine," over and over. And you hear yourself ask the question you've never dared ask yourself before, "why didn't I marry a NRA card carrying professional wrestler when my momma told me to?"
Speaking of scary, you should go see what happens at Marie's house when she shoves a can of beer up a chicken's butt and serves it for dinner. Tasty! No, seriously. It looks yummy.
Comments
Comments closed on older entries, whenever I get around to it, to avoid spam.Sorry you had nightmares Jodi. I've found I really don't dream or have nightmares much. Or, if you believe the nocturnal investigators, then I just don't remember them much. Did you watch a particularly disturbing movie by chance???
Oh, and I guess we should make it official. My name is Brett!
Posted by: Brett - Formerly "Joe for now..." | 2 mai 2005 14h46
Sounds like a situation in which you grab the phone, franticly call your best friend (or whoever happens to answers the phone when you randomly hit the buttons), and start begging them to speak reassuringly into the little speaker. Or, do what I do. Turn on ALL the freaking lights on in the house and watch the weather channel.
Posted by: DrinkJack
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2 mai 2005 15h07
i do the 'cat thing' too. the last time i had a really bad nightmare i ended up calling a friend and waking the poor gal up.
Posted by: river selkie
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2 mai 2005 15h57
you know, I'm not sure i would ever call someone, unless i called the police. I'm too polite. [no, seriously, i am... sometimes] i tried to pass gall stones for over a year because i didn't want to wake my roommates up to take me to the hospital. [the attacks only happened at night. about a couple of dozen all together. i thought it was stress]
let's see, before i went to bed i watched... the last of DVD #3 of Freaks and Geeks. and Thursday night's Daily Show, with the author of Freakonomics, which sounded interesting. And Saturday's Justice League Unlimited. Even tho I had already seen that episode; it was one with the Flash and I love Flash. Nothing that scary.
Posted by: Jodi
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2 mai 2005 16h15
oh, and jack.. I specifically pointed out the beer can up the but chicken recipe link for you, because I know how you like to try the new recipes. :)
Posted by: Jodi
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2 mai 2005 16h16
Are you still up Jodi???
Posted by: Brett! | 2 mai 2005 18h48
PS - Living alone is a gift, I think. Some men sweat the issue of wanting children/sons. And, some women regret/lament the possibility of not having children. But if a person lets go of peer and social pressure and just lets themselves be who they are, often solitude and aloneness is very satisfying. I did the married thing, and now I live alone, and while I don't think marriage is wrong for some, I certainly think it's not right for all. Anyway, thoughts for the night...
Posted by: Brett! | 2 mai 2005 19h10
yes, i am still up. and i agree with you about the living alone part. some people just don't like or can't do it. it doesn't suit everyone. there is a part of me that needs to be very independent, which is probably why i like it.
Posted by: jodi | 2 mai 2005 20h10
I figured my way off the rock; the secret of west coast living has finally shown itself. A year has past, since I have moved here, and oddly these days mark the end of my thirty-second year alive. I find I like struggle less, serenity more, and alcohol and drugs the same. The mornings find me on Vancouver streets before dawn, this city, can provide for all; it’s a strange paradise. But it is when she is empty I love her most. The dark streets are wide and spacious and the emptied storefronts sit like polished promises yet to be made. There is the clean smell of the night rain, and the chill of the spring breeze. An illusion trapped in the amber of the street lamps.
Posted by: William | 2 mai 2005 20h44
Good night...
Posted by: Brett! | 2 mai 2005 22h17