faster pussycat... type! type!

I got a phone call from the lord…. He was at his wits ends, understandable…. Okay Jesus doesn’t talk to me; I don’t have a land line. And the silver tin foil on my head is call waiting. Let that Bastard leave a message.

hahahhahha!

Kicked in the teeth again

A sad title for these optimistic words. But what can you do now. it’s far to late to turn back now. Fuck man, we have a title, and we should be balls deep into explaining the point of this lecture. There must be more to the world than loud rock music and beer. The weed has worn off, but that is the shitty swaggish weed that keeps moving past my door. Don’t these scum suckers realize im not some fucking ass headed American. I know what it is like to be stoned.

The drug dealers around here should go back to Seattle. You need to get your head out of the collective American ass. And stop bring that shit here…. Man you should be allowed to burn down the home of the Drug dealer that burnt you. I can take shitty LSD, and Cocaine, but I can not suffer shitty weed. With the other drugs you expect to get worked. I never think the coke I buy will get me high. And I haven’t even bothered with LSD in so many years, well, I guess you expect weed will be different. There should be some kind of community to this weed. There is a heritage to this bullshit, apparently. I need a VW van, and some shaggy-doo type facial hair. That will never do, I have a cat not a dog, and I don’t drive, and I shave…. Fuck, this will never do.

Now what, I have more weed, and more beer. And my cat Mo-mo likes, or seems to like the album I ‘ve just put on… good. She is the end and beginning of my day. She sleeps with me, and sits on my monitor with her eyes looking back at me. The same look, but I love her for it. Has anyone seen the iguana? Never suffer those that would rather refuse to suffer you first!

“Color me lavender!” said Ernie.
They had just watched“The Birdcage,” which was slightly lame, but whatever. Time for dinner.
“Honey, would you like a PB and J?”
“Color me hungry,” said a deeper voice.
“Actually, you’re yellow!” Ernie said.
Bert rolled his eyes and grabbed his sandwich and a beer.

Mary Sue had been staring at a blank screen for hours and still didn't know what to write. It was beginning to appear that inspiration wouldn't be striking any time soon. Until then though, Mary Sue was determined to stare at the blank page, that taunting White Screen of Death.

yay! color themed 50 word fiction. extra special rainbow sprinkled bonus points for all of you.

Two rocks sat patiently at the base of a blue-green glacier.

The left rock whispered, "Did you see that?"

The right rock answered, "See what?"

The left rock, now frightened, "That glacier moved!"

The right rock sneared, "Yah, Riiiight!"

The left rock, sighed. "I have a bad feeling about this..."

ernie was orange, bert was yellow, and yes people, they were gay!

After the softball struck her in the temple, she was able to taste colors. Simply licking an object would tell her, in exacting detail, the hue, saturation and intensity. This gift, combined with her job as the quality control inspector at the lead paint plant, brought about her untimely demise.