faster pussycat... type! type!

Last week, I went into my am/pm for my usual 44 ounces of Dr. Pepper. I noticed that Loud Happy Edgar #14 had a small animal carrier behind the counter.
"What's in the carrier?" asked I.
"AAIIYYY .....I SHOW YOU!"
She opened up the hatch to show me four tiny baby birds, not old enough to be on their own. But I knew what they were, because this was not the first time she had done this.
"Baby finches?"
"YES! THEIR MOMMA DIED." She made the appropriate sad face, to show her sorrow. 'BUT!! THEY ARE SO GOOD! TODAY, THEY DO THE WINGS!!" And she bent her arms and flapped her elbows, like stubby baby bird wings.
"Did you show them how to do that? You did, didn't you?"
"OOOHHH .... MAYBE!" And she laughed.

One morning, I could not sleep, so I decided to go into work at 6am. I drove to my am/pm, only to find that it did not open until 6. I didn't know you could have an am/pm that was not open 24/7! The horror. So I went down the street to a newly opened Chevron Em Stop thingy. I had checked them out previously, and knew they had what I needed. He who shall be known as Chatting Geek Edgar #17, looked at my shirt.
"You're what? You're doing what?"
"I'm blogging this."
"Blogging... huh... I don't what that means."
"Really? That surprises me."
"Do you have a card? A punch card?"
"What is this punch card of which you speak?"
"Buy four and get the fifth drink free."
"MWAHAHAHHAAA!!!"
Suckers. I'll put them out of business by the end of this year. They'll rue the day they gave me a punch card for Dr. Pepper. However, they are weekend/backup Dr Pepper source only. Loud Happy Edgar #14 is worth a million punch cards. Easily.