I have to get into a bar. Everything fun in life happens in
Last Thursday night I decided to go meet strangers in a dive bar. And I took Louise with me. Because if anyone can charm potentially strangers in a dive bar, it's Louise.
Truthfully, they aren't complete strangers. Cam and Lara, who comment here, and author they occasional 50 word fiction, invited me to their monthly "have drinks in a dive bar with a whole bunch of people we know some of whom we just met." The first thing Cam did was give us each a dollar for the juke box, as it was the best juke box ever. I played Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, Neil Diamond, Cheap Trick and the Violent Femmes. I was able to prove that Louise is not just a little character on my blog, and she really does have a Scottish accent. Well, at least I was able to prove it to Cam and Lara. We met lots of really nice people, including one woman with whom we chatted for quite a while, and yet she was not insulted when we told her we couldn't remember her name. Lynn. I remember it now. I'm horrible with names. The second you introduce someone to me, I will instantly forget their name.
So Cam is affectionate and touchy, and Louise is not, and I think that if I were to arrange them at a table again, I would definitely put them next to each other. Just to watch Cam try not to touch her [she is really so very adorable, it's hard not to want to just pat her arm at least] and Louise try not to yell "bad touch! bad touch!" And Lara knows all the words to "I Want it Now" [aka: bean feast] from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Which just so happens to be a favorite song of mine to sing. Because, it really is my bar of chocolate, you know.
Anyway, you know you are having fun when you lose track of time, and soon it was 1 am on a school night. As Louise and I were walking back to the car, we passed a club, across the street, with loud hip hop streaming out. Three fine young gentlemen in very saggy trousers were hanging out on the side walk. As we walked past them, Louise was doing that talking thing you do, when you don't want some stranger to talk to you or ask you to sign their petition or give them a dollar. Nonetheless... one of the Fine Young Gentlemen with Saggy Trousers asked if we were sisters. To which I replied, politely, "Oh no... no we are not sisters."
He was just surprised that I would actually answer him, and thanked me for the response. As we passed, one or more of the FYG w/ ST yelled out to us. "hey... you got something fine following you!"
"Louise, we have something following us... do you think it's a puppy?"
More yelling from the FYG w/ST that indicated it was indeed not a puppy, but rather it was a booty. I don't know which one, maybe both.
"No, it's not a puppy. I do believe he is referring to our fine posteriors."
"Hmmm... I wish it was a puppy."
But when we got in the car, we broke into a rousing rendition of "Baby Got Back" anyway.
I'm still waiting for my bean feast, by the way.
Comments
Comments closed on older entries, whenever I get around to it, to avoid spam.i'm laughing so hard. i wonder how my posterior looks as i laugh. could you direct me to those fyg w/ st? i shall ask them.
Posted by: river selkie | 24 août 2005 23h36
Did the puppy bite your booty?
Perhaps the guys with saggy pants were jealous that they had no booty to hold up said droopy drawers.
I am enjoying your blog, btw. You should put some recordings of your cello on there! Perhaps a rendition of Baby Got Back would be nice.
Posted by: AcousticKitty | 24 août 2005 23h44
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar... Bartender says, "What, is this some kind'a joke?"
Posted by: AcousticKitty | 24 août 2005 23h46
I would have been looking for the puppy too. I am apparently way behind on the current street slang. LOL
Posted by: Christine | 25 août 2005 8h46
"...do you think its a puppy?" hehehehe.
oh how i wish i had a friend who would drag me to a dive bar. its sounds like a lot of fun.
Posted by: loon | 25 août 2005 8h51
I just used to ask if "you got fries with that shake?"
Damn you Morgan Spurlock! Damn you and your fry-hating, liberal cronies!!
Posted by: Thomas | 25 août 2005 9h54
thomas, if someone had asked me if i had fries with my shake, that would have just made me laugh. cuz that's old skool.
christine, loon, and river, it was fun. it would have been even more fun with puppies! 4 out of 5 psycho analysts agree that things are better with puppies.
acoustic kitty, you are soooo overestimating my cello playing abilities. it would be both cruel and unnecessary punishment for me to inflict it upon the general public. the government should use me as a weapon. i wasn't just being humble when i said i play poorly. :)
Posted by: Jodi | 25 août 2005 16h18
it would be both cruel and unnecessary punishment for me to inflict it upon the general public. the government should use me as a weapon.
Kate Bush - Experiment IV?
Oh, and, um....I've heard you, and you weren't that bad. =)
Posted by: Marie | 25 août 2005 16h23
OK, I feel like I should defend myself. First off, I am both affectionate and touchy. Secondly, Louise is very touchable. Hmm, Jodi already said both of those things. Well, that is all the defense I have. So shoot me. Clearly if we sit near each other again then something along the lines of either a wall or a taser is going to be necessary.
Loon, if you are ever in Seattle, we will take you to a dive bar.
Posted by: Cam Ferroni | 25 août 2005 17h17
Cam, it's not your fault. Don't think we all don't have to force ourselves not to hug her each and every day. With those rosy cheeks and that darling accent? please!
Posted by: Jodi | 25 août 2005 17h46