Lunch lady
I think I have found my new profession, kids. I have lunch with people. That's what I do. I lunch. I had lunch with my stepfather, on my way down from Canada yesterday. I had lunch with mom today. I am having lunch with some ex-coworkers on Thursday. Lunching is what I do.
My car was searched on my way into the states Monday. First time searched. I think of it more as a mini search. They didn't pull me to the side for a full search, but the extremely nosey border guard went thru my back seat and trunk, opened up my suitcase. But the worst part is, he scared me into lying. No one has actually asked me what I do for a living since I quit my job, which is odd because border guards both ways love that question "who do you work for?" But this guy was so weird and so freaking suspicious that I panicked and said I was a freelance technical writer. Of course, lying to a government official freaked me out even more. I don't even know why I did it. I could just say I was unemployed. But he acted like I was a surefire candidate for some kind of smuggling. I know it's their job but every answer I gave to each question he returned with a look of "oh really?"
What I need is a good answer that is also honest. Any suggestions? Anyone willing to pay me a dollar for something I write so I can say I'm a writer? Stephen King says that's all I need to say it.
Comments
Comments closed on older entries, whenever I get around to it, to avoid spam.How about "web developer"? Surely blogging can be useful ... I will give you $10 to design a small "drinkjack" logo that I can use in my URL line. Mine is currently difficult to comprehend.
Posted by: DrinkJack
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23 janvier 2007 15h46
maybe he recognized you from your frequent border crossings and figures you for a drug smuggler. my suggestion, try crossing the border in a hot air balloon at night. worked for some east germans.
Posted by: river selkie | 23 janvier 2007 22h37
what did you think of "the dresden files"? did you get a chance to watch it? how did you feel about paul blackthorne as harry?
i liked it. i liked paul. can't wait til it gets going though. they need to develop his friendship with murph a lot more. personally, i am not a big fan of terrance stamp as bob, but i can deal with that.
Posted by: river selkie | 23 janvier 2007 22h44
i mean terrance mann. haha. whoops.
Posted by: river selkie | 23 janvier 2007 22h45
They drill senses of humour out of Border Security at Border Security School.
Although when I was detained at Immigration in Canada for an hour, the guy told me a story of some kid smuggling a hamster in their luggage, which got out and ran all over the place.
Posted by: Roland Hulme | 24 janvier 2007 3h06
next time say you're a professional lunch companion. people pay you to sit and converse for lunch! if that doesn't work, i got a dollar with your name on it.
and River, i ditto everything you said about the dresden files :) (and i think terrence stamp would have been a better bob lol)
Posted by: loon
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24 janvier 2007 6h30
Be creative. Use a thesaurus, if necessary.
For example, I once represented a guy, back when I was still practicing law, who described himself as a "population reduction technician."
He was a convicted murderer.
Posted by: the fool | 24 janvier 2007 6h50
population reduction specialist. that is funny in a very naughty way. haha
Posted by: river selkie | 24 janvier 2007 22h14