Deadly Bulb. I'm about to write you a reality check. Or would you prefer the cold, hard cash of truth?
I mentioned, earlier, that I signed up for an online writing "intensive." It's kinda freaking me out, frankly. First of all, I'm expected to critique others? Seriously? I'm sure some part of my brain registered that fact before I signed up, but now that I am faced with the imminent fact, it's daunting. Critique how? I don't critique. I'm not a critiquer.
"Nice penmanship" doesn't really work in an online environment.
I'm having flashbacks to 12th grade AP English class. That class caused no end of stress and anxiety related stomach pains. (In fact, so ingrained in my psyche was the fact that stomach pains were associated with anxiety and stress, I lived with gal stone attacks for a year before going to the doctor. I just figured I was REALLY stressed.) All we did in that class was write. The goal was to be able to sit down and write a standard 5 paragraph, approximately 500 word, essay about any topic at a drop of a hat. And to do so well enough, in a big expensive test, that you could clep out of college hours of English credit.
Which I did.
So I suppose, for that, I owe AP English a "thank you." But I lived in constant fear of my teacher using my work as an example of what not to do. He seemed far more fond of examples of what not to do, in my memory. I never got any kind of extraordinary praise, so, therefore, it stood to reason that everything I did was crap. At best, mediocre crap. I never felt like I was up to the standards of that class.
And, ok, most of the time it was anonymous, but the peer critiques were merciless. Except for mine. They were non-existant. There was also the ultimate fear that he would put your paper on the overhead projector. God... even if it was anonymous, I think the blushing look of horror on my face would have given me away. Don't get me started on the times it was not anonymous.
For some it was intellectually stimulating, I suppose. Not for me.
Every day I would quiz my friends Julie and Holly what had happened in their 3rd period AP class, so I would know if I would need to find a miraculous way to be somewhere other than 5th period AP English. Or, better yet, just learn to be invisible.
So yeah, I'm in an online writing intensive and I'm a bit freaked out. And - double ack - my homework is due tomorrow!
Comments
Comments closed on older entries, whenever I get around to it, to avoid spam.Hey, have you read Twilight? Apparently it's all the rage with the kids.
I get your fears. As for AP English, I was a god in that class. The graders (the computer lab ladies) always gave me A+++++. I'm not even kidding. I never thought there'd be a day....and they'd even go so far as to draw stick figures doing backflips and stuff. The other writing must have sucked.
And the overhead projector. Mine was always up there as the best example. I got a 5 on the test. Bwah ha ha ha.
Ah. I tell you this because at the rate I was going, you'd have expected me to have written a million best sellers. To be the next Agatha Christie. But no, I suck. I've achieved nothing.
It also set me up for failure and harsh realizations. College was a bitch. Ha ha ha. Sigh. You'll do awesome on the critiques. Just be honest.
Posted by: aries327 | 30 novembre 2007 7h48
I have a 12-year old that has school-related stress that is causing stomach aches. We've been to the doctor twice to make sure the aches aren't something more serious.
He's 12! He shouldn't be agonizing over school.
Posted by: delmer | 30 novembre 2007 13h25
oooh! an online intensive! i wanna do one of those. is it through a 'school' or something?
Posted by: river selkie | 30 novembre 2007 22h40
My grade 12 AP class was a horrible, horrible joke - that was the year I officially gave up on school and started handing in one-word essays.... I still passed with a mystifyingly high grade as the teacher was scared of women. Or something. I don't know why I passed. Probably because I kicked ass on the final exam as I suddenly realized this might actually be important. Or something. Then my university chose to not acknowledge the AP grade - big waste of time all around.
I took a poetry writing class in university and the "critiquing" was totally useless. People got really angry and defensive about their "work", especially one young freak when I pointed out that her poetry was coming across as severely hating of men "It's POLITICAL poetry! I'm going to be a LAWYER! You obviously don't understand POLITICAL POETRY!!!"
I honestly love getting critiqued... it's the bland "this is really good!!!" that completely pisses me off. How to get better if everyone is just issuing smiley faces and playing "nice"? Get vicious on their asses! Wouldn't you want the same?
Posted by: french panic | 3 décembre 2007 8h55