faster pussycat... type! type!

go to barnes and noble, baby!!

Posted by jodi at 19h44 | Permalink | Comments (7)

take a look at the icon in the lower right of the page.

Posted by jodi at 19h37 | Permalink | Comments (4)

well, i bet you are wondering how i did on nanowrimo. truth is, i think i’m almost done. of course, the other truth is, after the first 30k, everything started falling apart and i was just typing words for word count sake. i even retold stories from my blog, last night. i stayed up until about 3:30 am. i went back and read a bunch of my old blog entries, and then retold them. part of me feels like i’m cheating, because i already wrote those stories. but then, part of me says “fuck off! so i’m using ideas from past stories? they are my words and i am retyping them!” which is true. and nothing comes out the same way when you write it a second time. i can tell you, there is not a single word in my story that did not come from me. as a matter of fact, i am writing this blog entry in my story now. why? because i don’t have time to waste words, people! and like i said, the story has pretty much fallen apart. i’m ok with that, i’m going to continue on with it, but i’ve made some changes, and i have some new ideas. i’m going to write the whole damn thing, believe me. and i’ll probably use some of my stories from the blog, changed to fit into lucy’s world. write what you know, right? that’s what life experiences are for.

things i’ve learned:

• i love to write.
  
• i want to write for a living.
  
• you have to write every day. don’t take too many days off in a row, in the middle of a story, you’ll lose your flow.
  
• as crappy as you think something is, while you write it, when you go back and read it, you find it’s not crap at all.
  
• characters really do take over the story, and decide what is going to happen. i thought it was cliche, but it’s not.
  
• just because you don’t want any romance in the story, does not mean that lucy is going to listen to you.
  
• sometimes, characters change their names halfway through the book.
  
• and, again, i love to write. i think that maybe, it’s possible, that just maybe i might eventually get to do it for a living. you never know. stranger things have happened.

Posted by jodi at 19h34 | Permalink

you know, the first half of the 50k i wrote, for nanowrimo, wasn't all that hard. but this second half. it's hard! it's crap. all the things i thought would happen, are sounding trite and boring. i no longer have the momentum of the 'beginning.' i guess i am working my way to end of the first third of a book. and maybe that's the real tough part. i don't know. i'm spending a lot more time thinking, and less time typing, than i did in the beginning. in the beginning, it was dying to get out.

anyway, not going to be too much updating done, until i finish this thing. sunday night seems awfully soon. and time travels faster when you are vacation, that's a proven fact. you'll hear from me again, when i break 30k.

Posted by jodi at 20h20 | Permalink | Comments (2)

i love chris, the nanowrimo guy...

"And if you, like me, are somewhere far below 50,000, know that the week of our heroic, come-from-behind victory has officially begun. This is not just something we'll do. It's something we are. We're last-minute writers, quick-witted storytellers, and procrastinating dreamers. Dreamers who are wide awake now, and flying towards the finish line. "

Posted by jodi at 19h05 | Permalink | Comments (2)

i have more than half of my word count left to write, and it is the last week of nanowrimo. am i insane? yes, i believe i am. for pete's sake, what was i thinking? i guess i was thinking i needed a little pressure.

today is the last day of ramadan, which means that soon, fee will be able to pig out!! like a hungry, vegetarian pig. and, in celebration, all non-muslim americans will pig out on thursday. in a show of religious tolerance. because that's what america's all about right? tolerance. sure. actually, i believe america, and thanksgiving, is all about turkey. for me, it's all about stuffing and pie. i'm in charge of the pies every year. and i think this is due to be one of my good years. every few years, i start to get cocky, and think i've got this pie baking shit down pat. and something bad happens to humble me. last year i decided to forgo the pecan pie, which i don't like anyway, for another family recipe my mom really likes. my grandma loretta's apple cake. it was a disaster!! i don't remember what the cake is supposed to be like... but my cake was mush, and tasted like... paste. the pumpkin pie was fine. but a few years before that, i forgot to put sugar in the pumpkin pie. it tasted like ... again... paste. this year, i'm sticking to the traditional pumpkin and pecan pies. nothing fancy or new. so i should be ok, knock on wood. like i said, i'm due for a year of successful baking, after last years horrific apple cake debacle. if someone wants something else, let them make it themselves. the best part about it is, i'm making one pie for the family and one for me. yummmm... i could live on pumpkin pie with whipped cream on top. [don't say it, fee. i know what you are thinking.]

Posted by jodi at 14h47 | Permalink | Comments (6)

what does this mean? i don't know... i was just killing time.

Your soul is bound to the Yellow Rose: The
Gentle.

"I've travelled through the land of
surrender and seen it all. I throw my heart
out and keep my head up, and now I travel
through the land of peace."

The Yellow Rose is associated with friendship,
intuition, and fun. It is governed by the
goddess Hestia and its sign is The Intertwined
Rings, or True Friendship.

As a Yellow Rose, you always look out for your
friends. You would much rather have strong
ties with friends than a single tie with a
lover and your devotion to your friends is
clear. You may have great intuition and be
able to read emotions clearly, but sometimes
you can seem distant yourself.


What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by jodi at 21h36 | Permalink | Comments (1)

i am a product junkie. i admit it. a product, for the sake of this entry, is something one uses on one's skin, body, hair, face... whatever, to make oneself more attractive, or perhaps to look younger. or to make one's hair shinier. or all of the above. i don't include makeup in that category. it has it's own special category called "makeup." i'm less of a makeup junkie. although i do like nail polish. i mostly only wear mascara. but it's good mascara. or should i say bad mascara? anyway, i'm in good company. i was reading another journal today, about The Soap. That's what she called it. The Soap. it's a japanese soap you have to order online, and it's $34. and the thing is, i can believe it. i can believe it's that good, and worth $34 dollars. it's supposed to last 3 months, which is $11 a month. so i'm curious about The Soap, and i do a little reading about it. now i want The Soap. why not? don't i deserve to glow? i think i do. i just know that this Soap could change my life. it could make everything better. but am i buying the Soap? no. because the IRS has stolen all the joy from my life. they keep me from things like fabulous, expensive, japanese soap. bastards.

speaking of soaps, here's another one i love. this one's for the entire you, and it's absolutely delightful. it's chocolate milk soap. it's french. or at least half the label is in french, so maybe it's canadian, i don't know. it makes my regular liquid shower soap feel like gas station restroom hand soap. i can't describe it, it's just so ... rich and creamy. the chocolate scent is very very subtle. and it comes in other "flavors" all of them in a glass milk bottles, pump sold separately. but it's $27 a bottle. so it's not my every day soap. it's my couple times a week soap. my "sunday night too bad i have to go back to work i need a treat" soap. maybe if i am good, santa will bring me another bottle of chocolate milk soap for christmas. i can just see santa, in the guise of my mom, Pattie, saying to herself "twenty seven dollars? FOR SOAP?" best we don't tell santa pattie about the other Soap.

one thing the irs cannot take away from me is my girl shanti. shanti does my eyebrows. she used to wax more of me, but those luxuries were sacrificed as well. all i know, is things better be looking up by late spring, i am NOT going to shave my legs all summer. however, the irs can do a lot of things to me, but they cannot make me give up the brow wax. never underestimate the power of a well groomed eyebrow people. it makes all the difference in the world. more difference, i imagine, than any japanese soap. not that i would know. *pout*

i saw shanti this morning, got my brows done. they look fabulous. before i left the house, i read some überblog entries. my friends had written about their ecological concerns, maximizing benefits while reducing costs, building communities of like-minded people and spiritual quests to shed the ego. [i haven't figured out, yet, what that means, i'll let you know when kam explains it to me.] and what do i post about? expensive Products.

god i love being shallow.

Posted by jodi at 21h12 | Permalink | Comments (6)

oh you KNOW i'm procrastinating now... i just spent an hour researching robot exclusion files. i have now told all spiders and web crawlers to BUZZ OFF. no more sneaking around, looking for links and email addresses. ya bastards.

Posted by jodi at 22h00 | Permalink | Comments (1)

i'm on vacation!! i'm on vacation!!

you know, i was thinking about it, and i cannot remember the last time i had a solid week off. i think it was last christmas. i've been taking days here and there, but i haven't had a whole week off. i'm even taking an extra day, monday dec. 1st. i marked out this PTO time in august. i've been waiting forever to be on vacation. and i worked my tail off today, getting my list of to-do's done. which is good, because people were starting to comment on the tail.

so, lots of writing to be done this week. gotta put my nose to the grindstone. or, as dr. stevil and i decided, i have to put my nose to the rhinestone. because that sounds prettier. so instead of writing, i came home and added a Currently Reading booklist like loon's. i've always been jealous of her. i want to be just like her if i grow up. not when. if.

and, in other news, louise set up her blog. you should go over there and look at the pretty jewelry she makes. such an artist!! i'm hoping she soon puts up pictures of her newly adopted cats. one's name is fred, and the last i heard, the other one's name might be daphne. her website is called vratch, but i can't remember what that means. i'm going to link to it anyway!!

Posted by jodi at 18h27 | Permalink

for all those nanowrimo participants, who are a little discouraged about their word counts... for all those people who are upset that today is thursday, and not friday... for all those people who bought a mini pizza for lunch, trusting that it was as it was labeled to be, only to find black olives all over it.... for those who are not eating during daylight hours and may be feeling a little lightheaded... for those who are taking classes, and have assignments that are keeping you from slacking off... for those of you who have to deal with RV owners... and for those of you who are just feeling a bit sluggish, or blue....
.

this song is for you

Posted by jodi at 12h00 | Permalink | Comments (4)

ok, i am officially NOT enjoying the ruckus on the ff site anymore. it's become icky and uncomfortable. blech.

Posted by jodi at 21h09 | Permalink | Comments (3)

bad blogger. i tried to update like three times today. and it all came out CRAP. i was very uninspired today. i did write a whole lot of wrimo at lunch either. i'm at 22,308 words. when last we left lucy, well, when last you left lucy, she was getting drunk at a family dinner, and on her way to true depression. she's had some adventures. she's bought some more pajamas, that's all she wears now. one pair of pajama pants has monkeys holding bananas on them. and, she won't go anywhere without stanley, she keeps him stuffed in her grey hoodie. she's spent an interesting and hopefully amusing, afternoon at unemployment. and she's visited, and rejected, her first therapist. there's more, of course, but them's the highlights. hilarity is ensuing. there's no way this story will be finished at 50k. which is good. because 50k is not a true novel. a real novel is usually 3x's that or more. but, i will have 50k done by nov. 30th. failure is not an option. there is no try, only do.

there is a write in on the eastside tonight. and i should go, because i'm guarenteed to write more if i get out of the house. except, i don't really want to. because i'm home now. and i'm comfy. and it's angel night. and, while i could go write until nine, getting home in time to have enough tivo'd to skip commercials... i'm already hoooooome. it's comfy here. i could have cheerios for dinner. i like cheerios. besides, the fremont write in is tomorrow, and i will probably go to that.

i think i've pretty much made up my mind, don't you?

there's a bit of a catfight going on, over at the fanfiction group i belong to. i find it amusing because it has nothing to do with me, and is, in no way, directed at me. i root for no particular side. i just enjoy a good flame. the only one i feel bad for is the girl who's actions started it all. she was just being helpful and gracious. but i emailed her and told her she didn't' do anything wrong. and i'm sure several other people did as well. so that leaves me free to sit back and enjoy the ruckus. i enjoy a good ruckus... don't you, blue? ;)

fee, kam, elle and liloo multisuck and i had nice chatty emails back and forth all day. it was just like the old days. it was fun!!

cheerios are calling my name!!

Posted by jodi at 17h54 | Permalink | Comments (5)

massachusettes is all about the love, baby! congratulations, massachusettes on your forward thinking. and for recognizing all types of love.

that's bitchen.

Posted by jodi at 10h04 | Permalink

Your medieval name is: Lisolette. Quiet and artsy,
you're different from the crowd. You have a
taste in music or art and are sometimes
depressed and private. You're naturally lovely.


What is your Medieval name?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by jodi at 17h17 | Permalink | Comments (5)

her name is lola
she is a nissan
with purple dice hangin' on the mirror
and a jedi knight sitting in the rear

but she was taken
jodi was mistaken
she came downstairs to find no car
she couldn't travel very far

she had to stay home all day
because she forgot to pay
she lost her comfort cruiser and she lost her dignity, her ride had slipped away!

for the cruiser, the princess comfort cruiser, leather seats and transportation,
a sparkling golden creation, ride in lola..... she'll get you there.

there was a car loan
that the bank did own
they hadn't seen any money
they didn't think that was funny

in desperation
trying to avoid the bus station
jodi called them on the phone
and promised to atone

at first they said no way
and then they said okay
who knows what made them change their minds at b of a!

for the cruiser, the princess comfort cruiser, leather seats and transportation,
a sparkling golden creation, ride in lola..... she'll get you there.

now they're together
cruisin' around forever
jodi's glad to have her back
grateful the bank cut her some slack

jodi will go for a ride
and wax her car with pride
and the next time she forgets to pay she'll remember to hide...

the cruiser, the princess comfort cruiser, leather seats and transportation,
a sparkling golden creation, ride in lola..... you'll fall in love.

Posted by jodi at 15h53 | Permalink | Comments (3)

i called b of a back, to schedule and appt. for me and my stepdad to come in and talk to them. and before i even had a chance to do that they told me i could have my car back. they'd reinstate the loan. sooooo.... apparently, the trick is to call back, and not ask to have it back. i'm going to have to fork over a couple of thousand dollars. but... let's look at the alternative.

the alternative is the bus, people. i'm not overly fond of the bus.

it's too late to do anything about it today. evildeb is going to take me to all the banks i need to hit tomorrow morning. and then i'll take the stupid bus into n. seattle on monday morning and pick it up. i think i am still going to borrow the truck for the weekend, tho.

note to fee: i don't know where ginormous comes from, but you are correct when you say i didn't get it from kevin and bean. i've never even heard kevin and bean.

Posted by jodi at 15h18 | Permalink | Comments (1)

yaaaaaay!! 20,036 words!! i broke 20k!
i realize my last excited word count update was less than 2 thousand ago. but 20k is a pretty big landmark. don't you think? or would it be wordmark?

anyway, my stepfather is not mad at me. in fact, he's been really really sweet. he told me to call bank of america, and see if we can't make an appt. to come in and see them, together, next week. he's cosigned on my loan. i told him about the garnishment back in sept, and how screwed up i was financially. and he admonished me for not telling him sooner... that that's what family was for. [by the way, i wouldn't use the word admonished, normally, but now that i am writing a novel, i feel i could be more descriptive.] he just called back a few minutes ago and said that he needed to use his truck tomorrow morning, but that i could use it after that. his truck is a big fat red ford lightening. it's sweet. he's got another car he drives now. a new something or another. volvo? something nice. saab? i don't know. anyway, he kept the truck. for truck needs. and he said i could use it. i dont' know for how long, but we'll see what happens.

it's not a baby blue buick, but it is ginormous.

Posted by jodi at 13h00 | Permalink | Comments (2)

they won't give my car back unless i give them 18 thousand dollars.

how many people here think i have 18 thousand dollars?

Posted by jodi at 9h36 | Permalink | Comments (5)

i wrote 5,989 words today! i'm up to 18,772, and for the first time since i've started, I'M ON TRACK TO FINISH ON TIME!! yay me!! i wrote a little bit this afternoon, as previously mentioned. but then i felt stuck. but i sat down and started typing. and typing and typing. and i got through that stuck part.

whooooooo!!

Posted by jodi at 21h21 | Permalink | Comments (4)

whooo-hooo! i broke 15,000. i wrote 2,252 words today. i think. 2 thousand two hundred and something. i'm at 15,037. trucking along. of course, there are reasons i was able to spend more time writing today. but we'll get to those in a minute.

as you can see, i changed the color scheme a little. it's more fall/winter, don't you think? also, i colored my hair, so i thought it was appropriate that the swing babe go red as well.

so, you wanna know why i'm stuck home today? i don't know if i want to tell you. i'm not proud of myself. i went downstairs this morning to find my car gone. and no, "stolen" was not the first word i thought of. i knew what had happened. i was still shocked. i've hit a new bottom, in terms of financial screw ups. this has never happened to me. i've never had my car repossessed. i don't even know anyone who's had their car repossessed! i knew i was behind. but i didn't know i was that far behind. the thing is, it's all my fault. and some of it is really stupid, because i had money for part of the bill i owed! i just kept forgetting to send it! that makes it even worse. i'm such an idiot.

i felt pretty crappy this morning. but then, i sort of felt relieved as well. which may seem odd. but if this had happened to me last year, i wouldn't have handled it as well. i would have turned around and gone back to bed and not dealt with it. i would have stayed in bed for a couple of days, forcing myself to sleep because life was too overwhelming to deal with. my depression was at it's worst this time last year. but today, even though i feel like i complete loser, i got on the phone and called the bank. and then i called the repo people. i can't do anything until tomorrow morning, so i spent most of the morning punishing myself. i made an appt. to talk with a financial councilor and deal with my debt. i downloaded and installed quicken, and put my checking account into it. and i did two loads of laundry. i explained to pru how her mommy is a "deadbeat" and a "financial risk." but she wasn't impressed. so eventually i got bored with it and started to work on the color scheme. and then i wrote.

so, it may not seem all that great, but it's a huge relief to me, to see that i didn't completely curl up in defeat. not exactly worth getting the car repossessed tho.

Posted by jodi at 16h19 | Permalink | Comments (7)

i am changing the color scheme on the blog, as i type. so if things seem a little kittywampus, that's why.

Posted by jodi at 13h15 | Permalink

sorry... no time for updatey today. busy busy busy. had to a: do my job b: go to the movies after work and c: come home from the movies and watch angel. all terribly terribly important. and now d: i'm tired.

word count is at 12,000 something... i don't remember what exactly. i just know i wrote 1420 words at lunch. lucy's getting good and depressed now. should be fun. soon she won't leave her bed! and, after a lot of brainstorming with dr. stevil, via AIM - even tho he sits two cubes over, the cat has a new name. Stanley. it fits. trust me. now i have to go back and replace all the other names i used with stanley. hope i can remember them all. i just kept trying names out to see if they fit.

speaking of cats, i have to go spend some quality time with pru. talk to you tomorrow!! be good, dear internet friends!

Posted by jodi at 22h22 | Permalink

so you want to hear something weird? i went on that diet for one day. one day last week, right? and after that, about all i changed was i quit having dr. peppers and baby chocolate donnettes for breakfast. and i haven't had any bread. that's it. well... i've lost 10 and a half pounds. what's up with that? it's that scale. it's the instrument of the devil. seriously, kids... i haven't changed that much. i already was drinking water, and i haven't even made it up to the goal of 64 ounces a day! i've had numerous snapples, and i drank dr. pepper friday afternoon and all day saturday. i've even had candy and oreos!! i think that scale is lying to me. it's mean. except, i do have old jeans that wouldn't fit before on right now. i think the jeans and scale are in cahoots. i don't understand it. but there it is.

word count is up to 11,363 now. currently, lucy is having a family dinner, it's still the day after the fire, and she's getting drunk. hilarity should ensue, if all goes according to plan. however, in a strange turn of events, lucy is letting it be known that she does not want to turn into a regular old writer at the end of the book. she wants to write comic books. so now all the sudden she draws! i don't know... it's just want she wants. this is hard for me because i don't draw and i don't know anything about comic book creation. i'll have to make it up, for now. i've asked for mr. moon's advice. but what can i do? if she wants to create comic books, she's going to do it. i'm at the mercy of her desires.

the other problem is the cat. the cat doesn't like his name. phinnigan. but he's not letting me know what his real name is. so what... am i just supposed to call him Cat? i guess all will be revealed when he is good and ready. even in stories cats are always in control.

Posted by jodi at 14h11 | Permalink | Comments (3)

the end of the world is coming, and you are screwed no matter what.

Posted by jodi at 11h53 | Permalink | Comments (3)

so it seems everyone has food issues. and i am not the biggest freak in the group. or, at least, the only freak. although, what wicked does to a rib eye should be declared illegal. wicked, stick to sirloin and give all your rib eye steaks to me. i'm sorry [not very] to say that i have not had a chance to work on my cooking issues, as i can never remember to defrost any of the meat that is in the freezer. there are just SO MANY STEPS to cooking. i don't like it.

nano word count is at 8,368. way behind goal. lucy has been laid off in a blaze of glory. she made a brief visit to her friend ashna's hippie store, so that we could introduce that character. then she went home and fell asleep in pajama pants, on her couch, not long after that, she lost her home and car in a blaze of glory. fire fire fire, smoke smoke smoke... after that, she wakes up at mo's, her grandmothers. talk talk exposition exposition discussion discussion pancakes pancakes. mo's friend bertie has just stopped by, so we meet bertie. who is a coot. or hoot. i'm not sure which. and that's where we are. lucy's about to take a bath and sink back into depression. fun!

i need to pick up the pace. but i do have that whole last week of november off, to write. according to the weekly pep talk, the 2nd week of wrimo is called the Week of Fatigue. that's when everyone gets tired, and wonders why they are doing this. they've progressed far enough along to see that their plots are not going anywhere they planned, and they are afraid that it's all going to fall apart. but, if you get through the Week of Fatigue, you should be ace's by week three. everything's good in week three.

Posted by jodi at 11h00 | Permalink | Comments (7)

i need this so badly... it makes my heart hurt that it's not already on my wall!!

Posted by jodi at 23h30 | Permalink | Comments (1)

people say to me, "hey jodi... how come you are doing this nanowrimo thing? you are incredibly lazy, and this sounds like a lot of work." let me tell you, you are right on both counts. it is a lot of work. a lot of hard work, it's not just getting words on the screen, either. i could type 50,000 words today if i had to. i'm not saying they'd make sense, if you read them, but i could do it. however, it's just not that easy. why not? it just isn't. it isn't about word count, well... it is, but it isn't all about word count. you want to have 50,000 words of good stuff. personally, i want 50,000 words of shear genius prose. but i'm not getting it. and boy there is a voice in my head and will not shut up. sometimes it goes on and on about how i am fooling myself, for ever thinking there was a possibility i could be a writer. it compares me not only to my favorite published authors, but my favorite fan fiction authors... brave, prolific, people who post their writing for all the world to adore or rip to shreds. sometimes, when it's bored, the voice just sings "crap crap crappity crap" over and over in a sing song voice, while it hand stamps it's own christmas cards. it's then i realize that i have put a persona to that voice. that voice is very much like my ex-best friend tina's more emotionally punishing moments. that voice doesn't like my kandinksy prints, so i hang them in the bedroom, so we can hang her water color prints of cowboys. which are perfectly fine, but absolutely NOT representative of me in anyway, and it's my living room too.

and so i say to that voice SHUT THE FUCK UP, TINA!!

but that wasn't the question, that was the reason it was hard. the reason i want to do it, and the reason i like to blog as well, for that matter, can best be summed up by a famous quote:

"A writer writes not because he is educated but because he is driven by the need to communicate. Behind the need to communicate is the need to share. Behind the need to share is the need to be understood." ` leo rosten.

i don't even know who leo rosten is, but that statement right there sums it up. and blast it if i don't wish i were articulate enough to have said it myself.

Posted by jodi at 16h36 | Permalink | Comments (3)

we are worried about the level of hostility that you are expressing, and your constant references to oral sex. your lack of blogitivity simply shows how much you have withdrawn from society. the uberbrain is taking up a collection, and we'd very much appreciate it if you'd just sign the papers, rather than forcing us to take legal action. we'd rather spend the money on adequate therapies, and not on legal fees, however we can get the courts to rule in our favor, if need be. we are most confident in that matter. it will relect poorly upon you, if you fight this little reality, and can hamper your eventual release. it's so much nicer when we all just agree, isn't it?

love,

the überbrain

ps: the book is called curves, and it does not mention a personal chef. although i imagine a personal chef would solve a lot of my problems. - jodi

Posted by jodi at 11h04 | Permalink

some stumbling blocks to the low carb thing. i have a problem. two problems. i sorta forgot about them. a: i don't cook. and when i do, it turns out badly. this could probably be remedied with practice. but b: is a stranger issue. it's been so long since i've prepared anything from scratch, i'd actually forgotten about it. when i cook, i get queasy. not massively so, but what we call "alien baby" level. whatever i am cooking, with the exception of cookies, makes me queasy. and then i won't eat it. and i admit it, anything MEAT is the worst. just having contact with it, in it's uncooked form... ruins it for me. now, don't go thinking i'm a closet vegetarian, cuz i'm not. i feel the same way when i make a salad. i can sit and watch you make me a steak start to finish, no problem. but if i handle the meat, if i am responsible for the cooking, i get queasy. it's just so... fleshy.

anyway. yeah. i didn't eat lunch because it made me ill, i didn't eat dinner for the same reason, and i couldn't eat my breakfast. i'm sure this is a psychological coping mechanism, which enables me to never fully grow up and take on grownup responsibilities. hey... i can't cook, i'll get queasy.

i'm not ready to give up. entirely. my issues with cooking can be overcome. so here is what i decided to do, the whole cooking thing was stressing me out. i'm kinda edgy right now. so, i'm not on the diet. lasted a day. lost a pound and a half. :) but sandy's advice confirmed what i already knew. you can't cheat on this diet and get results. and i'm not at the point where i can cook and eat my own cooking for every meal. oh yeah, i am decided to do, through november, possible the holidays entirely:

- cut down on sugar. no morning dr. pepper. it's diet dr. pepper. no candy.
- religiously drink 64 ounces of water a day. lost a whole size last year doing just that.
- find ways to incorporate more protein in my diet, to deal with carby crashes.
- cook my own dinner at least four days a week, from scratch, no frozen, until i get better, and i don't get queasy.
- be aware of how many carbs i eat, and cut down on them. less pasta and bread.

i think that's it for now. it sounds like a good start. i know you are probably thinking the whole queasy cooking/eating thing is crazy. but let's not forget louise, who can only eat of plates of certain colors, or she gets queasy. that's crazier... right? louise and i together... in a restaurant. "what color plates do you server your food on, can i see one ahead of time? btw, i hate pork. don't bring me pork." "look, it's very important that my food not touch. you've got some vegetable medley touching my pasta. is there mayonnaise on that? i can't eat mayonnaise... I'LL HURL!! seriously... i've got a note from my doctor."

answers to some comments:
wow, sandy!! that's amazing! and awesome! yay, you! and loon, you are correct, it is evil. they were evil cupcakes. and i pity the souls of the people who ate them. and fee... not one peep out of you about food. it's ramadan. you are not allowed to talk about food during daylight hours. and if it's not daylight hours, what are you doing commenting on my food, you should be eating a pile of your own food. :P

tonight i am going to try to do something about my pathetic word count. as of yet, lucy hasn't even been laid off from her job, or confronted her sorta boyfriend, hal, about his affair with the slutty penelope. i haven't even finished the first plot turtle. word count? still 2,809. i didn't write last night, i went to bed instead. i was queasy!!

Posted by jodi at 18h47 | Permalink | Comments (8)

evildeb is being extra evil today, although i'm not certain she planned to be. she brought in carrot cake cupcakes, with cream cheese frosting. to make them extra special, she explained how she was baking an apple pie in the rack above, and apple pie juice bubbled over from the pie, into the cupcakes. i can have none of these delicious pie infested cupcakes. because they are just tiny CARBS with CARB FROSTING. on my first day, too. mean. i pointed this out to her, and she claims she didn't even think of it that way. but that's the evil for you...

speaking of cupcakes, my coworker molly was in nyc last week for some trade show and says she found a "cupcake place" not far from the ice cream place i told her about. a place just for cupcakes? that's ok, steve found a place that's all about rice pudding. how could i have missed THAT when i was in nyc. he promised me he'd check it out. did i mention that dr. stevil is in nyc as well?

so far... i am not receiving any particular energy boosts from the high protein low carb diet. but i guess i have to give it more than 5 hours, huh?

Posted by jodi at 12h24 | Permalink | Comments (3)

or even any of those little cheap food containers you can get in the plastic sandwich bag section of the grocery store. what id o have, is lots and lots of little baggies. which will all need to be assemblied at work. hopfefully i have an allen wrench at my desk.

note: the blue cheese i bought was made by the amish, who are trying to make a living with their simple ways, so buy their cheese. i don't know how the amish managed to ship blue cheese all the way to seattle. amish pony express?

Posted by jodi at 22h37 | Permalink

well, i'm well behind where i wanted to be. word count is 2157.day two and i'm already behind. this morning, i was only at 557... and not very happy about the whole thing. but fee's right, i have to remember to have fun with it, and i just wrote 1600 words. i feel much better about what i wrote tonight, than what i did yesterday. and i imagine i will kick word count ass during the week, because i tend to get more done when a: i am busy and b: at work. there is nothing like being at work to become inspired to do your own stuff.

that being said, i can't work on my own stuff during the day... we got a talking to about a variety of sins on friday. out of all the sins that were covered, there was only one that i felt that i was completely innocent of. but i was guilty, at some level, of the others. granted, they were stated rather ambiguously and generally. but i still felt the shame. i have scheduled a meeting room for lunch, however, and mary and i are going to write.

speaking of lunch, i am currently cooking a chicken breast for my lunch tomorrow. damn it... i'm cooking!! and packing lunches? i broke out the george forman grill. this is madness, this diet. stupid diet. if they had a low carb/ high protein restaurant with a drive thru, THAT might work for me.

cooking is dumb. so are carbohydrates.

Posted by jodi at 22h20 | Permalink

evil has breeched the sanctity of my home. i have purchased... a scale. i've never owned one. i've never brought one into my house. there always seemed to be ample places to find out how much you way. as if you'd want to know. i think we had one when i had roommates, but i can't remember. i know my mom had one growing up. but i myself have never owned one. but i'm starting a high protein/ low carb diet tomorrow. and weighing yourself, even after you hit goal, is supposed to be part of your daily routine. neat. i'm not doing atkins. i'm doing curves. which is supposed to be similar to the south beach diet. like i care. this is the book i have, i've had it for months, and it's the one that made the most sense to me. so... whatever.

i, in fact, bought two scales... i bought a food scale as well. oooooh. everything about going on this diet goes against my beliefs. well, except for the idea that everyone should eat lots of meat and cheese. that i totally agree with. but i had to PLAN OUT what i was going to eat for the week. i made until weds, which is pretty good for me. and then i had to MAKE A GROCERY LIST. a real one. the kind you stick to. what's up with that? i spent so much freakin' money. i've never spent that much money on nonpreapackaged foods or household items before. i bought meat from a butcher!! which is to say, larry's still has that old fashioned notion of people behind a counter who know what they are talking about, helping you. it's kind of scary to a girl like me. they have people that specialize in cheese! anyway, i had to tell a guy what i wanted, while he cut it up for me. whoa. i had a basket full of meat. i have two pork chops, three steaks, four chicken breasts [skinless], maple cut bacon, honey smoked ham and hebrew national hotdogs. i think that's it. while i only planned out through weds, i have plenty of meat for days. and days. and days. you know what? it looks GOOOOOOD.

tonight, however, i am having cheese ravioli with butter and lemon pepper. because i'm not going to see pasta for a while.

update to be continued later tonight. ...with Part 2: nanowrimo

Posted by jodi at 18h57 | Permalink