« novembre 2003 | Main | janvier 2004 »
Sexual Discrepancy
Which Inner Demon (tm) Possesses You?
brought to you by Quizilla
oooo... look at me. i'm a SEXY DEMON!! thanks loon!
why my family rules. a: my mom got me an electronic merriam-webster dictionary/thesaurus for xmas. cuz i wanted one. b: when given a borders gift card, by me, my cousin pat said he knew just what he wanted to get with it... a big dictionary. he was just sorry it wasn't all 9,782 volumes of the oxford dictionary.
ps: yes, i know it's not the study of bugs.
give it a few days.. eventually, i'll find my way back from the simsverse. you know what would help me? this:
but in a larger size. the size you would use to store a bunch of files. whatever size that is. a size of some significance, but not too large. and i need at least two of them. only i can't find them anywhere. the largest size i can find would hold a few hanging files. maybe. it would sit on top of your desk. i need BOXES. but they need to be pretty like that. i'm tired of the stacks of ugly boxes i have storing all my books that won't fit in the bookshelf. or anywhere else. i got some awesome stickers to decorate the boxes with... classy shit. i'm having a real queer eye for the straight guy gay man's decorating tip moment here, people but i cannot find the MATERIALS. i hate that.
anyway, here at the lables/stickers i have. some of them. i have international [24 stickers] and americana [24 stickers]. how cool are they? can you see why i need pretty red boxes with black steel corners?
oh bother.
but i am playing the sims. which means this reality does not exist. and since my blog is in this reality.....
man, i love love love not working.
yesterday we had little xmas party, here at work. i was standing with evildeb, admiring the hors d’ouevres when the coworker who refers to himself as The Man walked up to ask us why were weren’t eating the sauteed oysters. i wasn’t eating them because they are nasty. but what about evildeb?
e.d.: they have stuff in them.
me: flesh. she doesn’t eat meat. she’s a vegetarian again.
e.d.: i used to eat seafood, when i was a vegetarian before.
me: she’s been one before, you know.
e.d.: that’s right. i’ve been one before, you know. it’s my natural state.
the man: what? vegetative?
me: bwahahahaahaha!!
e.d.: that’s not funny.
me: oh yes it is.
occasionally, i like to answer the unasked questions that those of you who have not met evildeb have on your minds, whether you like to admit it, or not. why do i call her EVILdeb? what makes her evil. ladies and gentlemen of the internet, i give you ... exhibit b. evildeb sent this out to a mail list we have here at work, called “mr. snotty.”
anyone who would subject coworkers to this kind of thing has to be evil.
i took the netflix plunge. i’ve put it off for a very long time. i haven’t been watching or renting a lot of movies. i’ve been doing more reading, than anything else. and then i was doing more writing. but lately i’ve been missing movies. i’ve watched almost every movie in my library in since nanowrimo ended. well, i used most of them to procrastinate during nano, actually. but basically, the thing that made me sign up is this. cute boys. i watched a movie on the sundance channel called “particles of truth.” it stars gale harold of queer as folk fame. i had showtime during seasons one and two of that series, but i have not seen season three. it’s due out on februrary 24th. but after watching that movie, i had a dream with gale harold in it. sigh... thank you god or goddess of dreams. anyway, i missed brian kinney... i had not seen QAF since the end of season two. mmmmmm.... brian kinney. i decided i needed to watch seasons one and two again. and i simply cannot make myself go to blockbuster, because i HATE THEM. and i can’t make myself go to hollywood video because i have a $20 late fee balance. plus, it just sounds easier to get them from netflix. i should have the first three discs by monday, they say. right in time for my xmas break. perhaps if start watching seasons one and two of QAF, i can have gale harold dreams EVERY NIGHT!!! *sigh* OH! bonus, spike showed up in my dreams as well.
i desperately need to go home and go back to bed. seriously.
here are the elements of my dreams last night. first of all, i dreamed that between eastern and western washington, there was a rest stop area off the hi-way that featured a group of people selling mattresses at a discount. you could see the mattress from the hi-way itself. piles of them, displayed upon a rock formation. [we are still in eastern/central washington at this point, so things are more dry and arid.] also, while you were there, you could watch this spinal tapesque rockband perform. they would perform outdoors, and sell their own albums, which were indeed vinyl. they were awesome and terribly funny, but i can’t really remember the name. it started with an A. and i had this weird triangular bolt thing, that was part of their band logo, that i took from one of their shows. i ran into david bowie there. kam was with me, and she, too, loved them. later, we climbed the rock formations and pushed the mattresses off the cliff. it was fun.
then, later, i went to my normal laundromat place, were i used to drop off my laundry to be done. [yes, laundry is on my mind.] and all of the sudden, the lights turned off and i was in the dark. a voice came over the pa system telling me they were closing their doors for good. i saw a light coming through a door on the far side of the laundromat that really wasn’t like my laundromat at all, and followed it. i discovered that the laundromat was connected to a huge, modern house. that was built on hill, in seattle. whereas the actual laundromat is located in woodinville. i don’t know...it’s a dream. anyway, this place was under construction, it was beautiful with high cathedral ceilings and plate glass windows with a view of elliot bay. i was walking along planks that were suspended several feet in the air, above lower floors, and exploring the house. i walked through a door and suddenly i was in this crazy club. and it belonged to the crazy spinal tapesque band. i was so excited, i ran right into them. i apologized for being in their house, it was an accident, and then i told them how much i loved them, and showed them the little bolt i had stolen from their show, i wore it on my finger like a ring. they were terribly sorry to tell me that they were breaking up, but i should stay, and enjoy myself. bummer, i loved those guys. suddenly i was in this room, where tiny japanese children were performing in a dance recital for their parents. there were many non japanese parents with their non japanese children there, and the parents were explaining how they, the children, would be starting this dance class tomorrow. the non japanese children didn’t look all that interested. i don’t know why, because this was the most awesome dance class i’d ever seen. the floor upon which they were dancing was bouncy, like a trampoline. and there were different things strewn about the floor, to make noises. the dance itself consisted of the tiny japanese children jumping and running and yelling, making the different objects move and shake and make noises. they were doing an interpretive dance of weather. thunderstorms, and rain and wind.... i think this whole thing was inspired by those rain sticks, that you turn, and seeds fall to the other end - mimicking the sounds of rain. you know what i’m talking about? these kids were doing a lot of jumping. it looked fun. and to get out of the room, i had to cross this floor, which was quite large, and divided into sections, to keep the noise making objects separate. i couldn’t help bouncing to the other side. no one seemed to mind.
and then i was in seattle. with fee and howie and my paternal grandparents. who were in much better health than the truly are, but still rather frail. i had lost my car. we could not find it. i wondered the streets looking for it, hitting they remote on my keys to make it flash it’s headlights and honk the horn. [something that it doesn’t really do, in real life.] it made a lot of cars honk and light up, but none of them were mine. howie decided to go off and look for it, while we sat and had coffee. my grandparents were very tired. we were at this hotel that was called the flamingo. it had several really cool pools. so we decided to check them out. in order to get from one pool, to another, you had to go through a pool. there was no way to walk around them, really. that’s when i discovered that if i walked very quickly, i could basically walk on water. take THAT son of god!! we got to this beautiful hot springs pool that had plants all around, but left a little sky light above. you could feel a soft misty rain fall on your face, which was so delightful with the hot water. while she was walking across it, fee stopped to look up and feel the rain, she paused to long, and therefore fell into the water. you have to keep walking to stay on top of it. it’s ok, tho. because for some reason, we were in bathing suits. now, my grandparents were standing at the edge of the first pool. they knew they couldn’t walk fast enough to stay on top of the water. but some punk kid ran past and pushed my grandma into the pool. some little kid thought he’d save her, and dived in, but in saving her, he was doing a much better job of drowning her, so i dove in and got her. she was unhurt, but wet. so we took her to a beauty parlor and got her hair dried. howie came back and told us he found the car. now, in this dream, howie was often someone else. he was still fee’s husband, but he was some guy i worked with, or someone i used to know, he kept changing. and he was stupid, because when he tried to take us to the car, he couldn’t find it.
that’s when i woke up, thinking my car had been stolen. now please, go ahead and interpret that. and explain the tiny bouncy japanese children to me. [i apologize, as i meant to write this first thing this morning, when there were soooo many delightful details still fresh. but did not have time. now everything has faded and it sounds boring. still.... tiny bouncing japanese children?]
i have a ton of laundry to do. a huge freakin’ ton. most people who know me, know that i have laundry issues, due to the fact that i have no washer and dryer in my apartment. i have to go to the basement. the basement is a busy busy place, and it stresses me out. getting a washer is just part of the problem. washer cycles last for under 30 minutes. dryer cycles last 60 minutes. can you see the problem? you don’t just need a washer, but you need a dryer that’s going to be available in 30 minutes. and there are people out there that don’t care if their laundry is done, and sitting in a washer and dryer. they have better things to do. these are the selfish people. the only thing worse than being caught dragging someone’s dry clothes out of a dryer, is being caught dumping their wet clothes on the folding table, in order to get into the washer. i don’t want other people touching my clothes.. i’m very conscientious about getting downstairs BEFORE the washer or dryer stops. i’m in the minority. anyway, i find the whole thing stressful. i’ve been known to stay up late in order to wash clothes at 1 am. because people who leave their clothes in the dryer at one am are probably not going to come back down that night to take them out. [those people are the worst people in my book. i don’t even try to shake things out and lay them flat on the folding table, i just leave them wadded up in a clothing ball.] i used to drop my laundry off at a laundry place. it’s more expensive than doing it yourself. but it’s sooooo nice... getting all your laundry back clean and folded all pretty. and this guy is an ORIGAMI ARTIST when it comes to folding the fitted sheets. but the IRS stole that joy from my life as well. bastards.
the point is, pretty much everything i wear is dirty. two rooms and part of the hallway are now carpeted with dirty clothes. [it’s kind of nice and cushiony. bouncy. the kitten likes it.] and that’s why i’ve gone to target so many times this week. for clean underwear. and, like the optimistic dope i am, i’ve only purchased one pair at a time. because certainly i will do laundry tomorrow. right? ha! the first pair of underpants i bought are a “boy shorts” style, that ride low on the hips and extend lower on the leg. they are white with strawberries on them. loved them! i’m basically ok with anything as long as it rides lower, on the hips. i hate underwear that rides on your waste. no matter how sexy they might seem in their entirety, they feel like granny pants. the next night, i went back. this time, i decided to replace one of my cheap $10 bras that was falling apart. buying bras for $10 at target is my absolute favorite thing to do. if the only last 3 months, they still do better than the $30 bras i used to have to buy before the surgery. plus, every single style comes in my size. every single one. once i became a c cup, i went right out and bought soft cottony bras that looked like they were made out of tshirts, and yet still had underwire. this was never an option for me with the old boobies. but this night, i decided to go for something different. i bought a pretty satin bra, with lace trim, in a color called “mink.” and the matching boy short pants. the only problem is, the lace... it’s itches. and the underpants do not ride lower enough, they are decidedly TOO close to the waste. but... they are satiny. and they give me a new sensation i’ve never felt before... slinky butt. my butt feels all slinky in my pants. i like it. i still think that they could ride lower, tho. my ass is expansive enough to create the slinky butt sensation without the underpants going up to my waste. i’ve never, in my life, had matching bra and panties. never. it just wasn’t really an option for me before. i wonder if i can just cut the lace off that bra?
so yesterday, i decided to be smart, i bought three new pairs of underpants, bikinis. and low and behold, there was a matching soft cottony, sporty white bra with purple polka dots. so i had to have that too. i’m all about the matching now. i’m wearing it now. mmmm... cottony sport comfort, with matching cuteness. makes me feel all sassy.
i bought a christmas present today. yay me! it's for my mom pattie. it's not a very big one. but that makes.... ummm... two. i have purchased two presents so far. i suck. you know, i was all ready to have christmas spirit this year, i really was. it's been a while. i first lost the christmas spirit in 94, the first christmas after my dad died. he died on jan. 16th, so it had been almost a year. but i went to pennsylvania to be with my stepmom and little brother. and i was so upset, because i was so poor. and there was no dad to buy her anything special. there was no anyone to buy her anything really nice. but like it or not, my most concrete christmas traditions come from my mom's side of the family. and soon, it became a general missing of my father around his birthday, around january 16th, around any holiday. but i got my christmas spirit back.
i lost it again in '99. and this time, i lost it for a long long time. in april of 99 my parents split. my mom pattie and my stepdad ron. my mom, dad, aunt vickie, uncle jim and myself were very very close. we are close to everyone in the family, but the five of use were a separate little core of closeness. my older brother wasn't around enough to understand that closeness. it was really the five of use. we called ourselves the happy shiny "fill in the occasion" family. that came about when i was a junior in high school. jim and vickie were not yet married, but they were living together. mom, ron, vickie and i were driving from oklahoma to colorado, to be with the entire family in grand junction. the car was stuffed to the gills, the vickie and were packed into the back seats, surrounded by pillows and all her christmas craft projects and my books. and i said, "well look at us... aren't we the happy shiny little christmas family?" i probably said it with a bit of teenage sarcasm in it, but the name stuck. and we became the happy shiny family. the happy shiny easter family. the happy shiny graduation party family. the happy shiny moving someone into a new home family. that was us.
but in 99, the happy shiny family broke up. some of us had very little choice in the matter. and it broke our hearts. ok, mine. i'm sure it broke my mom's heart too. christmas of 99, my mom and i went to arizona, to be with mour mour and to just be away from the reminders. they were only separated, at that point, and not yet divorced. that became final at christmas of 2000. the decision to divorce came that fall, up until that moment, i still held onto hope. so it hit me really heard in 2000. every christmas, it hits me. i'm really sad. and i miss the way it used to be. and now i feel i am reliving my childhood, trying to work out times, during the holidays, to see family. family who cannot be around each other. last year, i faked christmas spirit. because that was our first christmas without mour mour. and i knew how sad it would be for my mom and vickie. so i faked it. when in reality, i was immersed in the worst depression of my life.
so, the whole point of this is... this year, i felt i could truly get my christmas spirit back. i looooved christmas. i was ready. i thought this was the year. but i don't feel it. i feel nothing. which is different from previous years, in which i was overwhelmed by the season, and the sadness that came with it, for me. this year... no sadness. no overwhelmed. just... nothing. evildeb says she feels the same way. she keeps adding more decorations to her home, trying to get the spirit. so... maybe there is something wrong with the christmas spirit this year? this is the no fat version? or the vegan version?
or is it just me?
they won't give me my life back. plus, dr. stevil told me that they WILL be converting Makin' Magic to mac format, due for release late january. oh why can't it be done in time for xmas break? that is the perfect expansion pack for me. superstar is ok, i like the new toys. but i just don't care that much about fame.
however, you can get massages in studio city. and i DO care about massages.
today evildeb is "working" from home. and mollymonster, queen of the lip balm, is off. so that leaves me in a pod full of yucky boys. except one of them has recently taken to calling himself The Man. so it's yucky boys and one Man.
did i tell you that evildeb is a vegetarian now? she announced this awhile back. back around my birthday, as a matter of fact. we were talking about ... i don't even know what and all the sudden:
e.d.: i'm a vegetarian
me: what? what are you talking about?
e.d.: i'm a vegetarian now. i've been one before.
me: when did this happen.
e.d.: two days ago. i've been one before you know.
me: and why did you decide to become one again?
e.d.: it's right for me, i don't like killing animals. i've been one before you know.
me: yes, you've said that before as well. i don't know, deb... NOT wanting to kill animals isn't very evil.
e.d.: yes it is. being a vegetarian makes me more difficult. more difficult to feed.
me: excellent point. you're right. you are a giant pain in the ass now. it IS evil.
e.d.: i've been one before, you know.
me: shut up.
*few minutes later....
me: was it the bee?
e.d.: what?
me: was it the bee that turned you veggie? i bet it was the bee.
e.d.: *sigh* no. it wasn't the bee. i've been one before, you know.
me: shut up.
as i mentioned in my earlier post, today, i went to the apple store and fondled the latest expansion pack for the sims, on the mac. superstar. the thing is, people kind of look at you funny if you fondle software. they are fine if you fondle the hardware, that's to be expected. have you seen how cute the 12" powerbook is? so, they were looking at me funny, and i had to buy it.
a little background about the lanes
the lanes are brother and sister, parker and jane. their father is a rich international business tycoon. their mother was an actress, beautiful and talented, she was worshipped by all. she stepped out of the limelight when she married mr. lane, had two kids and then died. so sad. anyway, so parker and jane live together. parker thinks he lives with jane because she needs someone to look out for her. she's sweet and shy and beautiful. she's had a few gold digging bastards break her heart. in reality, jane is living with parker at the request of her father. parker's a flake, tends to get involved with dicey business ventures with shady characters. loses a great deal of money. stuff like that.
parker and jane have a dog named buddy. cute dog! but one day, they noticed he just didn't get enough attention. he was always under socialized. so they got him a friend, sasha. another cute dog. buddy thought sasha was the bee's knees and it wasn't long before they were snuggling. lo and behold, they had a puppy! the puppy is currently dans le bassinet. you can't see it. we don't even know what gender it is, nor does it have a name. i guess it takes puppies and kittens three sim days to mature, just like a sim baby. i don't know, this is my first attempt at sim pet breeding.
last night i went to the mall, on my way home from work, to pick up the latest sims expansion pack for the mac, superstar, and fondle it at the apple store. as i was walking through nordstrom, i was thinking about my paternal grandparents, and what i could possibly get them for xmas. they live in sun city arizona, in an assisted living apartment. they are in their late 80's, and not well. grandma pulls an oxygen tank around with her, because she's got emphysema, and she has trouble reading due to glaucoma. also, she's a bit loopy now. earlier this year, she got very sick, and it was determined she was not drinking enough water, she was very dehydrated. we can barely get her to drink teaspoons!! granddad has a bum need to arthritis, and his mobility is cut down to the point of needing a walker for short distances, and an electric cart for longer distances. he's in constant pain, but can't have surgery because he wouldn't survive it. yesterday, he fell and went back into the hospital. he didn't break anything, but he can't put weight on that leg, so they are going to do an mri today. faye, my stepmom, says that i wouldn't even recognize him, he just seems lost most of the time.
this january, we are coming up on the 10 year anniversary of my father's death. their son. and i think that's what really did them in. they never seemed to recover from it. my dad and stepmom were very very close to my grandparents. and this wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. for any of us. he wasn't supposed to go before them. and he wasn't supposed to go when my little brother was only 12. and he definitely wasn't supposed to leave before he could retire and travel the world with faye. and he wasn't supposed to leave me. but he did. and it really took the wind out of my grandparents sails.
how do you buy a xmas present for people in this stage of life? they can't do anything ... they are too limited or in too much pain. is it bad to almost wish they could lay down, on their little twin beds and just be out of pain and sadness? that when they go, they go together, in their sleep, and in peace?
hey!
loon made her own christmas quiz... you should take it.
You're a doggy chew toy. You're durable, rubbery
and get chewed on a lot. Well, two out of three
ain't bad.
What Sucky Christmas Present Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
gotta love those stickmen!
since lisa commented on my sucky book entry in the form of a rebuttal, i feel i must reply to her in the same manner.
"Jodi, you ignorant slut.
"The Hunger" (1983) was first a novel by Whitley Strieber but was also a kick-ass movie staring Catherine Deneuve, David Bowie and Susan Sarandon, and Cate and David were VAMPIRES! Also, there's a super cool scene of Sarandon and Deneuve making out. Dude, any movie where David Bowie is playing a vampire is double plus good with me. Even more fun is the opening scene which features a Goth club, in which the young Goths are being hunted by vamps, and Bauhaus is singing "Bella Lugosi's Dead" live at the club.
Sadly, this movie is not available from Netflix, but if you find it at the local video store, check it out."
did i not mention it was a movie? i believe i did. it matters not to me that it's a movie. i am talking about the book here. and the book SUCKED ASS. i'm sorry, it did. i could barely stand it. i skipped a huge part of the middle, and skimmed the last third. i wouldn't say it's the worst book i've ever read, that was probably The Shipping News. at least, it's the book that made me actually scream, "this book sucks so hard!" in reality, the shipping news won awards and was also made into a movie. but the book was painful. and i threw it into the woods while camping, in hopes that a bear would come along and use it for toilet paper. i probably would have done the same thing with the hunger, except it was a library book. thankfully. which means none of my hard earned money was wasted on it.
just because it has vampires in it, doesn't mean it's good.
i'm a very intelligent slut, i'll have you know
so, my new thing is... i want to be telekinetic. i used to want to be clairvoyant. or maybe read minds. but, i really don't care that much about other people's opinions anymore. wheeee! it's so freeing. now i just want to be able to move really big shit with my mind. i started thinking about this about two weeks ago, when i went to the barnes and noble in crossroads center. there was a big ol' fuck off truck, a dodge ram i think, and it was taking up not one, not two, not even three, but four parking spots. and that just pisses me off so much! it's so freaking rude! i just wanted to pick up his truck and move to the other side of the shopping center. or the roof of the shopping center. something. you know? and since then, i see dozens of reasons every day why i need to be telekinetic.
so this is my question... if you are telekinetic, can you fly? because, if you can move things with your mind, you could probably pick yourself up and move yourself in a flying type direction, right? because i would so love to be able to fly, as well. that would rule.
i've been listening to this internet radio station, through iTunes lately, called The Green Lounge. which plays "space age, latin, torch singers, exotica, acid jass, balladiers, las vegas lounge." and no commercials. it doesn't interfere too much with my working or writing. i like it. you kind of have to understand that a lot of this music i grew up with, having musicians in the family. but the best part is, sometimes they will have some song played on an organ, no singing. and it totally reminds me of my grandmother grace, and her organ. which she used to play all these old songs, with all the extra bells and whistles and foot pedals. i was so sad when she had to sell the organ, when they moved into an assisted living apartment. it was a classic from the early 70's at least. maybe even late 60's. it was HUGE. if i could have afforded to ship it up from arizona, i would have taken it. too kitsch! talk about your space age latin lounge music. i'll try to find a picture of it and post it up here.
thanks to judes...
You are smart and sexy!
Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Your element is Air. You are an artistic person
with a unique sense of style. You are
intelligent; although prone to wonder in
thought which, prevents you from paying full
attention to most things, constantly active and
most likely like to sing. Constantly moving the
air is a force of nature. One moment you can be
a breeze the next a tornado.
What's your element
brought to you by Quizilla
Post-Hypnotized Peter
What Office Space character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
since you asked, i shall tell you which books sucked. one of them was not available to me on the allconsuming.net list. it's called "the hunger" by whitley streiber. or strieber. can't remember. anyway, this book was made into a movie a long time ago. with catherine deneuve, for pete's sake. but it's baaaad. it's just poorly written. it's ... disjointed. i don't know any other way to discribe it. and the reactions of the characters is like ... i kept thinking to myself "hey... people don't have emotins this stilted and random. robots don't even have emotions this abrutive and chaotic." it was herky jerky. maybe it's supposed to be that way. maybe it's "stylized" and i'm supposed to be on edge. but i was really just annoyed. besides, this author also wrote a book about his real life alien abduction. so maybe that's what is really going on here. he didn't write the book, aliens took over his body and wrote the book. which is why i kept saying to myself "what the fuck is going on? why is she freakin' out like that? and what the hell is getting so mad about? what's wrong with these people?" hmmmmm.....
the other book is on my completed bookslist and it's called "harm none." i just felt like i had wiccan PR poured over me like syrup when i was done. and i am someone who finds alternative religion fascinating!!
i jinxed myself last week. when i was leaving work on friday, i had all these plans for the weekend. projects i wanted to work on and such. and i had a list of things i wanted to talk about, here. i even remember telling someone, in an email, that i found blogging to be addictive. which it is. and then i got home and ... nothing. i had less than no inspiration. i couldn't even get near my computer. i tried to write something a couple of times this weekend and i had bupkis. zero zilch nada.
so i read some books. and the last two books i read, or tried to read, sucked so much, that i lost my taste for THAT! which left me bored.
the following is a PSA conversation between myself and my cousin kirsten:
scene: the cheesecake factory. kirsten and i are both eating the lemon raspberry cream cheese cake. this is a layer of lemon cake, then cheesecake, then another layer of lemon cake, and the whole thing is smothered in raspberry sauce.
kirsten: oh my god....
me: mmmphmbmm.....
kirsten: mmphbosfmmm!
me: this is SO GOOD!
kirsten: so incredibly good.
me: i cannot believe how good this is... and i almost didn't chose this flavor! sooo soo uberdelightful good.
kirsten: it's so fucking good that you have to swear to tell how good it is.
me: uhh... ok... swear to who?
which means she took quizzes, which means i'm taking quizzes. which means YOU get to take quizzes too.
STAND UP: You are a natural stand-up comedian. You
watch the news with people, and when you give
your opinions, people start laughing. They are
not laughing at you, they are laughing because
what you say is so TRUE. The world is a very
funny place, full of natural comedy. All you do
is repeat various humorous things that you
notice from everyday life. Your unique
perspective on the world is what makes you so
funny. Of all the various comedy types, you may
be the funniest of them all!
How funny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I did it in 3 seconds.
I deserved an A++!!
Take the How Dexterous Are You? Quiz!!
although, to be fair, my first score was a B+.
this is just something to tide you over until i have time to play...
click to enlarge the picture of the most defeated cat ever.
bonjour bébés digitaux!
so i'm back at work now. well, i've been back since tuesday. and, true to form, i'm completely lost. as far as i was concerned, my job was now to lounge on the couch and read, or sit at my computer and write. oh, and sleep in and eat pumpkin pie. that was my job. and then i came back here. there is no couch in my cube, but there is a bean bag chair. but people keep asking me to do things. asking me questions and wondering when i am going to be able to get to this or get to that. so not a lot of time for writing. and there is no pie anywhere. i have managed to sleep in, more about that later.
but it's not all bad, kids! the most amazing thing happened to my workplace while i was gone. my first day back, i immediately went offsite on a field trip. walked in the door and 15 minutes later was walking back out again. i walked into central services to get a bev for the road and GUESS WHAT!! they've added new soda pop flavors! previously it had been coke, diet coke, caffeine free diet coke, root beer, 7-up regular and diet and ginger ale. well now there is also pepsi and diet pepsi [which i like better than diet coke] and DR. PEPPER and DIET DR. PEPPER!! yes! it's true. after nearly five years here, they finally came to their senses. i think everyone around me is worried that our stock price will go down due to losses felt by the incredible volume of free dr. pepper i will consume. but i'm working on the water thing. so they need not worry. i'll only have a can or two a day. unless it's a bad day. or friday. or monday.
i need to conduct une petite survey for my friend mollymonster. please to tell me if you are a fan of lip balm. and if so, what's your favorite brand. and if you feel like it, you can say why it's your favorite brand. i'm a huge fan of the lip balm. i always have some with me. molly wants to open a little web store. i'm going to be in R&D. maybe R&D&R. research, development and review. but i will probably not really develop anything. so maybe i am just R&R. which is rest and relaxation. which is fine with me! my title is lip balm scientist. i like being a scientist. BACK OFF MAN, i'm a lip balm scientist. so, anyway, please answer my lip balm questions. it will bring you good karma, and i will think happy thoughts on behalf of you as well. thanks for your support.
from judes
