faster pussycat... type! type!

this song goes out to fee. it's called "digging my potato." seriously. that's what it's called.

Posted by jodi at 10h25 | Permalink | Comments (2)

i'm so happy i decided to be a fan of The Rock.

there's gonna be some goooood punchin' and fightin' and 'splosions in this here film.

Posted by jodi at 11h49 | Permalink

ok, i really do not mean for this to be a regular feature here. but, since i am in all kinds of bad moods... STILL... it would appear that i need to look on the sunny side of the fuckin' street. AGAIN. whatever.

fifty more things i am grateful for

1. that i have a mac, and don't have to worry about 99% of the asinine computer viruses sent out.
2. egg mcmuffins.
3. squishy's airport extreme card.
4. the lovely flowers my dept sent me.
5. calendars with tabby cat pictures.
6. yoshimi, my japanese girl piggy bank.
7. caller ID
8. cowboy bebop
9. my franklin-covey® brain
10. bubble baths
11. the sims.
12. potatoes
13. the soap
14. caffeine.
15. bereavement time off
16. the PetMate Litter Locker
17. the Yoga for Dummies DVD.
18. two button mice with scroll wheels.
19. the beanbag chair in my cube.
20. even numbers
21. the smell of oranges.
22. sneakers
23. anna using Net Send in the command line, yesterday in training, to make a message pop up on my screen that read "smiling's my favorite"
24. netflix
25. that i have not killed anyone in a fit of rage and been sentenced to life in prison.
26. the human nervous system.
27. dictionaries.
28. chocolate.
29. my sage colored nalgene water bottle with sipping attachment.
30. the delete button.
31. brightly colored sticky pads.
32. lemons and lemon flavored things.
33. black extra fine sharpie pens.
34. purring
35. the smell of crayons.
36. lola, the sparkling gold princess comfort cruiser.
37. my mom
38. curse words.
39. clean underwear.
40. jamba juice, with a special shout out to the two enthusiastic gentlemen who served me my strawberry tsunami this afternoon.
41. pajamas. [thanks for the reminder, romy]
42. las vegas.
43. bubble baths
44. dolphins
45. the flip fold
46. the purple chair
47. my gender
48. electricity
49. naps
50. massages

i'd be more grateful for massages if i were actually getting one right now, tho...

Posted by jodi at 12h19 | Permalink | Comments (5)

one of my favorite things for dinner, that i will make myself is three or four cheese ravioli with butter and lemon pepper. and by "make myself" i mean i will by the ravioli in the refrigerated pasta section of the grocery store. cook it and then put butter and lemon pepper on it. lemon pepper rules. it makes everything that is savory taste better. anyway, this weekend i found raviolietti. i didn't know they made such a thing! baby tiny ravioli! how cute is that? way cute. it's what's for dinner tonight!

blog correction: i am about to get my SIXTH boss. i've only had five since i started at my present place of employment who shall remain nameless for the sake of job security.

Posted by jodi at 17h41 | Permalink | Comments (2)

i'm in the mother of all bad moods. any number of things are contributing to it. all manner of things. anyway, i'm hiding out. i booked a small conference room for an hour and took squishy and my airport connection on the road. it's almost like having an office. i wish i had an office. i'm losing my boss soon. we are hiring a new manager, and my current boss, who is currently doing the work of three people, will now only have to do the work of 1.5. in the process, one of the responsibilities she is shedding, is the responsibility for me. which, i am sure, is upsetting to her. i should ask her to get me an office before she relinquishes control over me. somehow, i doubt the rest of the team would like that. but i don't really care about them, now, do i? no. the idea of getting a new boss is bothersome to me because it upsets the dynamic. i don't like it when my personal or professional dynamics are upset. i don't trust new people. even tho, it always turns out fine, at this stage in the game, i don't like it. nope. not one bit. i don't trust him. or her. i don't know who it is because they are ENTIRELY NEW to me. they have not even been hired. they've only been NARROWED DOWN. therefore, they are ENTIRELY UNTRUSTWORTHY. you can see the logic. what if they have no sense of humor? what if they don't get me? what if they are no fun? what if they wear too much perfume. or hate cats? WHAT IF THEY ARE VEGAN? the whole thing is very disturbing and i'm just not going to be able to cope with it.

despite all of that, the fact that i am getting a new boss is NOT what is putting me in the mother of all bad moods. that only came up because i want my own office instead of a cube. this is more feasible than you think. as past RIF's have left us with a surplus of empty offices. they should just give me one. and re: the new boss, well i'm used to them. what with the curse and all. long story. basically, i have a boss curse. which, until i started here at this company, meant if you were my boss, you would quit or be fired within the year. happened to everyone. even people who had worked for the company for 20 years. i have 25+ bosses, i think, in the 8 years before i started here? anyway, when i started here, the good karma of the company changed to curse to be that you simply moved into a different positions, after being my boss. i've worked here almost five years and i've had 6 bosses. two of those were at the same time, tho. i'm about to receive my 7th. only 4 of them remain with the company. one left of her own accord. and one was laid off, but way way way after being my boss. it wasn't my fault!!! she doesn't blame me!! usually, you move on to a BETTER position than being my boss. so ti's not a bad thing.

i have 4 hours of tedious, horrible, mandatory training this afternoon. it will probably suck out what remains of my soul. we should all be happy that i am taking bereavement off this week, in order to replenish.

Posted by jodi at 10h43 | Permalink

well it's been a productive evening so far. i've changed 3 out of the five dead lightbulbs in my house. i would have done all five, but i am now officially out of new lightbulbs.

i think i'll play some sims.

apparently i screwed up by going into work today. i coudl have played the sympathy card, as several people asked me why i came in in the first place. oh dopey me.

Posted by jodi at 17h26 | Permalink

so... not much has been going on. that is to say, i haven't been very observant of the world around me. which gives me very little to comment on, here. granddad passed away yesterday morning. i am still waiting to hear the details about the funeral, to know when i will be going to arizona. so i am at work today. however, my mind is not really on my job, i have to admit. i'm very sad. i'm sad that granddad is gone, and grandma is alone. i'm sad that granddad had to live so long, when the last few years have been nothing but debilitating and painful. i'm sad i don't have my father around, last friday marked the 10 year anniversary of his death. i'm sad i had to call a sibling and inform him of his grandfather's death, when in reality, that side of the family has basically severed ties with him. i'm sad the same sibling is no longer sober. i'm angry, actually, that he's no longer sober. but that's a story for another day.

so, i'm all wrapped up in my emotions. and since i don't feel like spilling all my sadness all over everyone, i am just reading books.

but, tell me what you think of this. i'm halfway thinking of driving to phoenix. it's a two day drive, basically. that's four total days of driving. here's why. i'm sick of the airport. it pisses me off. the amount of effort it takes to go anywhere is so frustrating and annoying and tiresome. the idea of having to go through it, just feels so draining. whereas, the idea of driving, well that appeals to me. i like to drive. it's meditative. i like thinking. i like seeing things around me. i like singing along to the tunes. i like the idea of having my own car in phoenix, without having to rent one. i like the fact that you can bring whatever your trunk can hold. you don't have to cram things into a suitcase. if you can't decide what shoes to bring, bring a trunkload of 'em. i don't know.... i just think it would be good for me. somehow. some people have looked at me funny when i've brought this up. i'm open to opinions either way. so tell me what you think.

Posted by jodi at 11h39 | Permalink | Comments (2)

this is where i started... move your mouse over the bears to play with them. but the real reason i'm posting this ... you could explore this site for hours. i'm sure of it. click on the swirly down below the bears when you are ready to move on.

Posted by jodi at 17h01 | Permalink | Comments (2)

granddad has developed congestive heart failure. he is in a hospice where they can keep him comfortable. he's doped up on massive amounts of morphine. he cannot swallow and hasn't eaten since friday. they have not given him a feeding tube because, at this point, they are simply helping him pass on with the least amount of pain. his lungs are full of fluid, and it's an effort to breath. the only liquid he takes is when my stepmom dribbles water in his mouth so he can talk. basically, we are looking at mere hours here.

so, you know, life is kinda no fun for me right now. i was talking to my mom last night, about her younger sister, who is having a hard time. and going through .... ummm... the change. anyway, she's pretty massively unhappy and depressed. so my mom told her to make a list of 50 things she was grateful for. "fifty things?" i asked, "you are quite the task master." and afterwards, my aunt felt better. she is my moür moür's daughter, and therefor used to the life motto "there are people who have it worse off than me." i'm sure this list of things to be grateful for is an oprah thing. but nonetheless, in the face of recent events, i am going to now list off 50 things i am grateful for, because i'm well too aware of the things i am not so happy about. so, in no specific order, here are 50 things i am grateful for.

1. prudence.
2. my job
3. the company i work for.
4. squishy
5. my oral health. [i have strong teeth.]
6. my green eyes.
7. my breast reduction
8. the uberbrain
9. the internet
10. the fact i don't have to have roommates
11. my independence.
12. tivo
13. dr. pepper.
14. the free soda pop here at work.
15. soft core porn.
16. my cello
17. my computer [at home]
18. my family
19. my mom. she gets a special shout out.
20. movies
21. amazon.com
22. lola the sparkling gold princess comfort cruiser
23. my sense of humor
24. the ability to cross only one eye at a time.
25. my therapist
26. antidepressants.
27. barnes and noble
28. my love of reading, and books in general.
29. my friends.
30. living in the seattle area.
31. my ability to parallel park.
32. the fact that my older brother is scared of me.
33. prolab, for laying me off and getting me out of there.
34. rain
35. my skills in setting up my own home theatre system.
36. my skills at trivial pursuit.
37. my gigantic brain.
38. my blog.
39. anyone who reads my blog. [awwww... hugs!] [[that was sarcasm. i am grateful for you, but i probably won't hug you.]]
40. good friends who read and recommend good books to me.
41. music.
42. the 5.5 years i had with the B.
43. my ability to live alone.
44. cheese.
45. baked lays.
46. those new little heaty pads you can attach to the front of your underwear when you get cramps.
47. the library.
48. the wind.
49. water.
50. getting out of oklahoma while i was still young.

there you go. way to focus on the positive aspects of life. right?

Posted by jodi at 17h26 | Permalink | Comments (5)

my stepmonster [and i say that with great affection] has sent me an update about my paternal grandparents. after my father died, 10 years ago last friday, my stepmother stayed in PA for a while, then moved to denver, and eventually phoenix. my grandparents are living in sun city, and she basically takes care of them. their only other child, my uncle jerry, lives in LA, and he is there frequently. but it's basically my stepmom who watches over them. she's been a saint, really. although i doubt she'd agree, because she's so tired and frustrated. [saints don't get tired and frustrated.] but to me she is. here is an clip of what's up with granddad:

At Christmas, I didn't think he was going to make it through the night a couple times but he rebounded. He's pretty much lost what was left of his mind now, however.

Yesterday when I was up there, he was in his wheel chair, which he can actually push himself around in. He was out in the hall and kept telling me he had gotten a hair cut but had walked out and hadn't paid for it so he needed to go pay the barber. (I'll point out here that his hair hasn't been cut in months and even though he's bald on top, the sides were sticking out all over the place.) He wheeled himself down to some old ladies room and was sitting in the hall yelling at her "how much do you charge for haircuts?"

I pointed out that this was not the barber shop and he insisted it was. Then he says, "well, she's not too busy today. There's no one here. She must be a crappy barber or there'd be more people here."

Later, we had gotten him back into bed and I was sitting in his wheel chair talking to him. He said he needed a new wheel chair because this one was too small. In making small talk, I said it fit me pretty good. He says, "well, okay. I guess I won't call you fat ass anymore."

Gee, thanks, Grandad!!

i wish i could go down and help her... it looks like he will be released to a care facility soon. i hope he and grandma can be together again, as she is not as loopy as he is. but still quite loopy. she talks to me about my "uncle don" who died 10 years ago all the time. reminding me who my stepmother is, my uncle don's wife. stuff like that. plus, she apparently is also loopy enough to believe all the loopy things my granddad tells her. her called her from the hospital telling her that someone had left him at the dentist and he needed someone to come pick him up. sigh.

my stepmom asked me to shot her if she ever gets that senile. and i think i will agree to it. unless ... maybe being senile is fun?

Posted by jodi at 11h12 | Permalink | Comments (3)

what's your cowboy bebop theme song?

Which Cowboy Bebop character are you?

Posted by jodi at 16h42 | Permalink

evildeb is drinking creme bruille flavored coffee. it makes the whole pod smell like waffles with maple syrup. technically, i could go upstairs and get a waffle with maple syrup. as it's waffle friday. but i already ate.

mmmmm..... waffles.

Posted by jodi at 9h34 | Permalink

my aunt vickie is throwing an engagement party for my mom and bob. it has a secret theme. i feel fairly confident in telling you this theme, as my family does not read this blog. because i haven’t told them about it. except for josh. anyway, the theme is to come dressed as a member of the wedding party. bride, groom, best man, children of the bride... whatever. you are too be creative in your costuming. now, i figure, i can come as a child of the bride quite easily. i could pull that off better than anyone. except maybe my older brother. however, i bet its specific to a child of the bride attending the wedding. forget that. i’m not going to get all dressed up to look like me all dressed up. so here is what i think i should wear.... i’m going to be a bride. i want to find a big tulle skirt, even a ballet skirt would do, as long as it’s white. then i am going to wear my doc martin’s [black] and maybe my white and red striped witchy poo socks. then, i will wear a white baby doll shirt i have that says, in small black courier print “my cat hates you.” and then the ubiquitous veil. sound pretty? i think so.

Posted by jodi at 20h17 | Permalink | Comments (3)

hello dear internet friends. today, while i drink my chai tea at cafe ladro, i will share with you my recipe for a great day off. [i took yesterday off]

first, make sure its raining torrents of rain. this is important, because you are going to have a lot of driving to do, all over town, and you are going to want traffic to slow down to a crawl. make many many appointments, spanning the entire day. this is where the rain comes in, to interfere with the delicate dance that is your schedule for the day.

your first appointment is going to set the tone for the day, so do the most depressing and humbling task first. might i suggest meeting with a lawyer to discuss filing bankruptcy? if possible, pick chapter 13 bankruptcy. in a chapter 13, not all of your debt is wiped away. they go over your budget, and all the money you owe, and decide how much you can apply to your debts. they can force banks to give you a fair market interest rate on your car loan, if you don’t have one. they can fix it so the IRS will not charge you any more fees or penalties. they can lower the interest rate on everything, and wipe out some kinds of debts. however, what they will also do is take HUGE chunks of your paychecks, to apply to the debts they believe you could pay. this continues on for a fix period of time, let us just say, hypothetically, 4 and a half years. they will leave you NO extra money for savings, saving is not an option. neither is fun. or luxury of any kind.

wait, did i mention that the lawyer should be located as far away as feasible, while still staying within your county? look for a lawyer in bum fuck egypt. miss your next appointment due to the length of the appointment with the lawyer. barely make the appointment after that.

go home for 40 minutes and fall on your bed. contemplate your total life suckage. figure out how old you will be when the bankruptcy is over. instantly start feeling your age. go ahead and get a splitting headache. you deserve it!

go to your third and final appointment with your general physician. make it for a check up. make sure it includes a pap smear. because without it, you will not suffer enough humiliation to truly make this the most special day off ever.

if you do it right, the above can take you pretty much the entire day. enjoy!!

Posted by jodi at 20h10 | Permalink | Comments (3)

loon has made me very happy, because she is going to read Tanya Huff's Summon the Keeper. i keep telling people how funny it is, and how they should read it. but no one will listen to me. *sigh* it's their loss. but not loon's!

the problem with christmas is this... you get used to buying stuff. nonessential things. pretty things. gifty things. things that you don't really need. then, when christmas is over, it's very difficult to stop that trend. and i think you must keep that in mind when i tell you what i did over the christmas holiday. i bought The Soap. the soap , as you may remember, is the $34 black japanese soap i first read about on pamie.com and then later at weetabix. and i was powerless against it! i couldn't help it! it's a "vision of pure beauty!" or maybe it's a "pure vision of beauty," i don't know. promises were made, hype was spread and i bought into it. i'm weak.

i've been using The Soap for about a week and a half now, and let me say this, it's some damn fine soap. i have yet to determine if it's worth $34, i think i need to give it a couple of weeks. but my skin is smooth and the tone is even and pretty. it has a slightly funny smell. it sorta makes me sneeze. but other than that, so far i think it has big potential don't worry, kids.. i'll keep you updated on my progress with the soap. you know i will.

Posted by jodi at 16h04 | Permalink | Comments (4)

today, in a meeting, during a particularly confusing conference call, evildeb was sketching out tattoos. i asked her to design one for me a long time ago... a bunny. after the B died. she sketched out a cat and a bunny. she said they need work. but i think they are really striking the way they are. i especially like the cat.

Posted by jodi at 20h02 | Permalink | Comments (7)

my new 12" apple powerbook has arrived! it's cute as a bug. and yes, her name shall be squishy. i'm customizing her as we speak. i cannot believe how adorable she is. i must go out and buy her accessories right now. even tho, squishy is a work machine.

sorry so quiet. been busy busy. i'm sure i will write later... from squishy.

Posted by jodi at 17h23 | Permalink | Comments (1)

occupants of hell are ice skating today... for the unthinkable has happened... i have found an anime show that i like! i mean really like. as in "ok tivo... record this whenever it's on, please" like. *sigh* i'm a little ashamed.

it's called The Big O. sounds naughty, huh?

Posted by jodi at 18h49 | Permalink | Comments (2)

sooo bad

Posted by jodi at 11h40 | Permalink

and it's lovely. i'm working on a little thing right now for you. so exciting. it's all about me, of course. and why wouldn't it be? myblogmyblogmyblog. no, actually, i am just writing out the results of my tarot card reading on new year's day. complete with pictures. i did it myself! the reading, not the pictures. anyway, doing that right now, it'll be up later. i'm enjoying the snow fall outside my window.

Posted by jodi at 14h15 | Permalink | Comments (2)

i don't care what operating system you have, just go here and download iTunes. and if you have a spare 8 fuckin' dollars, launch iTunes, and download the Joss Stone Soul Sessions album. do it now and thank me later. or actually, thank joss. fucking little british teenager sings like nobody's business.

8 fuckin' dollars!! can i get an amen, people?

Posted by jodi at 19h15 | Permalink | Comments (2)

i moved my desk. it now faces out, towards the living room and the windows, instead of the corner. my desk is comprised of a heavy wooden door, resting on two oak cabinets. it's a btich to move. the door is on the edge of being something that is too heavy for me to handle alone. it's toooo heavy and too big. but... i just tie a towel around my neck alá supergirl and do it. anyway, i just got the electronics hooked up, and was sitting here in a not so comfortable dining room chair, catching up on emails and shit, and after about 45 minutes, i moved to stand ... and everything hurts. everything would not hurt on supergirl.

Posted by jodi at 2h12 | Permalink

so i'm moving stuff around in casita di hodi. that is, sometimes, the only way to get me to to truly clean, once things reach a certain level of disarray. that level often is referred to as "chaos," by some. some who are unenlightened. my feng shui may not be good feng shui, but it's mine. nonetheless, i can recognize when the energies are blocked. and i think there is some energy that's been stuck under my "dining room" table for some months. plus, my desk's been facing this corner for years now, and i'm sort of over it. you know? so over the past three days, i have been moving stuff around. slowly. it takes a long time for me to do stuff like this. first of all, i usually watch movies while i do it. one minute, i am, with great trepidation, discovering what lives under the cushions of my couch, and the next minute... i'm watching The Goonies. it didn't hurt that santa brought me the indiana jones collectors edition, complete with 4th dvd full of extra details and goodies i needed to know. i want to marry indiana jones!! but i'm not alone. find me a straight girl, who is within a ten year age radius of ... me, who doesn't want to marry him. i also watched "secretary" with maggie gyllhalaidfhaslfallen. i think that's how you spell her last name. i'd look it up BUT MY INTERNET IS STILL DOWN. bastards.

but here is my message to you, today. if you have not yet seen it, watch "whale rider." especially if you are female girl type person. and if you are a girl type person who is somehow related to my paternal lineage, i must INSIST that you watch it. just so you can say to yourself "ahhh... yes, pai... i know. foolish men who don't recognize the value of a daughter." *cough* sorry. sharing too much. but even if you are not a girl person, or related to me, watch this movie. it's beautiful and haunting and lovely and moving. and it's got WHALES!! whales rock. i'm a huge fan of the marine mammal group. the soundtrack is stunning. and i am so happy it was available on the iTunes music store, because i bought it, and i am going to spend many hours sitting and staring at a flickering candle, while listening to this music. otherwise known as "meditating." seriously, it's a lovely movie. and i'm convinced i must live in new zealand for at least 12 straight months at some point in my life. [hopefully writing a book.] anyone wanna come with me? if my internet were up, i'd be researching it right now. i wonder if there is some quarantine period pru would have to go through first?

Posted by jodi at 13h37 | Permalink | Comments (3)

dammit. i wanted to write many witty things about my adventures during my holiday vacation. not that i had any. but i had three different types of family drama, from three different branches. some funny. some not at all funny, but rather sad and tragic. fodder. i had the mad race to finish up whatever it was i felt was important, before i left work for the rest of the year. items that i can't remember now, for a job that i forgot how to do by the end of the day on the 25th. fodder. all of my last minute shopping. the fact that i completely forgot to buy by older brother a present until 9:30 pm on the 23rd, only to find out later he wasn't going to participate in christmas this year. more fodder. the beautiful snow we had on the evening of the 30th, my late night driving and partial donuts driven in the parking lot of top foods in crossroads shopping center. frozen fodder. my unshakable subconscious belief i had won the the mega million lottery 150 million dollar jackpot, that manifested itself in a compulsive need to drive through some of my favorite older neighborhoods and stop at the houses for sale. houses that no one in my social or familial circle could afford. tree lined fodder. and my traditional apathetic non recognition of new years. home alone with dvd fodder.

but instead, i started moving furniture and going through boxes and drawers and piles. of crap. my crap. i can be a very hermatic, internally focused little girl, when left alone. and blog fodder has a limited shelf life, people. if you don't refrigerate it, it goes bad quickly. right now, my fridge is full of crap. like red rounds of gouda cheese, hickory farms turkey stick, kozy shack rice pudding, snapple peach iced teas and diet dr. peppers. don't go to top foods late at night when you are hungry, kids. you end up with party food, fancy crackers, tiny breads, tins of almond roca, and no kitty litter.

i still have three more days of vacation. so who's to say i can't scrape something entertaining together before it ends? i am thinking of going to ikea tomorrow.

ps: as i am about to copy and paste this text from Text Edit [spell check] to MoveableType [no spell check] i have discovered that my internet connection is down. i finally have something to post, and i am denied. bugger all.

Posted by jodi at 12h44 | Permalink