faster pussycat... type! type!

Someone is parked in my reserved parking spot. This is a huge pet peeve for me. Nothing will send me into a white hot rage quicker than someone parking in my parking spot. I'm a very competitive parker. And by "white hot rage" I mean I said something like "OOOoooo! I'm so pissed! I am SO VERY ANGRY." There is a note on their windshield, I'll tell you what. So today's theme is justice. Because when I took the garbage out a few minutes ago THEY WERE STILL PARKED THERE!

If There Was Justice In The World
"It's so small. Look at it."
"I know, I think it will fit in the recycle bin, do you want a hand lifting it?"
"It's so tiny.... it was my car and now it's so tiny."
"Well, next time DON'T PARK IN JODI'S PARKING SPOT!"

Posted by jodi at 19h51 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Today's 50 Word fiction theme is division. Maybe because I just watched the Wedding Crashers, again, the other day. Also based on a conversation Wil and I had about divorce.

Long Division

They were attempting to be civil. 50/50 down the line; they'd both contributed to the household. Nobody could really quantify.
"In adherence to the spirit of the agreement, air miles will be split in half. Next... the cats."
"I want the front halves!"
"Great, stuck with the butts. Again"

Posted by jodi at 10h36 | Permalink | Comments (3)

The garbage men were sarcastic and rude to me today. And I was left with no sassy comeback, after a frustrating hour in traffic. Nothing is more frustrating than a missed opportunity of sassiness. So the theme is rudeness.

Also, I would just like to thank Jack for playing along with me each and every week. Even if I forget for a while, next time I play FiWoFic, Jack is there to play along. Thanks, Jack!

What The Encounter With The Garbage Men Would Have Been Like if I Were My WoW Character.
"You know, just a reminder, there ARE two entrances to this building," said the burly sanitation engineer. His obviously pea-brained buddy laughed.

Her tiger took care of the sidekick, while she aimed her bow at the first.

"You know, just a reminder, nobody likes a smart aleck."

THWING! FWUMP!

Posted by jodi at 15h22 | Permalink | Comments (2)

This weeks theme came from a cheesy song I heard in the grocery store. Something about being more than a broken heart. It stuck in my head. So if you want to play, that's your challenge.

Alone
"Are you going to tell him?"
"He's gone."
"You know, if this isn't good news, there are options we can discuss."
Instantly protective, I placed a hand over my stomach and shook my head. Smiled just a little.I guess I'm more than a broken heart now.

Posted by jodi at 13h37 | Permalink | Comments (2)

I don't know why the theme is hitchiking. Probably because I could not sleep last night, and for some reason "Every Day is a Winding Road" by Sheryl Crow kept going through my head. And not in a good way.

Use What You've Got, Kid
She stared at him from across the highway. Heading east, cars whipped past him, ignoring his request for a ride. As the truck approached, heading west, she stuck out a leg and hiked her skirt. He gaped as it pulled off the road.

"Hey kid, even monkeys have opposable thumbs."

Posted by jodi at 18h54 | Permalink | Comments (2)

I guess it's pretty understandable that theme would be moving. I will say this, if you put everything in storage, you don't have to go through the chaos of unpacking. Anyhoo, it's back. 50 word fictions. Play along, won't you?

After the Move

She sat next to the newly opened box and looked inside - box of pencils, beanie babies, 6th grade year book, her collection of shot glasses - they weren't in here. The words had to be here somewhere, she knew she'd packed them. And, after all, she only needed 50.

Posted by jodi at 0h13 | Permalink | Comments (2)

A couple of weeks ago, I took one of those "you are so smart, you know our products so well" tests. However, I was not smart enough to sign up for the right version. Color me surprised when I failed! Der. Whata dope. Anyway, I am re-taking it today. Or just taking it. Since this time, I plan on taking the correct version. So the them this week is "ace."

Watch for Falling Ice
She raised a hand to block out harsh winter sun. Turning her head, she saw the days work, the hunting and gathering, spilled out on the ground, plastic bag still grasped in her hand. Large shoes appeared before her. Shoes planted firmly on the icy sidewalk.

"Way to go, Ace."

Posted by jodi at 10h37 | Permalink | Comments (2)

This afternoon, I am taking another one of those industry tests that says "Yay - you sure do seem to know a lot about our software, you go girl!" I don't know if that's true, but despite the fact this is not one of the products I support, I am fairly confident I will pass the test, as I have been taking practice tests. I just don't believe this is the best way to measure someone's expertise in a product. Anyway, today's theme is tests.

Not My Home for the Holidays
Nieces and nephews buzzed passed him, knocking the packages from his arms. Before he could orient himself, he was gathered in the arms of a thousand relatives, compressed into a form 27% smaller than his norm.

Some call it a holiday, but he knew what it really was - a test.

Posted by jodi at 11h54 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Hey kids, I'm off today. And I'm waiting for the Moons to arrive, so I can take them up to Victoria with me, to meet Wil. They will be the first people I've ever introduced to Wil, since we are usually together up in Victoria. Nowhere near my friends or family. So, this week's theme is introductions. It is also inspired by a crabby man on one of the tour busses in New York who used every single cliche known to man to describe the traffic.

Shake Hands

"Hi... hi... I thought it would be nice to finally introduce myself."
"Oh... hi... it's nice to meet you, I'm the left hand."
"Yeah, you too. Look, I am the right hand, and the truth is, the rumors are true, I have no idea what you are doing."

Posted by jodi at 9h26 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Dark black inky darkness. Like my heart. Hee! That's our theme this week. We get our hour back this weekend, and the evenings grow darker. I love it. It's my favorite weekend of the year. [I get an extra hour in Victoria.] I've been waiting for my hour back since last April. I really think, considering how long I loaned it out, I should get interest, don't you? Like an extra hour and a half maybe? Come on!

Crayon Noir
The kindergarten teacher wrung her hands in concern. The school counsellor looked worried. The principal shook his head in confusion, picking up the drawing in one hand, a black crayon worn down to a nub in the other.

"Well, I guess she's got a bit of a dark side."

Posted by jodi at 0h36 | Permalink | Comments (3)

It just occurred to me, you know what NaNoWriMo is? It's 1 thousand weeks of 50 word fiction Fridays, in one month. The thought made me sleepy, so I asked Wil to write a fiction for today, therefore, the theme is delegation.

She had driven all night to see him. They spent the night in bed and ordered room service cheeseburgers. The next day she slept late and asked if he would write her English assignment. As she slept he wondered how old she was, and if she had stolen that car?

EDITED TO ADD: Ok, I finally wrote my own story about delegation.

"So ... where is she?"
"She took the day off and I have to cover for her."
"What does that entail, exactly?"
"Well, it means I do no work all day and then leave early."
"You'd better do some online shopping as well, just to be safe."
"Consider it done."

Posted by jodi at 12h31 | Permalink | Comments (3)

So, this week's theme is conversion. Of any kind. Something I have to try to do in my head every weekend. The numbers just don't mean as much to me up there. 22 degrees? That's freaking cold, right? No! It's quite nice, actually. Phooey. Anyway, the theme is conversion.

By the way, excellent job last week everyone.

Foreign Fuel

"99 cents? But.. that's not gallons. That's like... millieeters or something."
"Per liter."
"But what does that mean?"
"99 cents per liter... there are about 4.5 liters per.. carry the one.... it's about 2 bucks more."
"Two dollars? American or Canadian?"
"Oh, let's just walk."

Posted by jodi at 0h38 | Permalink | Comments (8)

You guys did such a great job last week! I think I am mucho rusty at this. I could not come up with a theme to save my life. I kept trying to use lines from the tv shows I was watching. Contenders?

• Don't be mad, monkey.
• Everyone was happy, especially the truckers in sweatpants.
• Look, will you ladies take your tea party outside? I'm trying to calm my nerves.

In the end, i chose a single word - chance.

The Dating/Crying Game
"You're not what I expected."
"Neither are you, actually"
"Well, I guess you take a chance when you answer the ads, huh."
"True."
"Look, there's been a mistake. I'm sure you are nice enough, but I'm not gay."
"I see. Well.... I'm not a man."

Posted by jodi at 0h17 | Permalink | Comments (3)

jodi: i'm gong to bring 'em back. gimme a topic. i need a topic.
wil: i dont know, why i love you the best
jodi: i don't think why you love me best is a topic that everyone can write about. but you are free to write about it. :)
wil: well they should learn
jodi i can't write about it.
wil: well you need to learn too
jodi: fine. that will be your topic. why you love me best. but, maybe everyone else will just have to do "love"

Lord, I am rusty at this. It's been a while. But here goes. You remember the rules? Play along if you like, 50 words - no more, no less. Must include the theme or topic in order to get the extra special chicken fried bonus points, with gravy and cheese on top.

True Love

He looked over at her, at her dopey smile, her fingers that caressed the smooth surface, her eyes wide with desire.

His jealousy was embarrassing, but he couldn't help it. He snatched the MacBook Pro away.

"Jeez... you love it so much, why don't you just marry it!"

Posted by jodi at 0h18 | Permalink | Comments (12)

Belly dancing is coming along well. In the sense that I am still enjoying it. Not in the sense I am getting any good at it. But it's still great fun. So much so, in fact, that KK and I have decided to add a second class to our week. This class is actually more of a belly dance work out class, and it's called Power Belly. Isn't that precious? I think the only reason I am taking a work out class is a: it's still belly dance which I like and b: i find the name Power Belly to be charming. Louise has decided to join us, and if we get in when we register today, our first class will be Tuesday after work.

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to use the term "power belly" in your 50 word fiction.

“How can you eat all that junk, doesn’t it make you sick?”
Fred popped the last fry in his mouth and stood.
“Nope… I’ve been upgraded.”
He lifted his shirt to show the steel that had replaced flesh.
“I’ve got a Power Belly… I could digest nails if I wanted.”

Posted by jodi at 8h30 | Permalink | Comments (2)

"Hi, again, wicked, gorgeous, unimaginable vastness of the universe."

Ok, I admit, I was sitting here with zero ideas for a 50 word fiction. I even thought I'd write the fiction first, and let the theme come out of that, but nothing happened. Blank screen. Then I read Mark Morford's latest article, about the Kiwa hirsuta, the blond, blind new mysterious crustacean that has been discovered. I wasn't inspired by it, per se, but more by a sentence in the article. "Hi, again, wicked, gorgeous, unimaginable vastness of the universe." Oh the amazing things we do not yet know, and have yet to discover. Take out of that what you will, if you chose to play this week.

Just to be Sociable I'll Take Your Word*

He craned his neck and watch the object soaring above him.
"Is this it?" He asked. "Have I seen everything now, now that I've seen an elephant fly?"
They ducked as the pachyderm dove into a deep swoop and then up again. She took his hand.
"I doubt it."

*From "When I see an Elephant Fly" from the movie Dumbo.

Posted by jodi at 11h04 | Permalink | Comments (3)

I need to go on vacation, kids. It's not just a time off from work thing, although who doesn't love that. I need to go away somewhere I've never been. Walk streets in a city I do not know. Or maybe I need to go to a cabin by a lake, somewhere quiet, with just my laptop and a stack of books... surrounded by trees. Or, possibly, somewhere a bit more tropical, where I can enjoy the water more directly, and walk on the beach under the stars. I wanted to go to Vegas before Ave. Q closed in May, but going to Vegas - again - would be a cop out. No matter how much I love it. I need to go somewhere new.

That being the case, the theme this week is "getaways." Even tho I didn't stick strictly to the vacation sense of the theme, myself. For those new to the game, feel free to contribute a story of your own. The only rule is it has to be exactly 50 words. [Unless you are William.] And if you want the extra cheesy, deep fried bonus points, you need to follow the them. I try to write one every Friday for no other reason than "why not?"

Getaway

The sun bore down hot on her skin. But not in a good way. She pushed her sunglasses back up on her nose, she was going incognito. But not in a fun way. She was stuck waiting outside the bank, ready to drive away. But not in a slow way.

Posted by jodi at 0h02 | Permalink | Comments (6)

I took a different belly dancing class with a different teacher this week. And I different Kirsten, for that matter, I went with coworker KK. You can never have too many belly dancing Kirstens in your life. This class was longer, the teacher was better, the results were sweatier. We worked harder and I ended up with more sore more muscles. I am going to stick with this class, as I like the teacher better. My cousin Kirsten is going to join us next week. I'll be surrounded by Kirstens!

I'm a bit slow on the 50 word fiction this morning, I've been posting at Satan's Bookclub. Yes! I have! Just a couple of newsy bits, but I've been missing the place lately, and wanted to give it some of my attentions. Which is this mornings theme... are there things or people in your life who need your attention?

Kitten Communication

She woke with a snort, unable to breath, feeling of panic in her chest. Sitting up quickly, she dislodged the cat from her face.

"Well, you wanted my attention, you have it now."

Sitting at the foot of the bed, everything in the cat's serene posture said "breakfast time!"

Posted by jodi at 10h11 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Rain rain rain. Actually, it is currently not raining. But that is only temporary. We are supposed to have a big wind storm tonight. We are currently experiencing the calm that comes before. Last night I asked Christine what the theme should be today.... something positive. She suggested Sunshine. And let there be light.

SPF
Their faces red not from embarrassment, they passed the bottle of aloe back and forth. She felt bad, but how many times had she told them... warned them? They thought she was being cute, they didn't take her seriously. They would now. She really was full of inner sunshine.

Posted by jodi at 10h20 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Based on online lookups, the # 1 word for the year 2005 is "integrity." I wonder how few of those lookups came from the White House. Anyhoo... that is the theme for today.

The Importance of Hair Care
She tested the integrity of the golden braid, and climbed out the window. Why wait for some knight in shining armor to come? She didn't even like horses. Landing on the ground, she shook her short blond curls. Feeling free in more ways than one, she set off for town.

Posted by jodi at 10h32 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Withdrawal; be it from caffeine, cigarettes, alcohol, chocolate, seratonin reuptake inhibitors or even from another person, is a bitch. That is our theme this week. My fiction to be added shortly.

Posted by jodi at 6h36 | Permalink | Comments (4)

It's rained here 25 consecutive days. In a row. That's what consecutive means. 8 or 9 more days, and we beat our record. Now, I am of the opinion, if you are going to do something, go all the way. Let's beat that record! But not everyone agrees with me. They are getting a little tired of it. However, I doubt seriously the Seahawks will make it to the Super Bowl, so, we are going to need something else to be proud of, anyway. Whooo-hooo, 34 days of rain in a row! We can do it! Come on!

So this week's theme is rain.

Running Between Raindrops
"Who's idea was this again?"
"Yours, it's your New Years Resolution. Healthier lifestyle."
"I was probably drunk when I said that. It's raining."
"Yes, it's cold, too."
"We could go back to bed, instead."
"Now, that happens to be one of my New Year's resolutions!"

Posted by jodi at 0h44 | Permalink | Comments (5)

Last night, I worked like hell to get asleep. It was an epic battle. Only to have it last but a mere hour and 15 minutes. A little after two, I woke up and realized I had no cat food. And I could not get over the fact I had no cat food. That I would have to go to the store, get some, come back and feed Pru, before I went to work. I realized that I would never get back to sleep in this state. So I got up and went to the store.

When I came home, I fed Pru, even tho it wasn't really breakfast time. But we were singing the cat food song. it goes like this:

Does it come in a bag?
Is it something crunchy?
Do they call it 'cat food?'
Then it is for ME!

If you want to hear me sing the cat food song, you have to come to my house and give me $50. Ok, I'll do it for $20, but you still have to come to my house.

The point of all this is, today's theme is "3 am." My fiction to arrive shortly.

Three A.M.
She looked outside the window at the night. It wasn't snowing outside, but it was storming in her head. Like a snow globe, their conversation had shaken her emotions, and she knew she wouldn't sleep until they all settled, gently, into their new terrain. Everything was different now.

Posted by jodi at 10h24 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Hello and welcome to the last 50 Word Fiction Friday of 2005. Whooo-hooo! Goodbye, 2005! Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out. [2005 has been a very rough year for some of you, I know you are happy to see it go.] So, I thought the theme was a no brainer, it's new year's resolutions. Something I, personally, do not make because I don't like to set myself up for failure.

Fire in the Hole
Who was she kidding, she'd never give this up? Taking the straw to her lips, she took that first sip of bubbly cold caffeinated goodness. She'd tossed this last resolution in like a grenade, knowing it's inevitable combustion would take the others down with it. Mmmmm.... Dr Pepper.

Posted by jodi at 6h12 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Man, I almost forgot it was Friday, my sense of timing is all out of whack, because I don't have to go into work today. Ok, technically, it's just a few minutes until Friday for me. I just got home from shopping about an hour ago. It was insane. I spent soooo much money. I have bags and bags and crap and I am not done yet. There will be 18 people at Christmas Eve dinner, aka: Stocking Madness. Which means 18 stockings to help stuff. [I think every event n my family should have the word "Madness" in it.]

Right now, I have to be honest, I'm thinking the theme should be blisters, because I have them on my feets, but since it's the Friday before xmas, I'll go with something a bit more holidayish. How about Holiday Headaches?

Candy Cane Headache
"Again! Again!" she cried, in perfect time with the aching throb in his head. "I want to play it again!"
He popped two excedrin in his mouth.
"I'm sorry, sweetie. We have to wrap this back up now. Santa was only loaning us Candyland."
His wife was not amused.

Posted by jodi at 0h11 | Permalink | Comments (5)

Oh boy, I am so late. But it's still Friday, so it counts. I only made it two hours at work yesterday before coming home. And I was home again today. This happened to me last year two, a week later in the month, right before xmas. I was sick as a dog. I ventured out to the grocery store today, but that's about it. So, is it any wonder that today's 50 word fiction theme is germs?

WBC Warriors Come Out and Play
She snuck up behind her prey, weapon firmly in hand. Hellbent on the havoc he was wreaking, he did not notice her.
"Yoohoo!" she called, and when he turned around, she ran her sword through his midsection.
"Damn you White Blood Cell Bitch!" the germ cried, as he died. Violently.

Posted by jodi at 16h33 | Permalink | Comments (7)

Hello, today's 50 Word Fiction theme is the last sin in our Seven Weeks of Sin theme - Evildeb's favorite sin - Anger.

Anger Management
Through a haze of dog hair floating in the air, the boy looked at his parents, and then down tot he electric razor in his hand. The dog happily wagged his now bald rump.

"I'm sensing a lot of anger in this room. I probably need a time out, huh?"

Posted by jodi at 9h38 | Permalink | Comments (6)

Hi! This week's sin theme is Lust. I'm opening a pandora's box with this one. Remember, ya'll, my mommy reads this blog sometimes.

By the way, I did not get enough snow, last night, to necessitate working from home. Sad.

Toy Lust
She stroked the smooth surface, a look of lust on her face.
"Ma'am, if you don't stop licking the PowerBooks, we are going to have to ask you to leave the store."
Licking her lips, she moved away. He didn't say anything about the Apple Cinema Displays.

Posted by jodi at 10h12 | Permalink | Comments (6)

You might be amazed, if you were around here Friday, by my ability to manipulate time and space, and post something in the past. I've got mad phat physics skills, and if I want to utilize tesseracts to go back to Friday, to post the FiWoFicFriday I can. Truth is, I was busy, and forgot it was Friday. But that's ok, cuz I got a good story out of it, one which I will tell you later, with more than 50 words. Fun!

Ok, well, this week's sin, and therefore theme, is Greed.

Greed is Tasty
The boy stuffed holiday cookies into his pockets. When his pockets were full, he began stuffing his cheeks. He turned around and ran into his grandmother, spitting crumbs on her sweater in his surprise.

"Well, Gordon Gekko, we'd better hide out in the kitchen before your mother sees you."

Posted by jodi at 14h54 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Continuing on through the seven deadly sins, today's theme is gluttony. Sorry I am late in getting the FWF up this morning. Please refer to last week's sin Sloth.

Bellyache

He looked up at me with those soft brown eyes, to sleepy to even raise his head. I put my hand on his rounded tummy and gave it a rub and he gave a grateful tail wag.

"Gluttonous little puppy, you see what happens when you eat an entire ham?"

Posted by jodi at 8h10 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Hey kids... we continue our sin theme with sloth. My favorite. I'll be away all day, so I look forward to your stories when I return. Please.... write me stories, I'll need something happy by the time I get home.

Orientation
She met with Satan first.
"I'm going to be honest with you, I'm not sure you have what it takes to make it down here. Sloth? That's it?"
She shrugged listlessly. "One time I ate three boxes of girl scout cookies in an afternoon."
"Gluttony! Now we're talking!"

Posted by jodi at 0h17 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Continuing our seven week theme of sin, today's theme is envy.

Pru-envy

Look her, lying there. warm under the blanket. I hope she understand what it is I go through, just to afford her this lifestyle. The long hours, the mind numbing job ... she spends her days relaxing and admiring her good looks.

What I wouldn't give to be my cat.

Posted by jodi at 10h08 | Permalink | Comments (3)

So, this is how I found this week's theme.

Me: Lloyd, what should tomorrow's theme be?
Lloyd: Sloth.
Me: Sloth? My favorite sin? You think so?
Lloyd: www.notproud.com
Me: What is this?
Lloyd: confessions of sin. I spend a lot of time browsing there. Mostly on Lust.
Me: Why;.... we could have a Seven Weeks of Sin theme!

And there you have it. Over the next seven weeks, we shall explore the seven deadly sins. Sassy! Despite what it says above, we are starting with Pride. I'm going to write mine in the morning because I don't have my glasses on right now. I have no idea if I am typing the words that are coming out of my head. It's all one big blur.

EDITED TO ADD:

The Collector
I lined each one up carefully, equal distances from each other. Inspected each for dust or scratches. I suppose some may consider it foolish, the pride I have in my collection, but I have a real sense of accomplishment. It's good to have tiny achievable goals - quicker pay offs.

Posted by jodi at 0h12 | Permalink | Comments (5)

This week's theme is a no brainer really, it's birthdays. I mean, duh. Just another way to prolong the celebration. I'm going to need some more birthday pie, I think.

Not in My House
I've never seen such destruction and chaos. The screams, the tears, the sounds of breaking glass, the sugar high, though it would never end. As god is my witness, I will never throw another birthday party for 10 six year olds again. Next year, it's Chuck E. Cheese.

Posted by jodi at 0h26 | Permalink | Comments (5)

I was chatting with Christine today, explaining how my worst nightmare happened on Friday. No, not the showing up naked to a final exam late, and finding a spider on my seat. The one where you accidentally include someone in an email they should NOT receive. And you find yourself stuck in the middle of a conversation that should take place between two other people. Not to mention the fact that you now feel bad for anything and everything you said. Christine said, "That's a place you find yourself a lot, isn't it? The middle?"
"Yup. Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right. Hmmmm.... I wonder if anyone has done a cover of that song?"
Yes, they have. I found several, but two I could not resist. But first, the original.

Stuck in the MIddle with You - Steelers Wheel

I am not familiar with Dale Ann Bradley, but she is a bluegrass/amaericana artist, and she released an album this year called "Old Southern Porches." Which happens to feature a very happy cover of "Stuck in the Middle with You." This version will be particularly enjoyable to Christine, who loves country, and Lloyd, who loves the banjo.

Stuck in the Middle with You - Dale Ann Bradley

I was all set to just go with that cover, when I found this one, done by Juice Newton. William loves the Juice. So I couldn't resist including it for him.

Stuck in the Middle with You - Juice Newton

Posted by jodi at 13h18 | Permalink | Comments (5)

Today's theme is weddings. Maybe we've done weddings as a theme before, I can't remember. But since my cousin Kirsten is getting married today, it's going to be weddings again! Ok, you can do weddings, or Yom Kippur. It's your choice.

Pileup in Taffeta
It was a massive collision. Bodies were tangled together and the cries of the hurt and humiliated were heard by all. She stopped and looked at the chaos, a pile of fallen maids.

"Ok, maybe I could have picked a more sensible shoe for the bridesmaids." She whispered to her father.

Posted by jodi at 0h02 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Sorry for the delay in getting the 50 word fiction up, I was struggling for an idea. This week's theme is validation.

Parking Ticket
Mouth open, he stood outside her door, while his date threw his coat at him. His shoes hit him squarely on the chest, one after the other. The offending ticket still clutched in his palm, he wondered what the big deal was. All he asked was if she validated parking.

Posted by jodi at 9h59 | Permalink | Comments (6)

Whoooo-hoo! Today marks sixth months of 50 Word Fictions! Was it good for you? Because it was great for me. Congratulations everyone who has been playing along. As an extra special Six Month Anniversary, today is actually 100 Word Fiction Friday!! That's right, today only you get double the pleasure, double the fun, double the words. Don't say I never gave you anything.

This week's theme is "repairs."

Fixer Upper
"I didn't mean to.." he said.
"Yeah, so you've said. You never mean to." she said.
"I don't know why you keep giving it to me."
"I don't have much choice, it's where it wants to go."

It was looking a little worse for wear, bumped and bruised. She examined it throughly, held up to the light, read the small print... sure enough, she was screwed. There was no warranty on her heart. She put on a brave face.

"Well, a little duct tape will fix that right up."
"I promise to be more careful."

Posted by jodi at 0h53 | Permalink | Comments (7)

Hey, this week's theme is Autumn. But get this, I was busy cleaning, and didn't even think about my story. CLEANING. If that's not an omen of bad things to come, I don't know what is. And now I am sleepy. So you all start without me, ok?

The Order of Things

"Autumn.... People like me better, you know."
"So I've heard."
"They write songs about me."
"Oh yeah? That's nice"
"I'm very popular, I'm thinking of getting my own gig somewhere, just leave the three of you behind."
"Hey... Summer... no matter what... I will follow you. Always."

Posted by jodi at 0h16 | Permalink | Comments (5)

Hi! Welcome to Week 24. I hope you are excited because we are two weeks away from the big WEEK 26 HALF YEAR CELEBRATION!! Whoooo! Didn't know we where having one, did you? I'm still searching for the perfect theme. If you have ideas, email me. Next week, Week 25, we will celebrating the autumn equinox with a ... wait for it... Autumn theme, not unlike our Summer theme last June.

This week, our theme is Wishing, to complement last week's Waiting theme. Because someone is under the impression that Jack Johnson is secretly in love with her and writes all his songs for her. Except Banana Pancakes, which he obvious wrote for me. Now me... I'm under the impression that E is writing all his music about me. Have I not mentioned the Eels lately? I've been remiss. They are still awesome, and my little fiction was writing while listening to them.

You Wish Upon Stars
She wishes upon the moon. She likes the in your face proximity. The moon wouldn't be able to tell you sweet lies, or false promises. It isn't all flash and sparkle. The moon has an honest face, and even if it can't deliver, it's happy to listen.

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Or as Loon likes to call it, FWFF. She even made a little badge! And I stole it. You can steal it too. It's free!!

This week's theme is waiting.

Kitty Karma
"I've given it some thought... I'm not as good as I could be. It's quite possible I won't be reincarnated as a human."
"No? What are you coming back as?"
"Probably.. a cat."
"Why wait?" He opened his arms, she crawled onto his lap and purred.

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Oh man, I am so happy it's September! Fall is my favorite!

I was having a great deal of trouble coming up with my 50 words this week. I honestly think those sims sap all the creative juices from my brain. So, while chatting with Christine, she gave me the challenge of using the words "buttery justice." We'd been talking about the Tick. Sometimes, all I need is a little push. Your challenge is to use either buttery or justice in your story. But, as you well know by now, you will get the extra special double chocolate hot fudge bonus points with the whipped cream and a cherry on top, if you use both.

Not Baked Goods, but Baked Bads.
Everyday he comes in, pushing people aside, talking on his phone, a wake of jostled coffee cups behind him. Day after day, the constant inconsiderate nature of the man. As I walked past him today, I tripped. Spilling the contents of my pastry tray on him, I dispensed my buttery justice.

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Hello and welcome to week 21. Do you think we should have a 1/2 year celebration when we reach week 26? This week's theme is the number 3, in honor of my baby blogs birthday on Saturday. Awwww... three is such a cute age. It walks, it talks, and now we can cut back on the meds because it spends half the day in preschool! Yay!

Turn Signal
She adjusted the mirror and glanced over at her passenger.
"Don't worry, you know what they say..."
"What's that?"
"Third time's the charm!"
He looked up from his clipboard.
"Unfortunately, Ms. Douglas, this is your fifth time."
"Wanna make it an even six, old man? Buckle up!"

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Didn't anyone notice that I failed to include the volume number last week? How come no one told me. Oh, I'll fix that tomorrow. For once, I am not fudging with the date of this post, to make it appear on Friday. It really IS 1:38 am, and I just got home. And I was wracking my brains for a theme the entire drive home. And then I saw the beautiful sorta pretty much maybe full moon shining on the still waters of lake washington, and I said, there you go, that's the theme. The moon. And then I said, i am not writing my story tonight, for I am going to bed. I will write my story tomorrow, when I am supposed to be working. Like a respectable blogger. And then I said, I'm only kidding, I would NEVER blog during my work day. Never! And then I told myself to quit while I nowhere near ahead.

So, yeah... the moon. Words from me later ....

goodnight, moon!

EDITED TO ADD:

What Lies Below the Surface
The sun is showy, it's a star and it knows it. Accept it's heat or run away, those are your choices.

The moon shines down upon you, sinking into you, filling dark corners with cool reflection. It shows the depths. Giving you this is the only reward it needs.

Posted by jodi at 1h42 | Permalink | Comments (7)

Well, since all I seem to be doing lately is going to office parties, we'll make "parties" this week's theme.

Rubbermaids
Holly munched on crudités as she watched the hostess unpack her wares. She stared at what she was seeing, unbelieving. All different lengths, widths, but only two colors. The hostess handed her one of a medium size and girth. She choked on a carrot.
"I thought this was a tupperware party!"

Posted by jodi at 0h35 | Permalink | Comments (10)

Some of you are receiving a failure error when you try to comment. Some of you are not. I just wanted to let you know, that I will look into this today. I'm not getting the error, so it's wonky.

I'm still drawing a blank on the 50 word fiction, but the day is young. Friday is not over. Maybe it's the theme. If the theme is causing you, too, to draw a blank, chuck it... write what you want, consider it a fill in the blank theme.

Meanwhile, until I fix things, here is a picture of me eating an ice cream sammich. Since I seem to be at a loss for words.

Posted by jodi at 8h09 | Permalink | Comments (13)

You know, I have absolutely no idea what to write. I just finished reading "The Historian" by Elizabeth Kostova, after several days of reading. My brain is so full of someone else's prose right now... I'm a blank. And so there is your theme. Something to do with blankness. Blank in it's roll as a noun or verb, it does not matter. You know the rules are lose. Except the word count!!

As for me, I'm going to have to sleep on it. I'll have something in the morning. For now, I got nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Blankness.

EDITED TO ADD:

Princess Naomi's Unmentionables
She couldn't believe the damage. Chairs overturned, broken glass, books dumped everywhere, clothes hanging from the ceiling fan, it would take days to clean everything up. She made way to her dresser and opened the top drawer. Sure enough, they were gone, all her panties were gone. Dirty thieving unicorns.

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The theme this week is hearts, be they broken, battered, bruised, loving, warm, big, cold, full, beating or transplanted.

Stay Fresh Heart
I keep my heart in the freezer, sealed tight in a tupperware container, back behind the ice cream, the frozen peas and the vodka. That way, when I am tempted to carelessly give it away again, I will have time to think twice. While I wait for it to thaw.

Posted by jodi at 0h10 | Permalink | Comments (10)

Today's theme is foreign places. It doesn't have a be a foreign country, it could be a foreign climate or culture. Miami FLA is fairly foreign to a girl from the Pacific Northwest.

International Relations
He stared at her, a force to be reckoned with, wild curls and freckled face, stars in her eyes and stripes on her shirt. She smiled at him, taking a drag on a cold soda. He acquiesced. Her engine roared as she drove across the border, trunk full of mischief.

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Look, I know it's not anywhere near Friday here in Seattle, but it's probably Friday on the East Coast. And I am tired, have meetings all morning tomorrow, so I'll cheat on the time.

For various reasons, due to various chats and blogs, the theme this week is submission. Sassy! Doesn't have to be sexual in nature, but I know some of you can't resist. Mine is, so here is to hoping that the family stays away today.Bad boundaries! Maybe next week, we'll do dominance?

Submissive: adjective - ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.
He was surprised she was into this, surprised she let him get her into this position.
"I am not meek or passive. I don't consider myself submissive," she said to him, pulling on the silken ropes tied around her wrists. "I consider myself.... barely contained. Still want to play?"

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See what happens when I have a day off? I get all confused. I almost forgot it was Friday. The theme this week is in honor of DrinkJack: road trips. I'll be back later with my story, as I only got up to use the little girls room, and now I shall go back to sleep.

No Vacation Time
She glanced at her watch, it was a 90 minute trip back to her apartment, and her roommates, and she did have work in the morning. But, she could probably take the time for one more piece of pie. Sometimes, even a little road trip away from your life helps.

Extra special musical addition to 50 word fiction Friday vol 14!!

Just because this song spoke to me this morning. It said, "hey... don't I kind of go with the theme of the fictions today? Don't I really sum up your feelings on road trips? Your need to run away when things get complicated?"

And I said, "yes, you do. Now shut up and get back to the tunes, I'll post you later."

Wedding Day by Rosie Thomas

Posted by jodi at 3h07 | Permalink | Comments (10)

Welcome to Lucky 13! You know, I was in one of those professional growth classes at work, where you are supposed to come up with ways you can start to fulfill your happiness and shit, and I stated that I would take baby step towards writing more fiction by doing a 50 word fiction every friday. I thought that was kinda funny. Anyway, someone from that class walked up to me yesterday and asked me if I was still writing my 50 word stories like I said I would. And I was proud to say, "Yes I am! Going on week 13 in a row!"

It's good to have tiny goals.

Ok, in honor of all the babies being born to people I know lately, and the babies about to to be born to people I know, and the fact that I finally got my Sims to have a baby, I give you this weeks theme... ready? It's babies. Saw that coming, didn't you?

Day Care Employee
They all arrived in the morning at once, they all cried at once, they all pooped at once, they all wanted to eat at once, they all seemed to want to throw up on her at once, so why on earth couldn't they all nap at once. Just once.

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Since this week was the official beginning of summer, I thought that should probably be the our theme this week. Summer.

Summer of 1978
It's too hot to move, too hot to breath. We can't go swimming, we're banned from the pool. The popsicle man's already been by, we don't have a/c, there's only one way to stay cool. We're going to have to go watch "Grease" again.

Summer of 1984
Arms wrapped around her legs, cheek resting on her knees, she sits on the grassy ledge, under the olive tree, and watches her little brother run up and down the sidewalk. Closing her eyes, she wonders where the button is. The button you push to get your real life started.

Summer of 1986
In a few hours, when the sun comes up, she is leaving this place forever. Leaving her home, her family, all of her friends and even her dog - she is taking the cat with her. So why was she in a darkened supply closet, kissing him? For the first time.

Summer of 1991
"So, you are leaving work early, to drive through the night, to get to San Francisco by 6am?"
"Right."
"And you are spending Sunday driving back?"
"Yup."
"And you are doing this why? It's a boy, isn't it?"
"It's not a boy!"

It was definitely a boy.

Summer of 1995
She cocked her head to the side, watching him speak, the words so much nonsense now. Excuses for the lies and betrayal, her fault for not living up to his ideal. Why did she ever think he was worth it? There's a good chance he's insane. Good riddance.

Summer of 2000
In a backroom, somewhere in Berkeley, she sat on a stool. It only hurt for a second, just like they said it would. The sharp pain that made her eyes water. Then it was over. Except his rubber clad finger which was still up her nose, inserting her new stud.

Summer of 2004
She wore next to nothing, she couldn't stand to in this heat. Upper 90's outside, it was in the 100's in her easy bake apartment. She raised the bottle of water over her head and poured. Steam rose from her skin. It was time to move.

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Hello and welcome to 50 Word Fiction Friday. For those who don't know, here is how we play the game. Write a story that is 50 words, no more, no less, and leave it in a comment. And that's it. Oh, and this week's theme is housework. Something to do with cleaning. Because we all know how challenged I am by the mere thought of it.

Also, in case you didn't know, there is an archive page of the past weeks 50 word fictions, if you'd like to reminisce. Enjoy!

Where is the fairy tale?

"You were supposed to bring me breakfast, sweep the hearth, hang the clothes out to dry, iron my ball gown..."
"Mmmm... I'm sorry... what?"
"You are just sitting here. Reading!! You make a lousy Cinderella."
"Can we just skip to the part where someone brings me a glass slipper?"

Posted by jodi at 0h10 | Permalink | Comments (8)

Ooo.. hey, you guys, sorry. I was caught up in a book last night and completely forgot to prepare the 50 word fiction. Ok. so this week's theme is "ennui" considering I am suffering from it. You don't have to use the word, just the idea of it. I'll have to post mine a bit later, as I am already late for work.

Bad bad Jodi

EDITED to add:

The girls leaned out the window of the third floor dorm room, arms outstretched. The water balloons were straining with their cargo and poised for deployment.
“Ready? Ennui! One.... Two.... WHEEEE!”
The fell back onto the bed laughing, as soaking wet sorority girls screamed their annoyance below. Ah, sweet satisfaction.

Posted by jodi at 8h13 | Permalink | Comments (7)

This week's theme is sleep, because I am very tired and want some. Sleep. Also, there is no fiction from me until tomorrow... or later today is it would be, as I have stayed up too late reading, and am too tired to think of even 27 words, let alone 50. I almost forgot it was Friday, because of those two days off at the beginning of the week.

So ... on your mark... git set.... gimme 50 words!

EDITED to add my story:

Night Sky

She opened the back door, slipping outside, spreading her blanket on the lawn. Looking up at the clear night sky, this was her favorite time, when everyone was sleeping. Which is why they did not see the beam of light come down and carry her up into the night sky.

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You know, I'm probably going to tire of the roman numerals after we hit 10 or so.

Well, as my Moür Moür used to say, "It's cocktail hour somewhere in the world!" It's Friday somewhere in the world as well. And so I bring you this week's theme: addiction. I think I'm going to make it a bit personal this week. Oh yeah.. I'm going to share.

Intervention
They gathered together in loving concern. It was time she knew the truth, she needed to understand what her deleterious addiction was doing to them, what it was costing the family. They poured out their feeling, but she dug in her heels.

“Intervene this! I’m not giving up the Dr Pepper!”

Now it's your turn to share with me.

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Hi! Welcome to Daisy Chain Round Robin Whooseywhat themed 50 word fiction Friday. This week, we'll each add on to the previous post of 50 words, stringing together one long story. Wheeee! Thomas generously provided me with a story, however, it was 53 words! So I had to edit it. Now I am torn between giving him smooches of gratitude, or a spanking. What's it going to be, Thomas?

Ok, let the story fun begin. I'll write some tomorrow, as, technically, it is Thursday evening for me, and Louise is chatting me up about something. Probably something to do with Satan.

Radishes. Every day, more stinking radishes. It didn't matter that she was the pixie protectorate of produce in Pricilla Pettigrew's prized patch, all she knew was that if she was forced to place dewdrops on any more radishes, she would magically string them together and shove them up Pricilla's ass.

Posted by jodi at 0h15 | Permalink | Comments (11)

Hi, this week's theme is going to take some prep, because I am opening it up to you guys to start it off. This week I thought we could do a 50 word fiction daisy chain, each post adds on to the previous post, to make one überstory. In 50 word increments.

I could start this off myself, but I thought that maybe someone else would want to write the initial 50 words... anyone up for it? Email me if you want to be the instigator of this party, and I will post the first one late Thursday night, although I will change the post time to make it look like Friday because I cheat like that.

Posted by jodi at 14h25 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Hello and welcome to VI. This week, I spent some time in class, learning more about color science and technology. And so this week's theme is color. Pretty broad, you can use it anyway you like, just name a color somewhere, and you've met the challenge. Of course, you are welcome to get more creative.

Always a bridesmaid.

"Let me explain this to you one more time," she said, clutching the bridesmaid dress in her fist, "Color harmony provides visual interest with a sense of complimentary chromatic balance. Overlooking these principles will result in unattractive, unpleasant emotional experiences. Cut to the chase? This dress will make me vomit."

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Hello and welcome to Volume Cinco. Because it's Friday in some parts of the world, if not mine, I present you with my phlegm inspried 50 word fiction based on this weeks theme... hollow head. Or was it hallow? Or haunted, if you want to go that way with it. Six of one, half dozen of another... I went with what felt true to me.

The Last 48 hours
Sludgey cement, slime and sticky ooze... muck, mire, and mucilage... green gunk, grime, glop and pellucid crud... with great effort she raised another sand paper rough tissue to her nose and wished for a hollow head. Whump.. her wish granted, the viral effluvium dropped into her lungs. Oh, *cough* perfect.

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This week's 50 word fiction theme is inspired by my little brother, and my search referral phrases. Ever since I told you the story of going to "fucking Nova Scotia", I get several Nova Scotia search strings a day. Yesterday's crop gave me the following theme: your story should include vasectomies and Nova Scotia. Now, if you think that you can't fit both in a story, that's ok. But you only get the super extra gooey chocolate chippy bonus points if you have both. And you want the super extra gooey chocolate chippy bonus points, don't you? Of course you do.

This means you, J.J.

“So, where is he?” she demanded, her frenzied packing halted while she listed to the voice on the phone. “Well, he’s sadly mistaken if he thinks Nova Scotia is far enough away. Wait until I get my hands on him!! I made it very clear ... NO VASECTOMIES UNTIL 2013!!”

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Death of a Salesman

“Hey, man, I guess we are playing phone tag. I got your email, so did everyone else since you cc’d almost the entire company. Ha-ha-ha! Not necessary, guy, I am your main contact here, just shoot me a ...”
*BANG!*
*FWUMP*
“What? he said to shoot him! So I did!”

This week's challenge is to include some aspect of the sales industry. The nice thing about making up the challenge is I can write what I want, and then issue a challenge I've already met! Next week, someone else can issue the challenge first, if you like. We'll talk about that next week.

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When come back, bring pie.

He knew it was a bad idea, but after months of nagging, he gave in, he let them fix him up. Standing in her kitchen, uncomfortable, avoiding her gaze, he wondered if his friends knew about her more prurient insterests. It seemed like such a waste of a good pie.

Yes, I cheated. I bumped the post time up to a minute past midnight so I could go to bed. I'm going to be freaked out busy tomorrow, and I wanted to make sure I got a fifty word fiction up. Feel free to write one too, but don't forget the challenge.

Posted by jodi at 0h01 | Permalink | Comments (20)

I though, hey - Jodi... you don't have any regular features on your blog. Nothing that people can count on. How about you make one up. And so I did. Welcome to the first 50 Word Fiction Friday. In which I write a 50 word fiction. Pretty simple. Now... let me think....

Good Listener

He glanced up from the bottle on the table, the label torn all along the edges, “Thanks for listening to me...you’re different from the women I usally meet in this place.”
Under the table, her fingers flexed as her claws extneded. “Let me guess, I’m not like the other girls.”

Posted by jodi at 20h15 | Permalink | Comments (2)

“i don’t understand,” she said, demons pouring out of the drainpipe at her feet. “this was supposed to close the portal.”
behind her, a cautious demon approached. “if i may... it’s RIGHTY tighty, lefty is.. well, loosey.”
“ahhhh!” she said, nodding. understanding hit the second before he ate her head.

Posted by jodi at 19h54 | Permalink | Comments (1)