faster pussycat... type! type!

More wisdom from burton

hey, remember that email i got from burton, telling me to remove all rings from my middle finger? well, i got another brilliant email from him, that i must share with you.
Hi Jodi,
Occasionally we like to send fun and useful tips to the California Astrology Association's clients. Here are a few lesser-known beliefs that you may find interesting:

• If a bachelor or maid is placed between a married couple at supper, he or she will be married within a year. [[a maid? he must be talking housekeepers because i KNOW no one would be stupid enough to call an adult, unmarried woman a MAID.]]
  
• When a newly married couple first enters their new home, the one who gets the left foot over the doorstep first will rule the show.
  
• Rubbing against a newly married couple is said to be infectious. [[isn't that a real live fetish, with a name and everything? rubbing up against people?
  
• Seeing two crows in the morning will be bring surprises in the afternoon.[[my life should be a surprise party, then. because there are some damn obnoxious crows that live outside my window. i hate birds.]]
  
• Rocking an empty cradle will speed a baby into it. [[that, and unprotected sex]]
  
• Sitting next to an empty chair means another person is seeking you out.
  
• Snuffing out a candle within a minute of its being lit arouses sensual desires.
  
• Thinking of a couple while knocking over an empty bucket causes them to rethink their commitment.
  
• Putting your hand over your mouth while yawning keeps the Devil from getting in. [[bugs, as well.]]
  
• It is considered unlucky to give an umbrella as a gift.
  
• A guest who repeatedly refolds his napkin means your home will be blessed during the coming month.
  

how incredibly useful is that? i bet this is even more helpful than the whole ring thing. which never made a difference, by the way. my rings are back on my middle finger.

Posted by jodi at avril 9, 2003 10:26 AM

Jodi, you should listen to Burton. Maybe if you did you'd find a nice man to take care of you. Then you wouldn't have to worry your pretty head over things like work, the government and you purpose in this world. You'd just have to worry about what to make your husband for dinner and is the apron you're wearing pretty enough? Maybe you should iron and starch it.

Posted by: Lisa at avril 14, 2003 11:38 AM