faster pussycat... type! type!

It's starting to smell a little like danger in here, or heavily-fried food.

some stumbling blocks to the low carb thing. i have a problem. two problems. i sorta forgot about them. a: i don't cook. and when i do, it turns out badly. this could probably be remedied with practice. but b: is a stranger issue. it's been so long since i've prepared anything from scratch, i'd actually forgotten about it. when i cook, i get queasy. not massively so, but what we call "alien baby" level. whatever i am cooking, with the exception of cookies, makes me queasy. and then i won't eat it. and i admit it, anything MEAT is the worst. just having contact with it, in it's uncooked form... ruins it for me. now, don't go thinking i'm a closet vegetarian, cuz i'm not. i feel the same way when i make a salad. i can sit and watch you make me a steak start to finish, no problem. but if i handle the meat, if i am responsible for the cooking, i get queasy. it's just so... fleshy.

anyway. yeah. i didn't eat lunch because it made me ill, i didn't eat dinner for the same reason, and i couldn't eat my breakfast. i'm sure this is a psychological coping mechanism, which enables me to never fully grow up and take on grownup responsibilities. hey... i can't cook, i'll get queasy.

i'm not ready to give up. entirely. my issues with cooking can be overcome. so here is what i decided to do, the whole cooking thing was stressing me out. i'm kinda edgy right now. so, i'm not on the diet. lasted a day. lost a pound and a half. :) but sandy's advice confirmed what i already knew. you can't cheat on this diet and get results. and i'm not at the point where i can cook and eat my own cooking for every meal. oh yeah, i am decided to do, through november, possible the holidays entirely:

- cut down on sugar. no morning dr. pepper. it's diet dr. pepper. no candy.
- religiously drink 64 ounces of water a day. lost a whole size last year doing just that.
- find ways to incorporate more protein in my diet, to deal with carby crashes.
- cook my own dinner at least four days a week, from scratch, no frozen, until i get better, and i don't get queasy.
- be aware of how many carbs i eat, and cut down on them. less pasta and bread.

i think that's it for now. it sounds like a good start. i know you are probably thinking the whole queasy cooking/eating thing is crazy. but let's not forget louise, who can only eat of plates of certain colors, or she gets queasy. that's crazier... right? louise and i together... in a restaurant. "what color plates do you server your food on, can i see one ahead of time? btw, i hate pork. don't bring me pork." "look, it's very important that my food not touch. you've got some vegetable medley touching my pasta. is there mayonnaise on that? i can't eat mayonnaise... I'LL HURL!! seriously... i've got a note from my doctor."

answers to some comments:
wow, sandy!! that's amazing! and awesome! yay, you! and loon, you are correct, it is evil. they were evil cupcakes. and i pity the souls of the people who ate them. and fee... not one peep out of you about food. it's ramadan. you are not allowed to talk about food during daylight hours. and if it's not daylight hours, what are you doing commenting on my food, you should be eating a pile of your own food. :P

tonight i am going to try to do something about my pathetic word count. as of yet, lucy hasn't even been laid off from her job, or confronted her sorta boyfriend, hal, about his affair with the slutty penelope. i haven't even finished the first plot turtle. word count? still 2,809. i didn't write last night, i went to bed instead. i was queasy!!

Posted by jodi at novembre 4, 2003 06:47 PM

It is I, Louise of the plate colour pickiness. I actually suffer from a similar food preparation malady. I cook quite a bit now and have conquered the queasiness to an extent. However, food that I have prepared always lacks appeal. The same thing prepared by someone else for my pleasure would be fine, it's something about me making it. This is why crisps and chocolate are major food groups for me.

I think it's because it's my birthright to be waited on hand and food and have special food preparation staff pander to my every culinary whim.

But I actually had a question Jodi - in InCopy how doyou get the word count to appear. I found where to customize the Word count but couldn't actually find where to turn it on so I could see it on the bar at the bottom of the screen.

Posted by: Louise at novembre 4, 2003 07:08 PM

I am the same way Jodi, only it is with baked items...If I bake a cake or cookies I am more liable not to eat them, its the gooey batter, the raw (shudder) eggs...But a steak? Ha, just burn it crispy on the outside, mooing in the middle!!! And I have the same aversion to salad which is why I now buy bagged salad, if I have to tear it up and cut things I won't, too much like work....

And as far as the colored plates go, lmao...I have all fiestaware, used to have all plain white corelle...Freaked out the husband when I threw them out and bought all the colors. Then I really freaked him when I mixed the colors at the table. Green plate, pink salad bowl, turquoise bread plate....hehehe, there are ways to be evil besides making cupcakes...

Good luck with the cutting back thingy and the water!!!

Posted by: Sandy at novembre 5, 2003 06:41 AM

Let me know how this diet thing goes. I sounds like you're cooking food like I do. Except I like chicken with rice. I make big batches of food on the weekend and eat it all week. But I have no problem eating the same thing for dinner every night.

Still, I would probably lose weight if I had a chef just make all my meals. Yes. That's my best option. Does it say anything about a chef in your book, Jodi? And what is the title of this book?

PS: about my blogging, or lack thereof: blow me. =)

Posted by: Lisa at novembre 5, 2003 10:33 AM

Dude! I can totally relate to the food cooking thing! I used to be the same way, only mine stemmed from being afraid that I did something wrong, and that the food was bad, somehow. Not in taste, but like I didn't cook the meat long enough, so it didn't get hot enough to kill all the nasties, etc. I got over it, though, when I was put in a position where I *had* to cook. It still creeps up on me from time to time, however. I don't have any real suggestions for you, except to keep trying, and find ways to follow your diet, as closely as possible, with pre-prepared foods! Yay pre-prepared foods, I love them!

Posted by: Romy at novembre 6, 2003 10:42 PM

Mmmm. Chicken and rice. Dangit, now I'm hungry.

You people are weird. I never knew people actually had an aversion to cooking. Okay, so I don't often choose to cook. But it's because I'm lazy. Which is just as much a valid excuse as queasyness!

Yeah, all right, it's not like I enjoy fondling the raw meat. But here's my thing - I'm a picky eater. I kinda prefer knowing whose hands have been on my food - and where they've been before they were preparing my food. And I too have this meat thing. Except it's that I cannot stand having any kind of nasty stuff on my meat. When I cook it, I can shred it to bits cutting out all the fat and skin and generally nasty stuff that I never, EVER want to put in my mouth, and not feel so bad.

This is why I don't often go over to other people's houses for dinner. Unless they know my eating "quirks". It's also why I generally don't get invited back for dinner.

Hey, I can't help it if you serve me a 9 oz ribye and I cut off 75% of it. It's fat, I tell ya. FAT!

Hunh. All this talking about "meat" has kinda made me feel dirty.

Posted by: Wicked at novembre 7, 2003 06:32 AM

Dirty Wicked, dirty and cheap...I agree....I need a shower after reading your post... I bet restaurant eating is a nightmare for you too. They may have sneezed on it....

Posted by: Blue at novembre 8, 2003 11:19 AM

Oh, you have no idea, Blue!

I can't stand going out with people who complain, either. Well, with people who complain to the waiter...the manager...the cook. Because as soon as that happens, my mind jumps to the fact that NOW I can't order dessert, 'cause I'm positive the waiter, the manager, the cook - or all three - are going to spit in it, step on it, light it on fire, and then take a pee to put it out.

No. I'm not paranoid about food. Not at all.

Posted by: Wicked at novembre 9, 2003 09:57 AM

Wicked, Sweetie, you forgot the hair in the food and the cockroaches, eeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And who needs dessert anyways huh? My thighs sure don't!

But pass me the rib eye, rare, I'm on Atkins, I needs me fats!

Posted by: Blue at novembre 11, 2003 11:04 AM