faster pussycat... type! type!

Blessed are the mini-marshmellows.

Last night, Louise and I went to a book signing for Christopher Moore's new book.

(Louise's boyfriend and his brother were there too, actually.) I was really excited about this signing, because I wanted to have a few books signed. At the very least, my copy of Lamb, which is one of my favorite all time books. So much so, that I bought a first edition hardback copy of it. He did read something, but it was not from the book. In fact, it's up on his blog, a political piece. And he talked about carbs, Hawaii, the atkins diet, about a plan to bomb 52% of states like Oklahoma from commercial airlines with extra luggage space down below, christmas amnesty [explained in the book], California schadenfreude [also explained in the book] and gave away a t-shirt. Which I did not win. Mores the pity. So to speak.

When you bought a Chris Moore book, if you bought one, you got a numbered ticket that would dictate your place in line. I was six people head of Louise. I instinctively followed the procedure, as I am wont to do, until I find a flaw in it. So for a good 10 or 15 minutes, I stood six people ahead of Louise, listening to the woman behind me. She was demonstrating how very very much she knew Mr. Moore because she emailed him two years ago. I could tell that the women she was talking with could not have been there with her, because had they been friends, they would have to be used to this know it all attitude she displayed, and ignored her. These women were receptive. Goody. She even scoffed at the rapid response she received from him, indicating that he might not have "a life," unlike herself. A very important woman. That was the only scoffing she did, tho. However, she emailed him with a book idea!! The rest of the time, she gave expert witness testimony. Did she think he'd tone done the political piece before reading it at a signing in Arizona? "you know, I think he will." It was obvious their one email correspondence made them best friends. She was annoying. I was annoyed. And that's when I said to myself, "hey... speaking of being annoyed, why am I not hanging out with Louise? what's the fun of rolling my eyes at this woman if there's no one around to enjoy it?" So I moved back with her before I was forced to turn around and tell that lady to shut up.

Louise and I had made jokes about whether or not another author would fall under the spell of her lovely accent. And sure enough, what happened... Christopher Moore was powerless against her Darling Accent. Just wanted to listen to her talk. I begged him to stop, because her Darling Accent Ego simply did not need any more fuel. But I'm sure he could not help it. You just can't. I did say that if he insisted on listening to her talk, I could give him a list of topics that would set her off. Louise said that she now knows that she is destined to become an Author Reading/Signing groupie. For she is so beloved by them. Only the men, it seems. I do not remember Janet Evanovich being all that impressed with her. Also, it will only work in America. As I told her, "you had to leave your homeland in order to be special." ["to get the attention I so richly deserved!" is her response.]

So, we will continue to go to book events, male authors will be entranced by her accent, she'll tell charming anecdotes about haggis with words like "minging" in them , and I will make fun of her, in order to mask my pain. Because I don't have a delightful accent! Even if I moved to Europe or something, people still would not find it delightful! It's terribly sad, isn't it?

Two thumbs way up for Christopher Moore appearances! He's veddy veddy funny. Hoaching with talent, and all that. [today's title comes from the new book.]

Posted by jodi at décembre 3, 2004 01:55 PM