faster pussycat... type! type!

No brains, no headache...

as we like to say in my family. Which is just more proof that i have a GINORMOUS brain. Knew it all long, after all, I carry the thing around on my neck every day. But if I had doubts, my headaches could squelch them. Woke up with a pounding headache, went through my day with a pounding headache, and left a half hour early with a pounding headache. You know, one of the things that does not help a headache is sitting at the computer all day writing and researching. The funniest part about my headache.... Evildeb wasn't even in the office today. She went down to see the babytechs with Dr. Stevil. It was quiet as a tomb in my pod today. Maybe it was evil withdrawal. I came home from work, went to bed and slept until 9. Now I'm awake and experiencing the post headache high.

Evildeb cannot sit through meetings. It is physically very painful for her. If she is not an active participant in the meeting, little pieces of her soul can be seen leaving her body... floating away from the top of her head. If you expect her to listen and retain information, you'd better make it appealing. It's not her fault, she's missing a certain synapse in her brain. To prolong her pain, turn the lights off and show a presentation on the wall. Even better, make it a white background, black helvetica text. That's it. Then she will be bored, tired, antsy AND depressed. God love her. So if I am sitting next to Edeb in a meeting, and there is a pad of paper between us, we'll often scratch comments or questions back and forth. I know it may appear rude, but believe me, I'm doing everyone a favor... keep her captive in a meeting room for too long, and she'll try to chew her own leg off to escape. Also, it just so happens, I am also miss firing at certain synapses. By providing me with a piece of paper, and an audience, I will be more apt to keep my sarcastic, but terribly witty, comments to myself. I have Meeting Tourette's.

Bad Employee #1: you know, i bet he folds his underwear into neat, uniformly sized underpants packets.
Bad Employee #2: you forgot to mention they are white.
Bad Employee #1: You are right of course. Resistance is futile!
Bad Employee #2: Kill the humanoid!

Posted by jodi at février 5, 2005 01:13 AM

You must be a saint to have such beautiful followers and a compatriot like EvilDeb. Protecting the unwise and boring meeting organizers from such perfect wit and sarcasim. For they would wilt from the words that would flow through the ether and into their puny brains. St. Jodiferous, the saint of Meeting Tourette's.

Posted by: DrinkJack at février 6, 2005 08:36 PM

Hey,

First of all, it's "Destroy the Humanoid."

Second of all, while I would agree that Jodi and I are on a similar plain of existence, similar mind you in that they are similarly unfrequented by the norms...I believe it incorrect to state we are actually residing in the same country (ie: compatriots).

That is all.

Posted by: Evil Deb at février 7, 2005 11:12 AM

"I believe it incorrect to state we are actually residing in the same country"

huh?

Posted by: Jodi at février 7, 2005 11:17 AM

Oh...I misspoke...We doooo live in the same country in a literal sense but I was referring to the mental landscape in which we reside.

Mentally I'm not sure I'm in a country at all and Jodi is actually on Monster Island or maybe it's the Netherlands. One of those.

That's all?

Posted by: Evil Deb at février 7, 2005 11:20 AM

the netherlands? ok. i'll take it. evildeb lives in a parallel universe made of jello.

i just can't believe she's letting that "you must be a saint" part go by without a comment.

Posted by: Jodi at février 7, 2005 12:18 PM

Usually, during long meetings, I just like to "take notes", i.e. doodle incessantly. I've dicovered that if you draw Ninja Turtles incessantly, every seven hundred and fifty third one will wind up being pornographic with phallic proportions of legendary size?

Posted by: Thomas at février 7, 2005 12:35 PM

makes sense, because i believe studies have shown that one in every 754 ninja turtles does indeed have a phallus of legendary size. they call him "chief" and he has 3 wives for every day of the week. except sunday. he only has one for sunday. because it's a holy day.

Posted by: Jodi at février 7, 2005 12:43 PM