faster pussycat... type! type!

High stakes poker, Michaela. Bunch of stinkin' drunk men sittin' around a table gamblin', smokin', talkin' dirty and we'd like for you to come. Interested?

I played Lunchtime Intraoffice Interdepartmental Poker today. I had not been able to play since this summer. The regulars had all received nicknames since I last played. Miss Kitty, Ace Barracuda and Boss. Here's the thing about my Poker Playing stratagem, you will never figure it out. Never. Because it's fluid and depends on the phases of the moon, my blood sugar level, what day of the week it is, how much sleep I had the night before, the total number of ounces of Dr Pepper I have consumed, and whether or not I want to make my co-players cry. And whether anyone has brought any candy to the table. My stratagem floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee, baby! Sometimes, I play with my cajones. I'm all up in their faces, betting hundreds with only a 6 high. Distracting everyone with my witty color commentary. Other times, I am cautious and quiet, and I use that time to learn about my opponents. But, most importantly, no matter how many times I watch Celebrity Poker, I cannot recall what one with any skill at all would do. I don't like to be limited by the advice of experts anyway.

Today, I played with my cajones. Big bets with nothing to back it up, and for the most part, it was working. I did get pocket Ace's, which I decided to call pocket tee-pee's. However, I think they are called pocket rockets. At one point, I took all of Miss Kitty's chips. And I was in the lead major. But I blew it. I lost everything. Boss took all the chips, i don't know how, I thought I was a shu-in for Big Poker Kahuna today. Oh well, my sparkling poker personality, color commentary, and cajones did earn me my poker nickname. Miss Conduct. Can't win if you don't play, baby.

Posted by jodi at février 9, 2005 04:51 PM

Why or why can't I remember to sign into TypeKey for you....

Did you declare, "Read them and weep! Pocket Tee-Pees!" I am not sure that I could play poker with you. I would be afraid that you would pull out your cajones, lay them on the table for all to witness, and I would shiver in fear...

Posted by: DrinkJack at février 9, 2005 06:35 PM

I believe that I said, "oh, me? what do i have? not much, just these POCKET TEE PEE'S!! BAMF!!! Pucker up and deal, losers!!"
something like that.

yeah, i played ballsy today, but you shouldn't be afraid, i still lost. i am very very very very very obnoxious. you should see me when i am playing "apples to apples."

Posted by: Jodi at février 9, 2005 08:42 PM

oh gawd! i am obnoxious to play with two. my dad taught me two be a shit-talker.

and you used the nightcrawler sound! BAMF! you rawk!

and today is for the use of w's!

Posted by: river selkie at février 10, 2005 08:13 PM

you are correct! that is the nightcrawler sound! bonus points for you! BAMF!

i'm terrible at sports or any type of contest or game that requires physical grace, so i can get pretty competitive when playing cards or board games.

Posted by: Jodi at février 10, 2005 09:40 PM