faster pussycat... type! type!

nothing says lovin' like something from the oven

happy halloween!

here at work, all the managers in my dept. had treats for us today, so we could go trick or treating. my favorite one is pam, because she had homemade sugar cookies with frosting. mmmmm....cookies. later on, we are having a party. it's very much like being in grade school again. i've not been here at halloween, since i started working here. usually i'm on vacation, it seems. in southern california. some people are in costumes, i am not. i am wearing a halo, since my teammate molly is wearing devil horns.

since there is so much candy about, it's like grade school in another way as well. it's impossible to concentrate on work when you know you have a halloween party in a couple of hours. remember that feeling? we have a pumpkin carving contest as well. my team did a hello kitty pumpkin. on one side, she's good and has a halo and looks normal. on the other side, she is evil and have horns and a scar. we are lighting her up with a bike light, only we are using a flashing red one for the scar. tin foil will isolate the red flashing light to just the scar, so it's a THROBBING scar. pretty clever. not my idea.

here is a little halloween cartoon for you. it's been going around work, so of course it's computerish in nature.

Posted by jodi at 12:07 PM | Comments (0)

plan b from outer space

so, by now, you may be worried about me and my plan to become a test subject for the drug companies. so i thought i would fill you in on plan b. plan b is a two part plan the most immediate part is the less savory of the two, in my opinion. part one of plan b consists of me getting a seasonal holiday job through the end of the year. this, more than likely, means the mall. and anyone who knows me knows i am not looking forward to it. working at the mall at christmas. i know one thing for sure, it's not going to be at hallmark. no way. i'd sooner sell an eyeball than work at hallmark at xmas. especially the day after. no freakin' way. there are two stores that are hiring holiday help that i am considering. one is the candle store, Illuminations. i figure i might as well work where i might enjoy the discount, should there be one. it's only temporary, i keep telling myself. only through the holidays. and the time will go so quickly.

part two of plan b is the long term solution. long term meaning, i figure i will have to do this for several months. i am going to go to bartending school. with bartending, i think i can make enough money for it to be worth my time to work a second job. the hours are mostly evenings, which is good. and it could be good for me socially. to get out the house and meet people. i think i could make a pretty good bartender. it's in my blood, thank you grandpa nelson. and i grew up playing in the bar of the ivanhoe inn, pre-open for business hours. i love the smell of a bar. the smell of hot, super clean glasses and sweet liquors. it takes me back. i'm friendly and people tend to find me amusing, i'm good with the public. and hey, i even have a psych degree, in case that myth about bartenders being good listeners should come into play.

so that's plan b. don't get me wrong, play a - test subject for major pharmaceutical companies, may still come into play. who knows. i'm not counting it out. but even though i am an extremely lazy person, and i am not proud of the fact that i have gotten to a point where i need a part time job, i am feeling good about the fact that i am doing something about the problem. i'm looking forward to not being so worried. i'm also looking forward to practicing my cocktail making skills on evildeb. she loves sitting around and drinking cocktails.

Posted by jodi at 11:49 AM | Comments (0)

just say yes to drugs

i have found the perfect part time job. seriously, this is the best idea ever! i was looking through the part time listings in the online want ads. seeing nothing. then i came across this: "Participants for surveys and studies. Earn $17/hour. No exp nec. Flexible hrs." i have no experience!! so i called the number, and there is this recording about what the studies are, and what to do if you want more info. it's drug studies. for large drug companies. they aren't preliminary studies or anything, but final studies. and they have to be done for the drug to be considered "safe." and so the drug companies are willing to pay up to $4,000 a month to participants!! so naturally i asked for more information because i already take prescription medicine. i'm good at it. i'm going to sell my soul to science!! this will be awesome! after the initial one day visit or orientation or whatnot, you only have to go in 3-4 times a week for a half an hour. i can do that! i can take drugs for money! the way i i figure it, i'm perfect for an allergy medication study.

some of you might say, "now, jodi.... this is not a good idea. this is a bad idea! being a test subject for drug companies!" but some of you take all kinds of drugs that don't come from a pharmacy, if you know what i mean. wink wink. so... ummm... don't judge. besides, we all know what the side effects will be: dry mouth, headache, fatigue. that's what they always are! and i'm already tired and headachey. so who cares? for $4,000 a month i wouldn't' care. you know how quickly i could pay off my tax debt with that? well, to know that, you'd have to know how enormous my tax debt is, and i am ashamed to tell you. so, no, you don't. but it would be really really cool to even make a quarter of that a month. it would help a lot. come on!! let me test drugs!! please?

i'm not putting all of my eggs in the drug testing basket, however. i have another plan. Plan B. but we'll discuss that later.

Posted by jodi at 09:56 AM | Comments (2)

relationships

pru and i are in a fight. last night, she went all spastic and started freaking out behind the entertainment center and tv. ended up she pulled the cable out. therefore, tivo was not able to record angel, and i missed it. it took me over twenty minutes to figure out what part of the intricate chain was loose. and for a minute, i thought maybe she had actually pulled the cable out from the wall and i would have to call for a repair. so we had a fight. of course, she is just a little kitten with a peanut brain, so she may not realize it. whereas i am a adult human being with an above average sized brain. and i can recognize the delicate nuances of our relationship. nonetheless, she still slept on my head. and woke me up by kissing my face. because of that peanut size brain.

this weekend, i decided i wanted to play the sims. i had not really explored Hot Date, and i had had it for months. so .... i did. and you know how it is when i get into the sims. hours just disappear. i was working with two sims, buttonwillow and jorji, but i was having some issues with buttonwillow. she was to be my main sim. i usually have one that i concentrate on for a while. and it was going to be buttonwillow. but she didn't like anyone. not even her roommate. who really liked her. i don't get it. i got a little frustrated and ended up creating a new sim and household. phoebe, named after the b, lives alone. which is dangerous, because they get so freakin' lonely so easily. but she throws lots of parties and doesn't have a job. her best friend is kylie, who always wants to gossip and then shows a negative red mark above her head when she does. i guess phoebe doesn't reciprocate the gossip and that annoys kylie. but that's all kylie wants to do when she comes over. but they go downtown and have fun. and phoebe buys her lots of food and presents. and they play chess and hang out in the hot tub. so it's all good. i downloaded an eddie izzard sim. he's for phoebe. and they are in love. but these crazy sims are more unpredictable now, in hot date. it's complicated. more challenging, i suppose. takes more effort to win them over. and it's easier to turn them off. phoebe accidentally walked in on eddie when he was trying on a bathing suit, on a date downtown, and he walked off in a huff. seriously, it was an accident. i didn't know that "play in" the dressing room was an option, and i tried to cancel it, but it was too late. he's in love with her, and he'll kiss and hug her, but he won't slow dance, or play in the hot tub. moody. well, i'll try not to rush things. i think i'll see if i can't create a man for buttonwillow.

i'm a sad creature, aren't i?

Posted by jodi at 11:21 AM | Comments (0)

when come back, bring pie!

romy sent me this as a birthday greeting, because i had birthday pie instead of cake.

want pie now!

i actually got three kinds of pie on sunday, birthday pie [dutch apple] and two different kinds at bookclub. it was a good thing.

Posted by jodi at 12:32 PM | Comments (0)

love pantry

so my birthday was fine. except i am getting sick. started on my actual birthday. but i survived. i wasn't terribly excited about this birthday. maybe i am having a problem turning 35, i don't know. i have not had a problem with any other age, so this would be a first for me. and, yes, my stepdad did forget my birthday again this year. however this time i decided to tell him he forgot, instead of just let it go.

last week was so boring, i am really trying hard to find something to come up with for the Most Important Thing i Learned. and the only one i can come up with is really really lame. but maybe that was just the way it was last week. lame. i learned that putting fresh lemon rind in your apple pie recipe is really really really good. that's it. i had pie at bookclub yesterday, it was excellent apple pie. and she put lemon it in. that is one sucky week, in terms of expanding one's horizons. i'll try to better this week.

i've decided that i am 73% certain i should get a part time job. i am too stressed about money and i think doing something about it would make me feel better than just sitting around worrying about it would. it's not like i want to give up my free time to another job, i'm intrinsically a very lazy person. but i'm not exactly living a go-go new millennium lifestyle right now. since i've become an introvert. i think it might actually be good for me.

i have, of course, come up with some qualifiers. i will only take a job that is non-stressful. i would prefer it either be dealing with something that interests me, something so different that i learn something, or something that has some kind of life experience value. for instance, there is a listing in the paper for a part time job at the Love Pantry, about a mile and a half from my house. now, this is a pretty tame sex shop. no magazines. mostly lingerie and toys. stupid bachlorette party favors, fetish clothing, naughty gifts. stuff like that. but working in a sex shop, now that has life experience value. i would find it amusing, it would be different, and i wouldn't mind having that to add to my list of "things i've done." maybe i could incorporate it into my best selling novel that's going to eventually lead me out of these financial woes. plus, it's not in the mall. i'm not sure i could work at the mall. that might be too depressing. i wonder if i would get a discount? everyone would get vibrators for christmas!

Posted by jodi at 11:58 AM | Comments (0)

i have just one thing to say...

in 43 minutes, i'll be 35 years old. can you believe that shit? how'd that happen?

Posted by jodi at 11:19 PM | Comments (0)

cannibal kitten

i had to kick pru out of the bedroom last night. i'm currently not sleeping much. and every time i get close to sleeping, she starts acting up!! she would not quit biting me last night. i kicked her out. shut the door. she does not like that. when i finally opened it this morning, she wanted a lot of attention.

yesterday was boring. [today is not much better] i had nothing to write. i tried. but when i started writing about the weather [we are having record breaking nice weather right now] i knew it was time to put the keyboard down and walk away.

so everyone should be proud of fee. today, she's on her way to the starting point of the Avon 3 day breast cancer walk. she's going to walk 20 miles each day. and sleep in a tent. and then, at the end, she's going to have to escape all the hugging and the crying. cuz i heard a lot of kumbaya shit goes on at the end of the walk. gross. i really wanted her to wear this t-shirt, on the walk.

it's from t-shirts that suck.
it would have ruled.

Posted by jodi at 12:28 PM | Comments (1)

at least the stock's going up....

Adobe Systems Plans Restructuring, Job Cuts in 4th Quarter
Tuesday October 15, 6:39 pm ET

By Marcelo Prince

Dow Jones Newswires

NEW YORK -- Adobe Systems Inc. (NasdaqNM:ADBE - News) said it plans to take a $10 million to $ 14 million restructuring charge for an undisclosed number of job cuts in the current quarter. That could translate into the dismissal of 200 to 300 employees, one analyst said.

continued....

oh goody.

Posted by jodi at 04:22 PM | Comments (0)

the most important thing i learned this week

there is something i forgot, earlier. a new feature to the blog called "the most important thing i learned this week." which i meant to do on sunday. now remember, not every teacher is Buddha, not every lesson is the path to enlightenment, and not every story has a moral. sometimes, some weeks, all you can handle are the simple lessons. the little things. you know? i'm not depak chopra, here. so don't put that kind of pressure on me. i can't handle it man!

as is evidence by this week's lesson. but if you have ever read "the mezzanine" by nicholson baker, you will know how happy this little lesson made me. this lesson falls under the category of "helpful hints." i like drinking with straws. maybe i'm orally fixated, i don't know. however, i also sometimes drink soda from a can. you can't use a straw with soda pop in a can, cuz it floats up and out of the can. unless you refrain from the 2nd half of the opening procedure, when flipping the little ring on the can of soda pop. leave the ring over the opening usually reserved for your mouth, do not push it back out of the way, and stick the straw through the hole of the ring! it stays put! genius! got that from my coworker molly. and if she had been at work today, i would have thanked her.

Posted by jodi at 08:34 PM | Comments (0)

baby elephant walk

i went to the zoo this weekend, with evildeb and baby maggie. and i think i may not be the best person for zoos. or maybe it's just my mood. but they make me kinda sad. the bunnies in the "family farm" made me downright mad. they just had bunnies in a hutch. and one of them was a grey mini rex, looked a lot like the B. but i don't understand why the chickens deserve a place to romp and play and be free range, when the bunnies don't. they just have to sit there, in boxes. for the rest of their lives. i may start a campaign to build a new "rabbit habitat."

most of the animals were hiding, as is typical whenever i am there. we weren't there very long, and come to think of it, i saw absolutely zero big cats. and they are my favorite. but i did see the baby elephant, hansa. i have to say, we have a kick ass "elephant habitat," at our zoo. apparently we love the elephants. just not the bunnies.

but the most shocking events of the weekend had nothing to do with the zoo. i did the weirdest thing. no, i did not go out saturday night. get real. i'm still me. i cleaned. happily, and with malicious intent to accomplish something. i reorganized the desk. which isn't really cleaning, i like doing that. but vacuumed the house, i cleaned up and organized the cd's. i took books to the Half Price Books to sell, i did 4 loads of laundry... it kept going on like this. throughout the weekend. it was pretty scary. i think it freaked pru out.

you'd think with that kind of productivity, over the weekend, i'd start monday with a happy and enthusiastic heart. but i'm in a poopy mood. however, at the same time, i've already accomplished the few things i had on my checklist. i only put a few things, because since i've come back from my time off, i have not been working at my full potential. i've been getting about half as much as normal done. maybe i'm back up to my normal speed? i don't know. i'm still not in a good mood.

Posted by jodi at 10:08 AM | Comments (1)

oh that's what alberta looks like!!

today, on my drive to work, i saw a car that had a map of canada in it's window. it was an outline map of the northern half of north america, with the provinces mapped out, each in a different color, with it's name in the middle of it. all areas of land that were not part of canada were transparent. wait, that's not quite right, the entire northern territory was transparent as well. it took up the entire dirver's side rear window. and i just thought that was an odd car decal. that's all. and why didn't the northern territory deserve a color? i mean, i can see why they might do that to quebec, just for fun, but what's the northern territory done to deserve transparency?

Posted by jodi at 09:20 PM | Comments (0)

less is not more, scientifically, it has been shown to indeed be LESS

in my hororscope in the october issue of Jane magazine, it says "to you, less is not more, it's less." and boy is that true. i just had to reitterate that.

i've been worrying a lot about money. a whole lot. and shitload of a lot. i really hate money. but not in that, i just want to do without material possessions and be a minimalist way. but in, i want more. i want security and i want the freedom it gives me. freedom to buy toys, freedom to travel, freedom to take care of the ones i love. if that's shallow, than just don't lay face down in me, baby. [because it's been shown that you can drown in 3 inches of water. i think.] i don't fuckin' care if it is shallow. for me to pretend to be feel any differently would be a lie. and which is worse, being what some would consider shallow? or a total and complete fake? i think you know my answer.

i don't think i am a snob. i don't think that i need more and more stuff to make me feel complete. but you know what? i like to buy shoes!! i like it. it's FUN! like... it could be considered a hobby, it's that much fun. the same with books. i could spend hours and hours in bookstores. and happily walk out with a stack of books. and what if i don't get the chance to read them all? so what? i walk out with a stack full of wonder and possibility. and i can sell them at Half Price Books for someone else to enjoy, if i did not.

you know what else i like? i like buying stuff for people. i like to buy them stuff they wouldn't buy themselves. because they can't afford it. or don't know it exists, but i do. and i know it's perfect for them. i'd have to say that is my favorite hobby. buying presents for people.

and now i am in a financial pickle. and i can't do any of those things. and i don't know when i am going to be able to do them again. not for a long time. and i HATE it. it goes against everything i am. i'm not a frugal person. i don't clip coupons and i don't shop sales. [i don't shop sales because i hate crowds of aggressive shoppers. it's unpleasant and detracts from the fun. i'd rather shop online.] i don't want to be this girl i am going to have to be for the next few years. it's that bad. stupid IRS. but it's my own fault.

the only thing i can figure out is, i am going to have to find a way to make money on my own. did i mention that we are going to have lay offs between now and the end of the quarter? yeah. we are. hopefully i'll be fine. but i hate that feeling the entire company has, that worry. i don't want to be dependent on anyone. and the most independent thing i can come up with, that suits me, is a best selling author. that's my plan. i'm going to have to be a best selling author. that's my plan. and maybe i'll get started tonight. after CSI.

Posted by jodi at 07:06 PM | Comments (1)

dance, puppet, dance...

if you feel like you've lost control over your own life, this might make you feel better...
puppet man

or it might creep you out.

Posted by jodi at 10:53 AM | Comments (0)

let's get these boobies started... part two

you know what, i'm officially tired of discussing my breasts. so let's just wrap this up short form, ok?
- first 3 days were the worst
- pain was totally managable.
- breasts are swollen and engorged for about a week and a half to two.
- still have nipple sensation. currently hyper sensation.
- it's hard not using my arms.
- i never felt nauseous.

the single most suprising thing about the whole procedure was the amount of energy it took from me. i figured that if i felt good, i would feel like doing stuff, and going places. not so. it wiped me out and it took a couple of weeks+ to really get back to normal. lots of sleeping. lots.

there. that should do it. i'm happy to talk about it, if you have any questions, let me know. i'll tell you all you want to know. it's just not the formost thing on my mind. i just had my month check up. in two weeks i get to wear normal bras and use my arms again. and everything will be as it was. only smaller and perkier. with much much much cuter nipples.

Posted by jodi at 02:40 PM | Comments (0)

let's get these boobies started... part one.

ok. i've been meaning to do this for many many days. i feel like i can't write about anything else in blog until i get this over with. the breast reduction story. so let's get started. it's also appropriate since i am sitting here, topless, waiting for the vitamin e gel to absorb before putting my sports bra back on. it's going to be much shorter than it would have been a week after the fact, since so much has happened since. but maybe that's a blessing.

the reduction was on the 12th of sept. it was a 4 hour surgery. which is a pretty long surgery, when you think about it. my friend mary had a lumpectomy, in which they removed one tumor and 15 nodes, it only took an hour and a half. and that's cancer, dude. anyway, i arrived early in the morning and i was surprised at how quickly they got started. i remember going into the o.r., and them telling me that they were giving me the anesthetic, and that it would take about 5 seconds to kick in. i was talking to the nurse, nancy, about my french braids, i remarked that this "felt creepy." and i was out. next thing i remember, i'm being wheeled through hallways to my room. by this time, it was mid to late afternoon. i don't know exactly, i was out of it.

now my mom pattie, keeps remarking at how alert i was when i got there. i answered questions and even made wise cracks. but to be honest, i don't remember it that way. but once i was in bed, i do remember them explaining my best friend to me. the self administered demerol. "the button." dr. n told me, before the surgery, that i would have no appetite. that maybe i'd manage some ice chips at first, to deal with the thirst. and work my way up to water later that evening. but when the nurse asked me if i wanted water, i said yes. and 20 minutes later i said yes to grape juice.

time is blurry from then on. my mom went to get chapstick for me, because my lips looked dry, and evildeb showed up. she gave me presents from the team, and from her. including a picture of maggie. i'm sure i had some sort of conversation with her. i don't know. we'll have to ask her. i know my mom left for a while, probably to go have some dinner with bob. i ended up eating dinner. it was all beige. vanilla pudding, milk shake, applesauce, "pureed soup" of a chicken sort. but i was kicking this procedure's ass. my biggest concern was that i would feel nauseous. but you know, i never did. kicked it's ass, i'm telling you. ron [stepdad] was there during dinner. and then my mom came back. and my aunt and uncle. pattie was so sweet, she volunteered to stay and spend the night in the chair, but i was fine.

i'm spending way too much time on the hospital, aren't i? i'll tried to speed it up. well, i peed like a champ [they like that sort of thing there], was off the demerol by 2 am, and on to percocet, and had breakfast as well. and left 3 hours ahead of schedule. the whole kicking ass thing again. you don't sleep a lot, or at least all at once, in a hospital, so i was looking forward to going home.

let's call that part one, of the recovery story. and continue tomorrow with the next week, at home, tomorrow.

Posted by jodi at 08:41 PM | Comments (0)