faster pussycat... type! type!

And, isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit!

the old animated tick series is the best source for quotes ever.

i doubt i'm going crazy, but i am pretty damn screwed up in the mood department right now. if i do have a crazy breakdown, i will try to post to the blog before they lock me up, ok? maybe i'll have internet access in the asylum.

thank god i see my shrink on weds. and double thank god i have a holiday break coming up. if i can make it through friday, at least i won't have to come to work until the 2nd of jan. so i can be good an crazy for about 12 full days.

saturday i went downtown with the evil family, to have dinner and xmas shop. trouble is, we got a late start and barely had any time to shop before things were closing. but that's ok. because the minute i got there i knew it was a mistake for me to be there. i just started stressing out about chirstmas presents. and i was annoyed by all the people. and i dressed too warmly. and i wanted to be home. i tried my best to keep most of that whining too myself. i didn't see many xmas lights, or decorations. i did see some. i drove, so i couldn't have cocktails. having cocktails and then shopping downtown is awesome. you should always drink alcohol when you are xmas shopping, as long as you are of legal age and aren't driving. it makes everything so much more fun. i'm not talking drunk. just a little buzz. [[pattie would not like hearing me say that! oy!]]

i'm sorry i am so down right now. i'm sure that my updates are depressing. i don't really know what to say. i don't want to pour the darkest dregs of my soul out into this blog, because no one needs that. but it's hard to not acknowledge that my depression is as bad as it's been in about 5 years. i'm trying to do something about it, tho. hopefully it will improve.

want to see my all time favorite picture of myself? it's from christmas morning, i think 1970 or so... i'm about 3. the night before, "santa" had come to our house in person, he gave me the yellow teddy bear shown in the picture. which i named teeny bear, and i still have him today and occaisionally sleep with him. anyway, i think this pictures sums up a great deal about my personality, even today.

Posted by jodi at 12:48 PM | Comments (0)

angel baby

... and then... when i realized that the camera was on me, and people [santa] was watching...

Posted by jodi at 10:31 AM | Comments (2)

wheeeeee!!!

so, as you can see, i've been messing about with the design. i've changed the home page as well. i would not say everything is done. but i decided i just couldn't stand that purple anymore. it was only supposed to be temporary.

alright, i'm very very tired now. i've had 3 days of os x training, which i enjoyed a great deal, as naturally i would. but between work and home, i've spent too much time in front of a computer and i think it's affecting my brain.

look for the design/layout to get some final touches in the next few weeks.

ps: i changed the date's to french, just for fun. because that is an option in movabletype. i thought it was tres cosmopolitan of me.

Posted by jodi at 11:13 PM | Comments (0)

If you start out depressed everything's kind of a pleasant surprise.

i've been pretty quiet, i know. and here is why:

Definition of depression. to be considered clinically depressed, you need to be feeling at least five of the following symptoms for about two weeks. that's a lose guide.

- Persistent feelings of sadness, irritability or anxiety
- Overreaction to irritations
- Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed, including sex
- Sleep too much, or sleep too little
- Unexpected loss or gain of weight
- Tiredness or restlessness
- Slowed movement, thought and/or speech
- Guilt, low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness
- Inability to concentrate and poor memory
- Loss of motivation
- Feelings of hopelessness
- Suicidal thoughts and/or behavior
- Withdrawal from relationships, anti-social behavior
- Physical aches and pains that seem to have no other cause

and i've been experiencing 8 of them, for more than two weeks. actually, since about july. adjusted some meds, and at first, i thought it might work. but it was temporary. i was probably just feeling better because i was doing something about it. that didn't last. once i did not get a temporary xmas job IMMEDIATELY my spirits fell directly to the floor.

so poor little depressed jodi... what's she going to do? increase her meds and she her shrink, that's what. don't worry... it's just been especially bad the last few weeks. i'll be ok.

title is a quote from "say anything" which is one of the best movies of all time as we all know.

here is a little xmas picture of me at about 3 to cheer you up, after all my depression talk. don't i look EVIL? i do. bet i made the naughty list that year.

and maybe we need a picture of eddie izzard. because who can be uncheered when thinking of eddie izzard?

look! he's a bunny!

Posted by jodi at 06:44 PM | Comments (5)

a rebuttal and a community service announcement

evildeb, you are definitely NOT my sweet pea. and no matter how often you comment, and you are welcome to comment as often as you chose, this will not become your blog because your comments do not show up on the main page. so HA! however, since you bought me that pin-up girl book, i will let your snarky comments pass. this time.

As a community service, here are the lyrics to Adeste Fideles, in latin. Which is more fun than O Come All Ye Faithfull. Less obviously jesusy.

Adeste fideles,
laeti triumphantes,
Venite, venite
in Bethlehem!
Natum videte,
Regem angelorum,
Venite adoremus,
Venite adoremus,
Venite adoremus
Dominum. ---------
Cantet nunc Io!
chorus angelorum;
Cantet nunc
aula caelestium:
Gloria, gloria,
in excelsis Deo:
Venite adoremus,
Venite adoremus,
Venite adoremus
Dominum. ---------

Posted by jodi at 03:00 PM | Comments (11)

i have just one thing to say....

Posted by jodi at 01:56 PM | Comments (3)

i hate it when you keep secrets from me...

have you heard of this?

From NaNoWriMo.org:

National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.

Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over talent and craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.

Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.

Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that's a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.

As you spend November writing, you can draw comfort from the fact that, all around the world, other National Novel Writing Month participants are going through the same joys and sorrows of producing the Great Frantic Novel. Wrimos meet throughout the month to offer encouragement, commiseration, and -- when the thing is done -- the kind of raucous celebrations that tend to frighten animals and small children.

Last year, we had 5000 participants. Over 700 of them crossed the 50k finish line by the midnight deadline, entering into the annals of NaNoWriMo superstardom forever. They started the month as auto mechanics, out-of-work actors, and middle school English teachers. They walked away novelists.

So, to recap:

What: Writing one 50,000-word novel from scratch in a month's time.

Who: You! We can't do this unless we have some other people trying it as well. Let's write laughably awful yet lengthy prose together.

Why: The reasons are endless! To actively participate in one of our era's most enchanting art forms! To write without having to obsess over quality. To be able to make obscure references to passages from your novel at parties. To be able to mock real novelists who dawdle on and on, taking far longer than 30 days to produce their work.

When: Writing begins November 1, 2002. To be added to the official list of winners, the 50,000-word mark must be reached by November 30 at midnight. Once your novel has been verified by our web-based team of robotic word counters, the partying begins.

how come i didn't know about this? i so completely need to do this! i cannot believe i found out about it at the end of nov. dammit. i'm doing this next year.

Posted by jodi at 01:24 PM | Comments (1)

if you don't have anything interesting to say....

hi. long time no write. sorry. bad jodi. first i was sick, then it was thanksgiving, then i was in san jose for cousin jon's wedding. now i am back. so here i am.

i actually don't have much to say at this minute. i might have more later. maybe i am just popping in to say i am not gone. i'm working on a new design for the site, as well. hopefully soon.

Posted by jodi at 11:26 AM | Comments (0)