faster pussycat... type! type!

Ok, like, we can't eat that much popcorn and drink that much soda. For the love of God! No one can!

the quote, lisa, from the 21st, is from a book called "a woman of independent means" by elizabeth something with an F hailey. i think it's been made into a Lifetime movie channel miniseries at one point, i am sure. i have actually never read the book, but i have seen the quote. i had to look it up, because i could not remember it word for word. in actuality, i may remember quotes when i see them, but i am not good at reciting them word for word. but it's apropos, right?

if last holiday weekend was brought to you by the seedy sexual underbelly of society, as well as sleeping too much. we are now brought to you buy soda pop. last week, we began an ubermoment when fee brought up san pellegrino's aranciata and limonata soda pop. and then elle said, oh it's so funny you should bring that up, because i found out about the san pellegrino aranciata and limonata for the first time the other day... and so on. but two does not make an ubermoment. it takes three. and that was me, seeing the aranciata in larry's market and deciding to give it a try. it's num num good. but the bottles or cans are wee tiny small. i could drink six in one sitting. i need to try the limonata. i love lemon stuff. larry's was out.

but then, to continue the soda pop theme, steve, evildeb and i took a walk down the street to real soda. i wanted to see if they had any of the dr pepper made with real cane sugar. the old fashioned kind, the way they used to make it. they say, if you are a pepper, it's the only way to go. and we all know i am pepper. they didn't have any, that i saw. but i had already gotten a hankerin' for it. real soda is not a store, but a distributor that does have a little walk up business. i guess. there was no one around when we walked in. they say, on their website, if you want to purchase soda online, to visit sodaking.com. but soda king sells it by the bottle. 99 cents each. whereas the dublin, tx bottling plant sells it by the case. they are the only plant left to use real cane sugar, and the dr pepper that comes from the plant is called dublin dr pepper. and yet, it's not irish! go figure. i bought my case, but, after taxes, shipping was only $2 less than the case. soo... i think we'll have to have a little talk with real soda. to see how i can get a case from them, now and then.

but just think about it... a nice cold bottle of sugared up dr pepper, from the back of the fridge, where it gets nice and slushy, on a warm summer evening, in your breezeless third floor apartment, listening to your annoying french neighbor, practice the electric bass.... thumpa-thumpa-thumpa. over and over and over. before you use the fuel found from your sugared up dr pepper to go next door and KILL HIM!! mmmm.... sounds delightful!

Posted by jodi at 03:27 PM | Comments (3)

Wonderful! And while we're at it, we can light up a doobie and watch porn!

this past weekend, a five day weekend for me, was brought to you by the seamy sexual underbelly of society. nice use of alliteration, huh? first, i came home on thursday night, to find a notice posted above the mail boxes. the notice stated that i should expect contact from a certain officer, from my city's police department. because i have, living in my apartment building, a registered sex offender. in fact, he'd been living there for years, but he'd recently been recoded a level 2 sex offender. which meant that i had the right to know he was there. i don't know if this means he's offended some more people, sexually, or if there has been some kind of national code range review, and sex offenders of his type have recently been upgraded to level 2. anyway, he's into the child molestation, so i am safe. attached to the notice was another notice about "keeping your kids safe." to be held at a local church somewhere. this is important because the notice itself soon moved to the third floor. my floor. i don't know if they were trying to tell us that not only was he in my building, but on my floor as well. we don't normally have notices posted on our floor. but, the important part, i've not received any communication. from officer whoosiwhat, or from my apartment manager or anything. in fact, the notice is now gone. so, i'm wondering if it was a copy of a notice, from some other random building. but used in such a way to encourage people to attend this "keeping your kids safe" thing at the church. then, once they have you in the church, THEY SUCK OUT YOUR SOUL FOR JESUS!!! it's quite possible.

secondly, i recently told fee about my porn email address. this is an email address i set up only because i needed some porn. you see, and this was a long time ago, i needed to get some revenge on jordan, who lives in nyc. when she first moved there, she spent a lot of time chatting on line. and, being jordan, she attracted all the freaks. she encourages them. she had lots of nekkid pictures sent to her. lots and lots. and she would send them to me, without warning. to shock me. so i had to get some to send back to her. it was a game, you see. and you have to give them an email. and sometimes a credit card, even for the "free preview." it bothers me a lot more to give my email address, than my credit card. i didn't want the spam. so now, years later, i have this address that receives only the porn spam. i never check it. it's very handy. i decided to clear it out this weekend and received 201 porn spam emails. of every type. i had no idea that bestiality had made it into the mainstream porn spam categories. neat. jordan and i have played other porn games, [porn games are, fyi, 50x's better for your health than war games, by the way. someone should inform world leaders.] i once sent her a care package. i packed everything up in wadded up pages from a gay porn magazine. only the pretty pictures, if you know what i mean. wink wink, nudge nudge. ironically, she was never able to open the attachments i sent, when i flooded her mailbox with porn. if i remember correctly.

but that is actually only the first part of the weekend. the rest of the weekend was brought to you by sleeping all day and staying up all night. now, i promised myself i would spend some time getting organized today. and so i am going to go do that. at work, of course, i'd need a month of wednesdays to get organized at home.

Posted by jodi at 02:32 PM | Comments (0)

Please write again soon. Though my own life is filled with activity, letters encourage momentary escape into others lives and I come back to my own with greater contentment.

Lisa said, "Nice "Buffy" quote Jodi. But you should have quoted something from the episode in which Buffy is in a mental ward because you are living in a dream world."

good job on the quote, li-loo. no one ever tries to guess where they are from. even if i offer bonus points. i chose to ingore your remark about my dream world. but, in my dream world, you are currently living with 12 cats and make a living by crocheting tea cozies for the blind. your life can improve, in my dream world. but you will need to adjust your attitude. missy.

the above quote is dedicated to you, li-loo. but i doubt you'll find it as easy to identify. and yes, bonus points* will be awarded.

hey... if you comment on my blog, you too can get entire enteries aimed at you and you alone! fun! be the center of attention!!

*as previously stated: bonus points aren't really good for anything. you can't trade them in for prizes. they don't get you extra days off with pay, or more stock options, or extra credit. bonus points exist simply to make you feel superior to those around you. and who can put a price on that? you can't. it's priceless.

Posted by jodi at 12:45 PM | Comments (1)

You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend!

today is brought to you by the word "delusional"

you know. i used to think it was kind of cute, the way lisa lived in a little fantasy world. a world in which she could just step in and steal people's boyfriends. but now i worry about her. frankly, j.c. [AKA my boyfriend] is starting to get a little freaked out by her behavior. her grasp on reality is tenuous at best. must be all that thinking in four dimensions.

it all comes back to sexy french vampires, doesn't it lisa? at least in our world.

in addition to hunting bugs visible only int he 4th dimension, pru also hunts q-tips. and there is nothing funnier than seeing a kitten walk around with a q-tip in her mouth, like a chronic smoker. i need to get a picture of it. maybe, later when i am at work, she hangs out with other kitten punks, q-tips dangling from the sides of their mouths, looking all tough and badass. i don't know what she does with the q-tips, but if i put on down on the counter, she grabs it and dashes off. she tries to get them out of the jar, but she can't get her big fat cat head in now. it was easier when she was tiny.

my little brother just told me he is invading the west coast next month. sounds like he's going to hit from one end to another. just a warning, kids. it's about time he came back, he's a native. he needs to return to his homeland.

ok. back to reviewing the user guide. i'm tech reviewing. and currently i am doing some of the most tedious features known to my product. they are cool features, but they are... teadious. je déteste des tables des matières !

Posted by jodi at 12:23 PM | Comments (1)

There should be more math! This could be mathier.

time for "deep thoughts on a saturday night." a game social losers like me like to play. oh, by the way, happy norwegian constitution day!! it's may 17th!! something else only social losers like myself would know. but only if they used to live in ballard, along the parade route.

my cousin scott recently adopted a new cat. his cat, gracie, died after a long life. she was 17. scott said that he did not want to get a kitten, as they are always adopted out, they are so cute. he wanted a CAT. a cat that had been in the shelter for a while. maybe one that was always passed over for the cute little kittens? he adopted a 14 pound black cat, which he named sofie. apparently she has a variety of meows. one of which is a siamese type.

the reason i bring this up.. i was talking to my cousins about our cats. i mentioned that pru hunts invisible bugs on the wall. scott said oh no... they aren't invisible, cats see in four dimensions. which made sense to me at the time, i have no idea why. later... probably while trying to fall asleep, i said FOUR dimensions? hang on there... isn't the fourth dimension time? to the best of my knowledge, scott was neither high nor drunk. maybe i misunderstood him. but i decided to look it up anyway. turns out, cats can discern movement at a much faster rate than humans, even when there is very little. which is why they like to watch tv. they are fascinated by it. but they don't see the fourth dimension.

because the 4th dimension is fucking hard to understand!! it's a freakin' tesseract people!! like in a wrinkle in time? you want a visual representation of the 4th dimension, in your 3d world? you have to be able to cross one i at a time to see it. luckily, i can do this. think of it this way, we have 3 ways to move in space right now. forward/backward. left/right. up/down. each of these directions are perpendicular to each other. no one direction is made of of any other directions. you can go forward and back all you want, and you won't be going left or right as well. you can't. sooo... the 4th direction would have to somehow be perpendicular to the 3 directions we already know. right? got it?

ok, i can't really visualize it either. and i had to read about 8 different web pages to understand it. the visualization of the 4th dimension is called the hypercube. and this pageis the best explanation i could find. i plagiarized it in the paragraph above.

you want to have more fun with the fourth dimension, go read Flatland by edwin a. abbot. the whole thing is online. makes your brain bigger. give a whirl.

Posted by jodi at 11:11 PM | Comments (1)

Flowers are simply tarts; prostitutes for the bees.

hey, you know what? eddie izzard, whom we LOVE, updated his website. and now it has all sorts of fun stuff on it. you should go look at it. you should go now. if you register on the website, you get advance notice of tour dates. supposedly. so i did. because i am so there when, not if, he comes to seattle.

and hey, let's use a picture of eddie to segue into another topic. [because... see.. he's using a MAC.]

i'm in love with the new apple music store. i'm especially in love with it, since i got it working at work. i am having a problem with a song that i bought at home. it won't play at work. even though my account is authorized for two computers. it keeps asking me to authenticate for the song. i do, but it doesn't take. i have not yet tried to play the songs i purchased at work, at home. i'll have to test that. anyway, it's driving me nuts, this other song. despite my great love for the music store. i pity the pc users.

and if that were not enough apple goodness, the retail store finally opened in my mall! i actually got to see a real live 17 inch powerbook previously, i had only seen pictures. it's a beautiful thing. gorgeous. sure, it's wider than norm. but it's so skinny! and beautiful. sigh. i want one. but i also want one of the new iPods. i want so many things. what i GOT was the new processor upgrade for my g4. for $90 less than they were 4 weeks ago. NICE. it's been shipped. i should have it any day.

man.. i'm just geek babbling now. that's not all that interesting. i'm going to go get a frosty at wendy's.

Posted by jodi at 11:41 AM | Comments (0)

Never let it be said that your anal-retentive attention to detail never yielded positive results.

in addition to an intense need for instant gratification, i also have an inability to pay attention to the details. i have so many little bits of things to do right now, at work, i can't figure out what to do. so i do nothing. it's easier. ok... i do stuff. but i feel unfocused. i'm going to make a list, i suppose.

i fixed the brain. if by fixing, you mean losing everything and starting over with a completely new board from a completely different source. if that's fixing, then i sure did fix it. hooray me!! that's ok, i guess. i like this new board much better. it has more functionality and it's prettier. pretty counts... you get extra points for aesthetics.

lisa cracks me up. i like it when she comments on me.

Posted by jodi at 02:35 PM | Comments (1)

i am jodi's broken bbs3k

when i do something, i like to go all the way, give it the best effort i've got. as long as the best effort does not require too much energy. so, when i was trying to add a registration approval hack to the bbs3k, and things started to go wrong, i didn't just remove the edits and return the board to it's previously unhacked state. no. acting on a tip from an unnamed source on the xmb forum, i attempted to upgrade the forum to the 1.8 version. apparently, the 1.6 version i was using was all sorts of icky. we'll there you go, right? the answers to all my problems, that's why the hack wasn't working, it was the version of the code. it's not that i know nothing about php or perl or anything. so, i followed the instructions. it wasn't supposed to change anything on the board, to the naked eye. the posts should still be there, the users would still be registered, the theme would remain. riiiiiight.

needless to say, it didn't work. everything was lost. and to top it off, i can't register the board so that we can even re-register and start over from scratch. it thinks i am still logged in, even though there are no registered users, and it keeps prompting me to register. sigh.

so that's the status as of now. i am working with someone on the xmb forum. they keep giving me different config.php files to try. and none of them are working. but i haven't given up. yet.

Posted by jodi at 11:40 AM | Comments (3)

Now look here... Jo-LENE! I have an army to raise and I must get to Managua at once! I require a window seat and an in-flight Happy Meal. BUT NO PICKLES! OH, GOD HELP YOU IF I FIND PICKLES!

today's title quote is dedicated to steve, even though he does not read my blog. it's baby stewie, from "family guy." steve thinks he IS baby stewie. i'll take his word for it.

sent to the mr.snotty list today, baby stewie himself sent this. some t-shirts in poor taste. really poor taste. so poor, i actually find one of them offensive. if you can guess which one, you get a cookie. a virtual browser cookie. ooooo... lucky you!

also from baby stewie [this is why the title is dedicated to steve] this press announcement:

Electronic Arts today announced that The Sims 2 , the next generation of the No. 1 PC game of all time, is in development at the company's Walnut Creek-based Maxis studio: "For the first time, players control their Sims over an entire lifetime. Every choice that is made has a relevant and dramatic effect on the life of a Sim. More life-like Sims, all-new gameplay, and the ground-breaking addition of genetics, with the DNA of Sims passed down through generations gives players a more vivid, realistic, and in-depth Sims experience. All of this takes place in a new amazingly life-like 3-D world." The Sims 2 will also introduce an all-new "Create-A-Sim" feature, which allows users to customize the facial features of their Sim to a level of detail never realized before. In The Sims 2, players are now able to build dwellings over two stories and have the ability to coordinate and customize the homes of their Sims to a new degree of design with all-new furniture, lighting and objects. It will debut on May 13th at the Electronic Entertainment Exposition in Los Angeles and is scheduled to ship in early 2004; however, no Mac-specific information was provided.

can. you. believe. that. shit? i will be A GOD!! of course, not until they make a mac version. i need a god worthy machine to do my godstuff.

Posted by jodi at 04:44 PM | Comments (1)