faster pussycat... type! type!

But let's face facts, you never overcame the inherent flaws in your personality subroutine.

it's too freakin' hot here in seattle right now. i think my brain is stewing inside my head. we are not a people who deal well with weather in the 90's. i'm not a person who deals well with weather over 74, actually.

so yesterday we took the afternoon to avoid work and take something called the Strength Deployment Inventory. S.D.I. it's a personality test. i'm sorry, it's actually "an inventory of your strengths when dealing with others." it had two basic parts. your tendencies when things are "going well." and what happens when you are engaged in conflict. there are three basic types, that are differentiated by colors; red, green and blue. you can also be an equal mix off all three, called a HUB, or rainbow. and you can also be a blend. like a red blue.

i am a blue. altruistic - nurturing. characteristics are trusting, loyal, helpful, modest, devoted, caring, supporting. i like helping people.

a red would be assertive - directive: self confident, ambitious, persuasive, forceful, quick to act, competitive, risk taker. a green would be analytic - autonomizing. cautious, reserved, methodical, analytical, principled, fair and preserving. and a hub would be flexible - cohering; flexible, open to change, socializer, experimenter, adaptable, tolerant, looking for options. blends would take qualities from the two colors. and of course, everyone has the qualities of all three colors, in actuality.

it was more interesting to find out about my conflict characteristics. i'm a [gb]r. which means i in green during stage one, blue during stage two, and red during stage three. because of my score, my blue and green are blended. briefly:
stage one: concerns include yourself, others, and the problem.
stage two: concerned about yourself and the problem.
stage three: yourself - self preservation and survival.

in a nutshell that means i will first step back and shut down, withdrawal. that does not mean i am giving up, it means i am getting my ducks in a row, gathering my facts, and evaluating whether or not the conflict is worth it. as i move into stage two, it because more emotional. i'm apt to say "whatever. do it your way, i don't care." but if you get me in stage three - you are gonna get it. i'm going to try to maintain peace, but keep a careful eye on the personal cost, if pushed to stage three i will fight for my rights, as a last resort and possibly EXPLOSIVELY!! that rules. it actually said that part.

stage three isn't common, especially in the work place. but the trainer told us to think about times we've been pushed that far. if red was our third stage, did we remember it as being BAAAAD. and it's true. it takes a LOT to get me there... but when you do, it's the big guns. i've dropped people from my life because of stage three, with no warning and no discussion. and i'm pretty sure that that's why brad told mom that i scared him... the two times he pushed me that far, since we've become adults.

so... don't piss me off.

all in all, i give this personality test 3.25 brains out of five. it's interesting, especially the conflict pieces. but i didn't think it was as informative as the meyer briggs or anything.

Posted by jodi at 03:19 PM | Comments (3)

Gentlemen! If I cut my own head off with sufficient force, the blood will rocket out my neck and propel my body to Phoenix!

oh just cut off my head already! enough with the pressure and the throbbing ear pain. i'm over it.

i have a dr's appt. this afternoon to have my head removed, as it is infected. i will either have my head removed, or they will give me an antibiotic. one of the two.

my apartment is not finished, i still have a bit of the front hall, the bathroom and my bedroom left. my bedroom is the worst. but, while emailing fee, i came up with a plan that will help me deal with the laundry carpet, without actually doing all that laundry. i'll shove it all to one side, vacuum, shove it all to the other side, vacuum. and then i will separate it into color piles. then i will set a basket full of CLEAN laundry, next to the piles. [i do intend on doing at least one load this afternoon] along with the soap, and the bottle of downy. then it will look like all those clothes are on the floor on purpose, because i am in THE MIDST of doing laundry. "what a good girl! doing all that laundry. her mother must be so proud. i bet some of that laundry belongs to little bald children with cancer, who can't do their own laundry."

i forgot that, at least for me, short hair requires more work than long hair. bleh.

7:13 pm

my brilliant laundry plan is more work than i thought it would be. who knew that stuff would live under all the clothes? i'm finding books and cd's i haven't seen in months. oh, and did i mention that every single piece of clothing i own is dirty. i think i've been washing the same tshirt, shorts and underwear over and over and over, and ignoring every other article of clothing. i'm trying to finish it up before i do the vacuum, because i don't want to vacuum too late in the evening. i think the people below me have a baby. aren't i considerate?

i napped after i came home from the dr [yes, my head is infected.] so, in theory, i could stay up and clean for hours and hours and hours. ha! the later it gets, the less i care what people think.

won't you be happy when it's tomorrow, and it will be too late to do anything else about it, so i'll quit talking about it?

Posted by jodi at 11:58 AM | Comments (0)

Someone's got to stand the heat and stay in the kitchen. Someone's got to don the oven mitts of all that's right and strangle the red-hot throat of all that's wrong.

in all my infinite wisdom, i decided to find out exactly what this annual inspection is all about. for all i know, they could simply be checking to see if your front door opens properly. in which case, you wouldn't have to pick up the carpeting of clothes on your bedroom floor. so i stopped by the management office to ask. but NO - they walk through the entire apartment, looking at carpeting and appliances. although they don't touch anything. coughing in the assistant managers face, i yelled, "god dammit! do you HEAR that cough? can you sense how congested i am? my right ear is completely plugged up and throbbing in pain. does that sound healthy to you? does this sound like a girl who should be cleaning an apartment which going to get into the 90's later? i ask you?!@!"

no i didn't. i said, "umm. ok. can i have parking space two back? you accidentally gave it away and i've been parking in 1, and i like 2 better and that guy moved out." so i got my old parking spot back.

it's true about the ear though. i think there is something wrong with it. i'm going to clean the kitchen anyway.

Posted by jodi at 12:04 PM | Comments (0)

Since I'm a Queen of my word, you're free to go and pursue the blanket or bed covering of your choice.

1:55 pm
i had a short, itty bitty bit of motivation last night. about 1/20th the amount of motivation i need to clean the entire apartment. but it's gone now. unfortunate.

so, i decided to cut my hair. i just had six inches cut off. six inches the shortest part. it's now above my shoulders. take THAT messy apartment!!!

pictures may come later. we'll see.

5:23 pm

when all else fails, and you cannot find inspiration within your home, it's best to search for outside sources. that can only mean one thing. linen's n' things. i got a set of lime green jersey knit tshirt sheets for $19, on sale. lime green! summer freshness! they are groovy. it's ok, tho. i needed a new set. my favorite sheets, the grey jersey, have holes. the laundry place that sometimes does my laundry accidentally put them in a load of whites with bleach. but they are the softest! nonetheless, they are dying. and that leaves me with only.... three sets of jersey knit sheets!! and two flannel. ok. i have a bedding issue. whatever. i also got a giant dark charcoal grey floor mat for the kitchen - $9. so i won't have to clean the floor as carefully! ha! i'm kidding. everyone knows is the edges you miss, not the middle. a mat wouldn't do any good. sheesh.

i think i've finally cleared the living room/ dining room/ office of "empties."

7:55 pm

i accidentally took a nap. oops.

i'm too the point where i am making deals with myself to do a simple couple of minutes of cleaning. this does not make for fast progress. however.... i don't have time to talk about it, as i told myself i could go to barnes and noble if i emptied the dishwasher. but i have to do a load of laundry when i get back.

10:14 pm

there are all levels of clean. think of it like maslow's hierarchy of needs, we need to make sure the basics are met, before we even approach self actualization. this particular go around, we are going to be lucky not to be caught nekkid, looking for shelter, metaphorically speaking. my basic requirements? total and complete strangers need to be able to enter my apartment, while i am not there, for about two minutes, without tripping over anything while they walk. and at no time should the follow phrases be uttered "what's the smell?" "oh her POOR MOTHER!" or "have you had a tetnus shot in the last five years?" that's all i require for success.

you know what? i'm typing without spell check right now! living on the edge.

Posted by jodi at 01:55 PM | Comments (1)

Good morning, gentlemen. ACME pollution inspection. We're cleaning up the world, we thought this was a suitable starting point.

ok, here's the deal. next week, the managers at my apartment complex are conducting their annual inspection. which, in the past, has happened every three years. however, last year we got new managers, and they apparently take the annual part seriously. my building will be inspected on tuesday.

you know what this means. yes. exactly. i have to clean. everyone loves it when i whine about cleaning. i think the last time i had to clean the apartment, it was for bookclub. and i got out of that. so god only knows when the last time the entire place has been clean. all of it. probably last year's annual inspection. or when i was recovering from sugery last sept, because i remember my mom cleaning a lot while i took drugs.

anyway, what would a weekend of cleaning my fucked up apartment be if i didn't cry about it online, while in the midst? you would be disppointed. you'd be let down. you'd think i'd forsaken you, dear internet friends. i haven't.

Response to Peg: i checked the tardblog, and it's still there. maybe it was down the day you last visited? or maybe the tards are just out to get you? can't trust those tards.

Posted by jodi at 08:45 PM | Comments (0)

You can walk up to him in Times Square put a gun to his head and pull the fucking trigger and there's nothing they can do about it! Kinda makes you feel all warm and tingly inside don't it?

in my vast new york city experience, times square is highly overrated. in fact, a little times square goes a long long way. at first you area all, "gee! new york, man! broadway!!" but if you spend a few days in times square, if you stay there, you'll get sick of it fast. it's not indicative of new york in general. and it smells. and after a couple of days, i found myself becoming violently polite, in order to illicit some manners from people. i also found myself become less polite in some situations.

case in point, the cheezy souvenir store. i had a dr. pepper in my hand, because it was a bazillion degrees with 1027% humidity... of course i have a bev. anyway, i start to walk into a cheezy souvenir store, with the tshirts that are obviously made by tiny pre-pubescent fingers, in some third-world sweatshop somewhere, and there is a man guarding the door. and as i walk through, he says, "no drink. No Drink! NO DRINK!" because i might damage the fine merchandise by ripping the lid off my soda pop and spilling it all over the racks of tshirts. and i thought, who the hell are YOU to make me choose between shopping - and surviving the summer heat? no one, that's who. you are NO ONE of import or authority in MY life to dictate my drinking habits. so i simply said back to him, "fine, then. no purchase. No Purchase. NO PURCHASE!"

my other problem? the people who did not acknowledge you were purchasing anything from them. somehow, they maintained a sense of denial that they were helping the public, by not interacting with them at all. by friday i was getting in their faces and saying "THANK YOU!!" just to see them flinch.

but you know what i like? greenwich village. that place RULES!! in fact, i like every other single place i went in new york. well, with the exception of chinatown. chinatown can KISS MY ASS! but that's another story for another day.

Posted by jodi at 01:23 PM | Comments (1)

First class, that's what's wrong. It used to be a better meal, now it's a better life.

the best thing about my trip to new york? i volunteered to take a bump on the way there. ended up, they didn't need us. so louise and i flew non-stop first class all the way to new york. it is pretty damn obvious that i belong in first class. we weren't even cool about being upgraded. i mean, we didn't sit there nonchalantly, in first class, accepting our hot towel with knowing looks. we totally spazzed out, "hot towel? heck YEAH i want one. what's it for?" i figure we were either refreshing and amusing; or... we were really really annoying.

the hotel was so fuckin' trendy i can just barely stand it. i know i wasn't trendy enough to stay there. they play house music in the lobby, which they prefer to call the "living room." upstairs, where the rooms are, the hallways are painted entirely black. there is a mosaic of faces on the wall, in the center of which lays a small tv screen which plays mtv 24 hours a day. it's the TRL of hotels. that gets really old really fast. you have to be exceptionally good looking to work there, as well. i encountered two really sunny happy friendly people there. the rest were cool, professional and friendly. you know what i mean? there's a difference. again. i don't belong there.

more on nyc later....

Posted by jodi at 11:08 AM | Comments (0)

Famous people are just more interesting

i'm back! did you miss me? i would have updated from new york, except... well... i couldn't be bothered! sorry. getting online was sometimes tricky. and the powerbook i was using was rilly rilly slow. and... like i said, i couldn't be bothered. and then i got sick!! yes!

so.. so much to say. right now, all i want to do is bitch about the fact that i left my mouse at home, and i am forced to use a single button mouse, with no scroll wheel on my mac, here at work. i can't be expected to work like this, can i? these work environments are not up to standards. its a sad fact that i had to buy that mouse in the first place. [actually, to be honest, i probably could have had one purchased for me, i just didn't bother, i bought it myself.]

on saturday, louise and i checked our luggage, after we checked out of our rooms, so we could wander around until it was time to leave. the bellboy said to me, after hearing my name, that it sounded like i was either a "best selling novelist or an actor." and i said to him, "darling boy... aren't you precious? i am currently an unpublished best selling author! you are so psychic!" no i didn't... i laughed and said, "yeah, either that, or a girl in tech support. one of those three." but i'm telling to truth, he really said that thing about the best selling novelist. i refuse to believe that he says flattering things to everyone about their names. i think it's an OMEN. and i don't mean that in a gregory peck way, either. or maybe he just wanted a tip.

Posted by jodi at 11:14 AM | Comments (0)

You know, I've always wanted a child. And now I think I'll have one... on toast!

ummm... the only meaning behind that title is, i think i trashed Toast, trying to burn a cd. no, not trashed, crashed. yes. i think toast is toast, and so is that cd. and that is why we have floors, people, so we have somewhere to toss the dodgy discs.

all of you use windows. and you are saying to yourselves, Jodi - what the fuck are you talking about? toast what? crashing who? i guess i just live in a macworld all by myself. toast is the software i use to burn cd's. ok?

and, speaking of my macworld, i leave tomorrow morning, at 8:20 for NYC. and here is where i am staying... the W in Times Square trendy and posh, we've decided it is. i'm very certain i'm not trendy enough to stay there, but since the anonymous corporate machine is paying for it, i guess the hotel probably won't kick my geek ass out.

if all goes according to plan, i'll be able to update from nyc. if it does not go according to plan, i guess i'll just get drunk instead.

Posted by jodi at 11:03 PM | Comments (2)

Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I thought it could be.

they are making it very very difficult to go to macworld. "they" being the people in charge of trade shows and trade show staffing and trade show travel. i don't really know "them." and "they" don't work in this office, but rather down in san jose. so... that makes them real real ANONYMOUS. you know what i mean? by the time i am able to book a flight, there will be no convenient flights left, and louise and i figure they will just have to send us first class. it's their fault. disorganization! it's friday, it's 3:21... i have do not yet have a number. the magic number that allows me to say "yes, i'm serious, i'm taking these tickets to new york, please." without that number, i "lose" my trip after 24 hours. then i have to "book" another one. i am unable to "complete" my trip until ihave the magic number. i'm leaving tuesday morning. as of today, we are now exceeding my "estimated travel costs" budget, flightwise, by $200. because i'm still waiting for that number.

oh well. here's a picture of my kitten, almost a year ago. pretending to be a desk accessory. that's what i am pretending to be today, as well.

Posted by jodi at 03:26 PM | Comments (3)

My shrink is right - I'm unloved, unappreciated, I only have one car...

ummm... i have no update. i have nothing new or exciting to say. nothing that's true, at least. if you want excitement, i'm going to have to lie to you.

that's a sad state of affairs. here's hoping for big excitement when i go to new york!!

Posted by jodi at 03:39 PM | Comments (0)

You have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance.

pru and her adventures with q-tips. i tried, fee, i really tried, but i could not get a shot of her walking around with the q-tip in her mouth. probably because she wasn't running away from me with it.

here you can see the beginning of the battle. it's a toss up, at this point, whether pru is going to either a: play with the q-tip, or b: attack the bedding as i try to put clean sheets on the bed.

here is a good close up shot, in which prudence tries to chew the q-tip INTO SUBMISSION!!

the battle royale! it's a blur of fur and... well, furr.

tune into tomorrow when we find out what happens when...

pru knocks the q-tip off the bed!! [i don't know what she's doing in this shot either, exactly.]

Posted by jodi at 10:06 PM | Comments (2)

That isn't public opinion -- it's a job of propaganda!

today is going to suck pretty hard, i can tell already. chances of me getting much done? slim. chances of me falling off the chair, sideways, onto the beanbag chair on the floor of my cube? significant. currently, i am killing the last five minutes i have until another meeting. it's my only other meeting this morning. i started off the day with one at 7:30. there is a good chance i will come down with food poisoning at this next meeting. a 24 hour case of food poisoning. tragic really. it took 72 hours to manifest, but bad potato salad from a forth of july picnic finally caught up with me.

over at the brain, sarah posted a link to micah wright's remixed war propaganda. it's a pretty great book. you should check it out. this is my favorite one.

Posted by jodi at 11:31 AM | Comments (1)

All this fuss over a stupid book? Why don't you people get your priorities straight? Hel-lo! Cheerleading competition this week!

further exciting news about my trip to new york. exciting for me. and psm louise, it turns out. one of my very most favorite authors, janet evanovich, is going to be there, doing a reading and signing from the new stephanie plum book "to the nines" which comes out on the 15th! she's not coming anywhere near seattle, so i think it's a pretty wicked coincidence that she's going to be in new york city at the same time i am. wheee! that rules. yes i am going. the 2nd shift at the expo ends at 6, and the reading it at 7.

fee says its ok that i am going to a book signing, while in new york. out of all the things to do, i chose to do that. because, she said, that's the great thing about new york...whatever you are into, it's going on. and if it's books for me, than that's just fine.

it's very very quiet today, here at work. it's the day before a holiday weekend. the majority of people took today off. those who did not, are leaving in bits and drabs, earlier than usual. i'm holding out until 4. i'm trying.

that's all i got. i told you, it's a good thing i'm going somewhere, so i will have something to write about. i will tell you this, coworker sparkie and i are going to quit our jobs and looking for saddam. i figure i've got a better chance of finding him, than winning the lottery.

Posted by jodi at 03:14 PM | Comments (0)

Is your vagina listed in the New York City guide books?! Because it should be - hottest spot in town! Always open!

bonjour, mes petits amis d'Internet!

i have good news! something that may mean i will actually have something worth writing about. the powers that be, here at work, are sending me to the macworld expo in new york city! i've resisted going to any trade shows, always saying that i was holding out for a macworld. but we stopped going to the one in nyc a few years ago. that left SF in january. i went to macworld in SF, but as myself. because i am THAT much of a geek. but i guess we're back in the NY show! because i'm going!! i'm going to be surrounded by yummy mac goodness!

i've never been to new york. ever ever. i've never worked a trade show, for that matter. and the powers that be always put you up some place really really nice. i don't know where i am staying yet, haven't received any details. i guess this means i'll get a cool trade show shirt. the last time i saw our booth, a couple years ago, they were wearing all black. but it does change. i've seen different types of trade show booth shirts since then.

this all happens in a week and a half. the week of the 14th thru the 18th. psm louise is going with me. i'm glad she is, because she's fun. you typically work 4 hours a day, and then the rest of the time is yours. for mischeif and mayhem! both!

Posted by jodi at 04:44 PM | Comments (1)