Tickled Pink

aahhh. what a lovely relaxing sunday in a three day holdiay weekend. What did you do to relax? me... I took a bath. It was quite nice. We have this new rainfall showerhead, and it's so relaxing, i had the tropical rain falling on me while i was in a nice warm bath. then, with my glasses off, i saw a little piece of what i thought was hair float by. but, on closer inpection, it proved to be a Giant, NASTY spider. In the bath. with me. swimming around. la-de-da. like it wasn't the grossest thing in the world that he was sharing my bath! all i can say is eeeeeeewwwww. I guess that's what you get for living in the woods. Whatever. I miss the city.

Speaking of porn...what? oh, we weren't talking about porn? well, we are now. Anyway, just thought you should all know that it's not my fault I'm weird, it's my family's fault. I have many examples, but in the interest of time, and the looming bedtime of my son, i'll only share a few.
1) my lovely, teddy bear-loving, crafty-as-hell aunt attends what she calls 'marital aid parties'. and has pictures from said parties in her family photo albums for all to see. Picture christmas dinner, a cousin showing his new girlfriend family photos, till he comes to a dead halt and others in the room hear the words: "double-ended!" and "oh my god, is that aunt ____?!?!" Said aunt replied for all to hear, "this may suprise you, but your aunt is a sexual being." You go, girl!
2) a certain other family member, who will remain unnamed, and no longer lives with his parents, recently got busted for downloading porn to his mom's computer. He claims that sometimes, 'you just don't know that that's what you're downloading.' which, i guess could be true, but i'm inclined to think this might not have been the case. whatever. let's just say that it might not be a great idea to dowload porn onto your mom's computer. let's just hope there weren't any home movies in there.
anyway, i figure by sharing these two stories, whatever crazy shit i do will at least be put into the perspective of where i came from.

it is SOOOOO not my fault.