that, right there, is the fortune cookie i got with my chinese food tonight. is that not the suckiest fortune cookie you’ve ever seen? there’s no fortune in that cookie!! it basically says, “oh, i don’t know what do you think? do whatever you want.” it’s a very wishy washy fortune cookie. brought to you by Panda Express. i should write a letter.
Dear Panda Express,
thank you for putting crack in your orange chicken. i have fallen prey to your plot, and am now addicted. however, your fortune cookies suck. please get a new fortune teller, this one is far too torpid and banal. perhaps your new one could take advantage of merriam webster’s word of the day feature such as i have. regardless, i am looking forward to a more fatidical cookie in the future.
love,
jodi
ps: seriously tho… thanks for the dr pepper. you are doing the lord’s work in serving it. bless you.