where was i? oh yeah, portland. my life is so exciting.
nice hotel, uberfirm bed. i don’t know why i don’t like firm beds. everyone else loves them. good for their backs, they say. but they hurt me. i think parts of me get too squished between other parts of me and the bed. i like to get on a bed and then gently float down to the mattress.
monday for some reason, lance decided to display a work ethic and made us show up at 6 am. i’d slept less than two hours. and when i met him in the lobby, i hated him. so i told him that. but, on the way, we stopped at mcdonald’s and it was a macdonald’s that served dr pepper instead of the insipid mr. pibb. so i got an egg mcmuffin AND a dr pepper from one place. NICE! it’s the little things, you know. and they had donuts when we arrived. the security guy gave us some key to some room we knew nothing about, but we took it anyway, because who knows what they store in that room? long story short, it took me 7 hours to get the laptop online and connected to our inner sanctum. so i could get work email and such. i talked to babytechs, had lunch with a senior tech. and they have dr. pepper in the fountain at their cafe. their little cafe is ten times better than ours.
i was bound and determined to eat dinner at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse. i had heard it was good, but expensive. i’ve never been there. but you know there is nothing i like better than steak! since i had a food allowance, i wanted to use it to fulfill this dream. the restaurant was ten “portland” blocks from our hotel. [that’s what the desk clerk said. portland blocks.] which means tiny. i had a cocktail that included vodka and orange juice. but orange juice from blood oranges. it was called a blood drop or something. ewwww. i was extremely quenched when i got to the restaurant, drank two glasses of water before we even saw our waiter. the vodka in that drink was high quality shit, man. i didn’t even taste it. so i gulped that drink down like it was juice. on an empty stomach. BAMF! i’m more than a little buzzed. [yes, i’m a light weight. i’m a cheap date. except for the whole liking expensive steak part.] lance and evildeb had cocktails as well as wine. so the evening just became more and more delightful as it went on. before our meal was delivered, someone placed a creme bruile in front of me. i thought i had hit the jackpot. i told everyone to shush. but our waiter noticed and they took it away from me. i had the best damn ribeye steak i’ve ever had. they broil it in some kind of 1800 degree broiler and bring it to you on a plate heated to 500 degrees. everything was awesome, the drinks, the steak, the potatoes and the dessert. i ate more that night than i ate in the previous weekend, in its entirety. walked back to the hotel and i had two more drinks. i really wanted to sleep. i had more to drink than i normally do. i was ready to flop down on the bed and sleep. no go. damn it. why can’t i drink until i pass out?