i think god is punishing me. or, i would think that god was punishing me, except that i don’t believe that god punishes. therefore, i am punishing myself, somehow, and blaming it on god. if god was punishing right now, he’s definitely doing it by giving us g.w. bush. not by messing with my g4.
are we at war yet? i have checked the news lately. i’m so sad and worried and disgusted and ambivalent and concerned and distracted and angry and … every emotion. i’m not sure i can be only a few emotions about it, because it would be too much. i hate everyone. well, i hate all world leaders. all of them. oy! does that make me an anarchist? ha. no. i wish we could just reboot our government with the shift key held down, in safe boot. or, i’d boot into root user of the world and replace the world leaders with mothers. women. women with no need to hurt and only to protect.
punishment. yes. my poor little g4 at home, is acting sickly. i made a deal with myself that if i cleaned the kitchen, i could buy myself a present. i decided if i cleaned my kitchen i could get the sims unleashed expansion pack. because allowing my little sims, who never go to war by the way, to have pets, would solve all my personal problems. i headed out to see shanti, to get my brows done. however, instead of then going home and cleaning the kitchen, i just went straight to the buying part of it. it does no good to make these deals with myself, because i’ll just go straight to the buying part. as long as present is promised, i’ll just get it first. so unless i decide to reward myself after i’ve already done whatever it is i don’t want to do, it’s a failed system. anyway, i had not yet installed the vacation expansion pack i’d gotten for xmas. so i installed both. and i created a new sim to concentrate on. eve. she has shaggy blond short hair, and a more curvy body. [there is slim, curvy, and a more corpulent build]. she has a simple house, without a whole bunch of decorating or objects, because i thought we’d add those as we went along. [usually, when i create a new sim, i spend way too much time decorating and buying things for the house when i first move them in. because i know the money cheat.] anyway, eve’s going to get a job soon. i took her to old towne and she adopted a grey tiger kitten named Pru. gee, i wonder where the inspiration for that came from? as soon as i get a second kitten, for pru to have company during the day, eve will get that job. however, and here is where god is punishing me for skipping the cleaning part of the bargain, the game is running soooooo slowly that it’s pretty much unplayable. it’s not bad when she’s at home, but it was nearly impossible to adopt that first kitten. she’s off doing a bunch of stuff before i can even get the game to admit i am making commands. and it takes awhile to catch up to her. after she burned down the kitchen, no one was hurt, i took eve and pru to the beach, for vacation. same problem. i can’t play the game. it’s no good. i don’t know what it is. i moved the game to the home user directory, per aspyr’s suggestion for frequent crashes, but it didn’t help. i’m going to move it to a shared directly and try logging in as a new user. see if that doesn’t help. it’s probably my processor speed. stuff is just becoming too fast for me. it may be time to upgrade the processor. i have 500mb of ram, and plenty of space. it’s the processor. guh.
my computer is having other issues as well. it may be time for an intense spring cleaning, back-up and reformat, etc. i’m much more apt to do that, then clean the kitchen, anyway. and, god gave me a cluster headache yesterday, just to make sure i understood it was bad karma to flinch on a deal, even if the deal was with yourself.