last week, i was up on broadway with evildeb… it was lunch time. e.d. was still in hot topic and she was not moving fast enough for me. so i told her i was going to go down to retro viva and she could meet me there. and then two things happened. the first was crime! yes! on broadway. i was walking down the sidewalk and all of the sudden this guy comes out of a restaurant. i think it was a pho place, but it might just be an all around vietnamese restaurant. but we are going to go ahead and say it was pho. because that is what i think it was. so the guy comes out of the pho place, and he’s looking a little stoned. and shifty. yes, i could tell he was shifty before anything happened. because i have the super-hero crime fighting tendency in me. all of the sudden, one of the pho guys comes running out and shoves him, starts to confront him. and they start to fight and struggle. and then another bunch of pho guys come out to help, and then pretty soon this guy was covered in pho guys. he’s yelling all sorts of stuff, but his eyes still looked glassy and stoned. he probably could have gotten away if he was not so out of it. that is, before the large group of secondary backup pho guys entered the fray. then, the pho daddy came out. he was wearing the pho chef gear. you can tell he’s the leader of the pho gang. because he has the most cheffy outfit. and he confronts the stoner. turns out, the guy did a little dine and dash or something. the details are not clear. he had money and it did not belong to him. in some capacity, it belonged to the pho. more fighting, more confrontation, vietnemese shouted from one member of the pho to others, police being called. and a bunch of goth kids standing around laughing. also expressing their concern that citizen internment by other citizens was probably not legal. i don’t know if that is true or not. i imagine you can aprehend all you want, you just can’t detain. i turned around and walked back the other way, because the ruckus was blocking the sidewalk, and the alleged perp was still struggling and flaying, attempting to punch and kick whatever he could land a punch or kick upon. failing. but i didn’t want to get in the middle of it. i saw e.d. coming up the sidewalk and i took her over the the CRIME SCENE to see it. by that time they had him up against a wall. and i felt safe passing buy. evidleb did not, but being evil doesn’t mean you aren’t a fraidy cat.
it’s at this point the second thing happened, interrupting the first. we found out retro viva was gone! so disappointed! that’s where i got the famous yellow paul frank devo monkey bad! i’m recognized by that bag! the lady at the bank doesn’t need id any more because she recognizes me by that bag. and now it’s gone. so we had to turn, and walk back down the street from wist we came. e.d. wanted to cross and walk on the other side of broadway. see above fraidy cat comment. but i wouldn’t let her. see above crime fighter comment. besides, at that time they had pulled the alleged perp into the alcove and were sitting on him. it took like two point five skinny pho guys to hold him down. and he STILL looked stoned. his shirt was pulled up, as if they’d tried to pull it up over his head, like a hockey jersey. but failed. he had a green floppy hat on, and he was, as they say, couch potato soft. like i should talk, but that is not the point. i’m merely calling it like i saw it. as we passed, we here the sirens and i was sorry couldn’t stay and lookie-loo some more. i wanted to see the office arrest. actually, i really wanted to know if the pho guys got in trouble for the illegal use of force. to tell the truth, i hope they didn’t. you steal from someone, they chase you down and sit on you…. you got what’s coming to you. i think.