i’m wearing pants today. proud of me? i’m wearing pants, as opposed to shorts or capris. because it’s that cool and rainy out. so i’m wearing levi’s. and i was excited because i got to get out my winter sneakers. the suede converse, with the glow in the dark star. the navy blue ones. as opposed to the black.
ok. now that we know what i am wearing….
the crazies are out today. oddities are occurring. today, evildeb and i went a mall at lunch. northgate to be specific. she wanted to walk around and i wanted something to eat and it was raining. i was standing at taco time, waiting for my crispy beef burrito to be done crispying, when all of the sudden my bag started to vibrate. it was my cell phone. and i had a text message. it said “you are weird.” so i answered back “takes one to know one.” i have no idea who this is, it’s a 206 number. but not one i know. so they answered back “ha ha ya ok freak.” and before i could respond, they said “the vibrating felt weird in my pocket lol.” still thinking i knew them somehow, i said something typical of me. “do not talk dirty to me, stranger.”
“i’m so confused.”
“that makes two of us.”
“where’s your phone?”
“in my hand. who are you?”
“wait… lol… who is this?”
“oh no no… i asked you first.”
silence. evildeb says i should continuously msg them saying “who are you who are you who are you?” over and over. then tomorrow, i should start calling. my guess, it’s a girl. only a girl would LOL so much.
so that was fun. but the most fun was when we were walking out of the mall. there was this guy, sort of a nondescript guy, in dark pants and a white business shirt. short brown hair, glasses. nice shoes. he had several shopping bags at his feet, one was nordstrom. he was holding a suit bag, and spraying the inside of it with some kind of aerosol. now, here is what i think happened, we walked out, as we were walking away, i sort kicked the top to the can. there was a lady coming toward us. near as i can figure, she picked up the top and threw it away, probably thinking it was garbage. she was a pretty mild mannered looking lady, in her 50’s. all of the sudden, behind us, we heard the guy SCREAM [and i mean scream] “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY DID YOU DO THAT? I WAS USING THAT!! YOU BITCH!!!” top of his lungs. we turned around and the woman was frantically trying to get through the door, away from him.
here is our theory… this guy is a: wound tight as a drum and b: crazy. he was spraying the inside of the suit bag with a disinfectant. because he’s terrified of germs. the woman threw the top away, which means if he wanted it back, and you know he did, because the top belonged on the can, he’d have to reach into the garbage can and pull out the lid. but he can’t do that, because of the germs. so he freaked.
i really really regret not asking him what was up… why he was yelling at a total stranger like that. i am so sorry i didn’t do it. because i think the answer would have been hysterical. i bet the lady went and got security. i wish i had seen that too. bummer. periodically, on the drive home, i would turn to edeb and yell “WHY DID YOU DO THAT? I WAS USING THAT!! YOU BITCH!!” and she’d laugh and laugh and laugh. proving to me i was not wrong. it was funny.
my cube is officially too messy. i’ve reached a threshold, and i can’t take it. tomorrow… we are cleaning the cube.