it’s monday. and it’s a monday after a four day weekend. a little mini holiday from which i returned last night. which means it’s… STEAL FUNNY THINGS FROM OTHER PEOPLE DAY!! that’s right, this is a day where i do little work, and a whole lot of copy and paste.
loon is a great source of things that are funny. that must be why they call her loon.
What is your Vampire name?
Driretlan is your Vampire name.
You are a witty Vampire with a certain style that
others are drawn to.
To use your new Vampire name and become a Vampire ,go here.
forwarded from our canadian office:
“Watch your dog!!!
Warning to all dog owners: Watch your dog!
Dogs are being picked off one at a time by a sniper in the region.
Many dogs have been killed off by this heartless sniper
Police in the province advise all dog owners to “Watch your Dog”.
See attachment for likeness of sniper description.”

click for larger image.
canaidans are funny. kittens with guns are funny. poor photoshop skills are no laughing matter. hopefully, the artists will spend more time on fark.com and learn to hone his craft.
is that how you spell hone?

Los Angeles Bans Lap Dancing in Strip Clubs
who would waste money on a law like this?

this is unacceptable because she is asking QUESTIONS!! and i must answer them!! i guess tuesday is choseday. so i’ll answer them over here. oh man… what if she doesn’t come over here and see the answers? what then? she’ll have NO IDEA what i would have chosen. my opinion will go UNNOTICED!! i’m scared.
on the bright side, this gives some of my internet friends and chance to answer questions. how fun!
WOULD YOU RATHER:
1. Drool noticeably every time you see food OR have to throw up whatever you ate exactly 15 minutes later?
oh drool. for sure. i hate throwing up. i avoid it at all costs. drooling could be fun. cuz you could get yourself a little drool cup.
2. Meet an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend 5 years later and be very overweight OR be balding?
overweight. i can’t imagine not having my hair. unfortanately, i can easily imagine being overweight. but lose my hair?
3. Show up at a black tie even wearing only a toga, and have to stay the whole night OR have a stripper accidentally pop out of a cake at your family reunion?
oh this is easy. in fact, i am surprised we haven’t had a stripper pop out of a cake at a family reunion. my family is completely inappropriate.
4. Sneeze once every minute for 2 days straight OR cough up phlegm constantly for 12 hours?
definately sneeze. i hate phlegm. but… actually. 2 days, every minute might be a bit tiring. maybe i would rather cough up phlegm. i’m torn on this one.
ok, i just checked back on loon’s site, and i can comment now. but i’ve written all this out already.. i guess i pre-panicked before it was really necessary?
does this guy scare you as much as he scares me?

thank you everyone who agrees with me that $4.61 is a ridiculous amount. it doesn’t even make sense. how am i supposed to live on that, and continue to work and therefore make money to pay them back? i don’t know. there’s no logic. stupid IRS.
it certainly does not leave me enough money to see “underworld” and i’ve been waiting DESPERATELY since summer began to see that movie. i’ve got that red tape song, from the preview, in my car and i listen to it all the time. molly has long since put the date in her palm… phooey. i told molly and evildeb i would know by the 24th if i could see it. because by the 24th i will know if i removed the levy in time to get a paycheck on the 30th. so we have a tentative date for the 25th.
i wasn’t going to be able to see it with them on friday anyway… i’ll be IN PASADENA!! eating fee’s food and playing with her bunnies.
so fee hopes to grow up to be a pushy old lady, it turns out. me, i don’t want to shove people, i just want to yell at them. if i were that white haired lady, i’d put my face up right against his ear and yell “MOVE!!”

today, i was driving to the post office in wallingford. i was at 45th and stone. and across from me, on the sidewalk waiting to cross, were three people. there was an older women, with white hair, holding a “to-go” styrofoam box from some restaurant. her companion was a younger woman. i didn’t pay too much attention to her. she doesn’t figure much into the story. standing in front of them, reading a weekly newspaper, was a bohemian type of guy, with a green hat. when the light changed, the white haired woman, while talking to her friend, reached a hand forward and SHOVED the bohemian guy into the cross walk. she wasn’t even looking at him that much. she didn’t shove him hard, she was, after all, sort of an old lady. with one hand full of left overs. but you should have seen the utter shock on the face of the guy! he was stunned. then he stepped aside and gave them they international gesture for “no… after YOU.” letting them go first. in an annoyed, but still shocked, kinda way.
you can’t really blame him for being annoyed. shoving is rude.

here is my voyager card of the day:

click for larger image.
SETBACK
Just as the earth suffers devastation and disaster, your most beautiful, prosperous, solidly organized projects and plans – on which you depend and bank – encounter setback: a drying up of resources (drought), a sudden ruination (hurricane, forest fire, volcanic eruption), a block (wall), or a parting of ways (abandoned village).
oh for pete’s sake. i hope it’s referring to the resources i already know about. because i don’t have any other resources to dry up. i’m an empty shell. the IRS left me FOUR FUCKING DOLLARS AND SIXTY-ONE CENTS out of my paycheck today. dear internet friends, that is not enough to live on, is it?
Defeat and difficulty are regenerative, as are the earth’s natural disasters. The earth’s healthy new seeds symbolize this new life. For every storm, there is a rainbow. Take one step back – a strategic retreat – to go two steps forward through the newly open door of opportunity. As it is said, make lemonade out of lemons.
as long as there is a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow.
let’s examine all the new possibilities that will come with my being poor. hmm…. ok. i admit it. i’m not coming up with much. but i’m not exactly ready to look at the silver lining yet. fucking IRS. give me a couple of days. i was getting better over the weekend, until i saw how much they left me. s’ok. i’m going to get that levy released before the next paycheck.
how fun is it that i just air my dirty financial laundry out in public like this? pretty fun, huh? maybe after all this financial stuff is settled, i’ll discuss my intimacy issues.

*jodi looking dubious*

the brain seems to be down. not sure why. email is coming in sporadically. i was trying to get into the account to clean out the spam folders. it’s fun. but i can’t get in there other. but all the uberblogs work.
the other day i was chatting with my little brother, and he mentioned that he hadn’t been reading my blog, he should check it out. so josh… i just want you to know, if you ARE reading, i just thought of you. i ate a hot dog. but it was a hebrew national hotdog. that’s the kind your mom used to buy. and you ate them all the time. that’s right… you looooooved them. they take me right back to 3456 peachwillow. when i used to sit on the front lawn and BEG god, buddha, mohamed, krishna and various goddess to just let my life BEGIN already. when times were simpler, but miserabler.. and you ate meat.
that’s a pretty reflective hot dog.
i’m listening to kate bush, and trying to file past tax returns left unfiled in protest. yeah… that’s why i didn’t file them. i’m PROTESTING!! i don’t like our president and his policies. it’s not because i let a big problem snowball into a bigger and bigger and then HUGE problem. it has nothing to do with my superior avoidance and denial skills.
i’m thinking i should retitle this blog. “… the adventures of a girl, her kitten, her mood disorders and her BATTLE AGAINST THE IRS!!”
but then, that would be giving way way too much importance to the irs. despite how badly i’ve messed up, it doesn’t warrent the attention my kitten gets! or my mood disorders. god forbid.
i’m also working on my outline for my NaNoWriMo project. sorta. i’m brainstorming. it’s just not coming out in outline format.

if the full moon was the night of the 10th, could all the crazy people i ran into on the 11th just be left over from that? or is it really only the night of the full moon that they come out.
i left a crazy out. that was the lotto stalker. i was standing at a lottery kiosk, checking all the tickets i had wadded in my purse, to see if i could at least score some more tickets with them. some guy stood close to me… very close. inside my dance space close, and watched over my shoulder. every time i put a ticket under the scanner, he’d have a comment.
“you have to hold it still a second… for it to read… yeah. that’s it.”
“doesn’t read mega million tickets. nope.”
“there’s a trashcan right behind you.”
“oh… it’s a winner.”
“oh, that happens to me all the time.”
some people say that he was just trying to get me to hurry up, so he could check his tickets. but as soon as i was done, he walked away. i think he was ready to POUNCE should i have have won. which i did. two dollars.
he was creepy. and obviously had been up all night, dancing under the light of the full moon.

1. rub up against my legs, or weave in and out around my ankles.
2. lick anyone or anything other than herself.
3. that kneading bread thing kitties do when you are petting them.
things she does do, instead…
1. run in front of me as i leave one room for another and throw herself down in front of me, rolling on her back, putting her paws up in the air to “git me.”
2. try to sleep draped across my neck. like a scarf. or a neck brace.
3. drink out of faucets only. unless it’s hot, in which case she’ll use a glass of water on the bathroom counter i leave for just such a purpose.
4. heard me into the bathroom when i get home from work. in order to turn on a faucet.
5. “talk” to me. have kitty cat conversations with me.
6. touch her nose to my nose, when she’s sitting on the bathroom counter, and i’m getting ready in the morning.
7. sleep in the bathtub. summers only.