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No sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you.

i’m in the mother of all bad moods. any number of things are contributing to it. all manner of things. anyway, i’m hiding out. i booked a small conference room for an hour and took squishy and my airport connection on the road. it’s almost like having an office. i wish i had an office. i’m losing my boss soon. we are hiring a new manager, and my current boss, who is currently doing the work of three people, will now only have to do the work of 1.5. in the process, one of the responsibilities she is shedding, is the responsibility for me. which, i am sure, is upsetting to her. i should ask her to get me an office before she relinquishes control over me. somehow, i doubt the rest of the team would like that. but i don’t really care about them, now, do i? no. the idea of getting a new boss is bothersome to me because it upsets the dynamic. i don’t like it when my personal or professional dynamics are upset. i don’t trust new people. even tho, it always turns out fine, at this stage in the game, i don’t like it. nope. not one bit. i don’t trust him. or her. i don’t know who it is because they are ENTIRELY NEW to me. they have not even been hired. they’ve only been NARROWED DOWN. therefore, they are ENTIRELY UNTRUSTWORTHY. you can see the logic. what if they have no sense of humor? what if they don’t get me? what if they are no fun? what if they wear too much perfume. or hate cats? WHAT IF THEY ARE VEGAN? the whole thing is very disturbing and i’m just not going to be able to cope with it.
despite all of that, the fact that i am getting a new boss is NOT what is putting me in the mother of all bad moods. that only came up because i want my own office instead of a cube. this is more feasible than you think. as past RIF’s have left us with a surplus of empty offices. they should just give me one. and re: the new boss, well i’m used to them. what with the curse and all. long story. basically, i have a boss curse. which, until i started here at this company, meant if you were my boss, you would quit or be fired within the year. happened to everyone. even people who had worked for the company for 20 years. i have 25+ bosses, i think, in the 8 years before i started here? anyway, when i started here, the good karma of the company changed to curse to be that you simply moved into a different positions, after being my boss. i’ve worked here almost five years and i’ve had 6 bosses. two of those were at the same time, tho. i’m about to receive my 7th. only 4 of them remain with the company. one left of her own accord. and one was laid off, but way way way after being my boss. it wasn’t my fault!!! she doesn’t blame me!! usually, you move on to a BETTER position than being my boss. so ti’s not a bad thing.
i have 4 hours of tedious, horrible, mandatory training this afternoon. it will probably suck out what remains of my soul. we should all be happy that i am taking bereavement off this week, in order to replenish.

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