ED: I’m hungry… what should I eat? What should I eat?

Me: *the sound of someone ignoring EvilDeb because she talks to herself all the time.*

ED: I know, I’ll eat this apple. This one sitting right here. It has my name all over it. Pippin. Ha!

Me: Pippin? Your name is Pippin now.

ED: Yes. Apparently it is.

Me: Well, I’m … ummm…. Golden Delicious.

ED: Is that your stripper name?

Me: Yes. No, wait… my stripper name is Tigger Tanglewood.

ED: Tigger… I’m going to call you Tigger Delicious from now on.

Me: That sounds like a Bond Girl name.

ED: Tigger Delicious!

Me: I will call you…. Pippin Silkstockings!

… 20 minutes later, on a walk to the People Communist Collective grocery store, EvilDeb’s Bond Girl name was changed to Pippin Pussywillow because it had a more pleasant alliteration.

Pippin Pussywillow is not here today, she is having more novocain shot into her head.