Technical chats between Evildeb and I often deteriorate into discussions like these.

Jodi: i wish i were psychic.

Evildeb: why

Evildeb: then you’d have to talk to dead people and that would just be more people to talk to

Jodi: cuz i watched that show “medium” and i want to be a psychic consultant. and help people solve the tuff crimes.

Jodi: it would combine my love of mysteries with my love of knowing things that other people don’t know.

Jodi: and not only do i want to be psychic, but i want to be THE BEST PSYCHIC IN THE WORLD!!

Evildeb: I watched it also

Evildeb: but she wasn’t a very good actress

Jodi: she was weird.

Jodi: but i’ll give it another shot.

Evildeb: but I love psychic stuff so I’ll probably watch it again

Jodi: i knew that about you.

Jodi: cuz…

Jodi: i’m….

Jodi: THE BEST PSYCHIC IN THE WORLD!!!

Jodi: she’s been good before.

Evildeb: yeah, I bet she needs to warm up to tv

Evildeb: it will probably take a while for the show to get good

Evildeb: that happens a lot

Evildeb: I know that because

Evildeb: I’m

Evildeb: a

Evildeb: tv expert

Evildeb: In my class the teacher said we are all experts at something

Evildeb: But legally, to be an expert, the court has to agree that you are

Evildeb: and that requires a curriculum vitae

Evildeb: if you are an expert you can offer your opinion and the court will listen to you

Evildeb: but if you aren’t an expert you can only offer facts

Evildeb: facts are stupid

Jodi: ummmm… what am i an expert at?

Evildeb: Prudence?

Jodi: sloth.

Jodi: i am an expert of sloth.

Jodi: i’m very very very very very very very very good at sloth.

Evildeb: do you know a lot about it?

Jodi: sure.

Evildeb: could you advise the court on sloth?

Jodi: it’s gooooooooood.

Jodi: sure.

Evildeb: well, there you are then

Jodi: i could start a knowledge base on it.

Evildeb: why don’t you if you’re such an expert on it

Evildeb: ?

Jodi: because i’m SLOTHFUL!

Jodi: i could do it, but i never would.

Evildeb: well, you won’t have much of a curriculum vitae then

Jodi: don’t need one.

Evildeb: but maybe in the case of sloth a curriculum vitae is counterproductive to proving your expertise

Jodi: i emote lessons on sloth.

Evildeb: I really need to finish my email. I got one done but I have another one to do.

Jodi: what the hell is a curriculum vitae?

Evildeb: a list of the things you’ve done or what have you that prove you are an expert.

Evildeb: Like, speeches you’ve delivered, articles you’ve written that someone published (proving someone believes in you) certifications you’ve gotten on the subject, your PHD…it’s like a resume

Jodi: hooo-boy. in my case, it’s more of a list of things i HAVEN’T done. because i’m an expert. in sloth.

Evildeb: but different

Jodi: i think they are expecting a bit much from an expert in sloth.

Jodi: that’s a lot of work. a lot of effort. we hate that.

Evildeb: right, but if you got up the gumption to write your curriculum vitae I think it would undermine your claim of expertise

Jodi: speaking of sloth, i have to go to a meeting now.

Evildeb: ok

Jodi: gumption.

Jodi: i’m FULL of gumption.

Evildeb: that’s good because I have to finish an email

Jodi: wheee.

Evildeb: you should take a laxative

Evildeb: to help eliminate all the gumption that’s trapped inside of you

Evildeb: because I think there may be a blockage problem with the gumption

Jodi: ha! blockage.

Jodi: gumption blockage.

Jodi: i need more fiber.