Hello and welcome to 50 Word Fiction Friday. For those who don’t know, here is how we play the game. Write a story that is 50 words, no more, no less, and leave it in a comment. And that’s it. Oh, and this week’s theme is housework. Something to do with cleaning. Because we all know how challenged I am by the mere thought of it.
Also, in case you didn’t know, there is an archive page of the past weeks 50 word fictions, if you’d like to reminisce. Enjoy!
Where is the fairy tale?
“You were supposed to bring me breakfast, sweep the hearth, hang the clothes out to dry, iron my ball gown…”
“Mmmm… I’m sorry… what?”
“You are just sitting here. Reading!! You make a lousy Cinderella.”
“Can we just skip to the part where someone brings me a glass slipper?”
ìScrubbing. All I do all day is scrub,î thought Paul. He scrubbed the floors, the walls, even the basement stairs almost daily. Paul didnít have OCD, it was more a sense of duty. When your twin brother works at home, things will get bloody. Serial killing and agoraphobia donít mix.
Even as she scrubbed the grungy toilet in anticipation of her Grandmother’s visit, she thought of how she even preferred this to homework. Now, with every surface in the loo shining like a pimp’s suit, she begrudgingly hefted the assault rifle and went about completing her assignment for Sociopathology 103.
hey… who is the sociopath in this scenario?
Interesting, we have one sociopath, one agoraphobic serial killer and his twin brother, and one uncooperative Cinderella archetype.
Dustbunnies roll away and back at each nervous breath. Some are sticking to my clammy skin. Go! You should be at work!
I will not read his journal againÖ I promise never, never, ever again.
But what nerve! The asshole canít vacuum but he can use ìinquisiturientî in a sentence?!?
I have too much housework to do, right now, to play. Perhaps a little later. (what? it’s the truth!)
Granpappy never did housework, being the strict dustarian that he was. He didn’t believe in killing innocent dust bunnies, thinking they were harmless. He didn’t know they’d multiply like real bunnies. And form labor unions. The Dust Bunnies of Local 37 evicted him seven years after his last dusting massacre.
Housework 101 – This course will cover the basics of housework such as:
# Creative hiding places for “misc” stuff
# Maximize use of horizontal surfaces
# Dust bunnies – new age pets
# Vacuuming – myths and falsehoods promoted by Hoover
# Stacking for profit
# Bathrooms – mildew health benefits
# Kitchens – Do not Use equals Do not Clean
I used to have three hamsters. I used to play with them every day after work. Then, for some reason, I decided to do housework. I decided to use the hose attachment to my vacuum cleaner. I decided to clean under the couch.
*Sigh*
I used to have three hamsters.