There are all different ways people can leave you. Some drift away slowly, you can feel yourself becoming more invisible to them, as whatever allure you used to hold for them fades. Some pass away after long lives lived fully. Some pass away suddenly, leaving great shock waves behind. And some just decide their ride with you ends here, this is where they are getting off and, oh, here is your heart, sorry if it’s a little torn.

This seems to be a prevailing theme of July for me this year, so I am putting you all on notice now, the fun stops Sunday July 31st. That is when the Get Out of Jodi’s Life Scott Free No Questions Asked card is revoked. After that, you try to leave without my say-so, I will hunt you down and pin you against the wall like a butterfly specimen in a bug box, playing Phil Collins music at you, at high volumes, over and over until you are able to see the error of your ways.

Do I make myself clear? Good.

EDITED TO ADD: Ok, perhaps I should point out that I was referring to Phil Collins’ solo work, particularly in the 90’s, which I find to be very grating. But some of you may like his later stuff. So the plan has been revised to use whatever music fits the situation. For example, if you wanted to break me, you’d play the Grateful Dead or Steely Dan at me. So now, the plan is, I will find your musical button, your musical achilles’ heel, and use it against you. If you leave, without my permission, that is. That makes more sense, doesn’t it?