Did I fail to mention that I won yesterday’s poker game? I think I did. Shame on me. Let’s just take care of that now. I won yesterday’s poker game!!

Today, at work, we had a luau. I don’t know why. Just one of those things. No reason was stated, I guess it was just one of those summer party things. There was volleyball, lots of food, some hula contest, Hawaiian band, drinks in coconuts [plastic] with really high alcohol content., and robo-surfing. And wading pools, and henna tattoos and things for the kids. I don’t drink and drive. At all. So I was not imbibing. But Evildeb doesn’t drive home, Lloyd does the driving. So she was imbibing nicely. As were other people.

At one point, word is, Evildeb threw an inflated ball at the back of Tessa’s head. I did not see this. But I saw retaliation. Tessa thought this was worthy of dumping a bottle of water down Evildeb’s back. I don’t think Evildeb agreed. She was contemplating an ass kicking.

Now, if the two of them went to war, it would be bad. Neither one would give up and both would escalate it to the next level. Knowing this, I happily stood behind Deb’s lawn chair and encouraged her to kick Tessa’s ass. Tessa was standing a few yards away, her back towards us.

Evildeb: i’m going to have to kick her ass.

Me: I think you do, your pride is at stake. I mean, it was just a beach ball! And now you are completely soaked!

Evildeb: well… i don’t know if I am comp…

Me: YOU ARE TOO!! Don’t let her get away with that.

Evildeb: I’m not. Lloyd, go kick her ass!

Lloyd: no way, man.

Evildeb: The Man, go kick her ass!

The Man: No way, not my fight.

Me: he’s afraid of her, you are going to have to do it, Deb.

Evildeb: grrrrr…

Now, in truth, I do not believe it would have been a literal ass kicking. Nor did I really want Tessa to get her ass kicked. That’s why I told her that she had better quit shaking her ass at Deb, that she should just turn around and face her. And keep an eye on her. The two of them were eyeing each other warily, ready to attack, if necessary.

And, with a job well done, I headed home!

Yeah… I’m a little stinker.