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Don’t make me he-bitch man-slap you!

So, yesterday, I was in the lines to load on to the 5pm ferry from Victoria to Vancouver, lane 4 to be specific. Lanes 1-4 were loading onto the Vancouver ferry. Lanes 6-9 were loading on to a different ferry. Lane 5 was empty. Several cars ahead of me, was an empty car. Despite the more the ample warning to return to your vehicle, the occupants had not. We each drove around the car and back into lane 4. Suddenly, dashing through the moving cars of lanes 6-9, across lane 5, and in front of a silver Mercedes, came a little blond kid. The silver Mercedes had to slam on it’s breaks, but didn’t come close to hitting the kid. The father, a large man with a shaved head, followed soon after, yelling at his kids and wife.

Ok, so we are loaded onto the ferry. People are starting to get out of their cars and head upstairs for the fine gourmet type snacks available on ferry boats, when all of the sudden, the large bald man comes barreling up the path. He starts shouting at the occupants of the silver Mercedes, specifically the driver, an older asian gentleman. The asian man kept asking “What are you talking about?” obviously confused. The large bald man had some kind of Eastern European accent, and it was sort of hard to understand him at times. The yelling aspect didn’t help. Something about the Mercedes guy driving fast through a parking lot, almost hitting his kid. And then he, the driver, apparently “got back into his Mercedes” like it didn’t matter. The thing is, we weren’t in a parking lot. We were in the loading lanes. Lanes full of moving traffic. Traffic that had to divert because he could not get back to his car on time. And… the driver of the Merc didn’t “get back into his Mercedes” because he never left it.

The large bald man was using the word “fuck,” and any derivatives of it, a lot. The asian men, in their dockers and button down short sleeved plaid shirts, were starting to become insulted. “Fuck you!” and “No, fuck YOU!” were bandied back and forth, until finally, the large balk man shoves the driver of the Mercedes. And that’s when the fun started. The asian men went on the offense and some general shoving and girly type slapping occurred.

Now, I got out of my car and started yelling “Fight! Fight! Fight!” I was on the side of the Mercedes. The bald guy was beyond reason, and seemed to want to fight. So, I suggested tossing him overboard. “Do you require the assistance of THE TINY FISTS OF DOOM?” But, men from the cars around me started pulling them all apart. Telling the Mercedes driver to just walk away, and a ferry employee had to physically pull the bald guy away from it. And so… the fun ended before any actual blood was shed. Sad.

As a side note, I would just like to point out, both cars were sporting Canadian plates. So… can’t blame any of it on loud, obnoxious, rude Americans. Except for any part I played. Which, was minimal at best. Because what I wrote up there? About me egging them on? Not true. The fight did happen, but I watched it from my car, with an air of bemusement.

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School Supplies

I want someone to give me a list of things I need. Supplies required for me to be successful in the upcoming year. Clear rulers, not wooden. New crayons. Some Dixon Ticondergoa No. 2 Pencils.

Then, I want to go out and purchase my new supplies, organize them, and put them away in a new bag or backpack, ready to meet the year. It would not be enough to simply go buy these things. I need someone to give a list of requirements. I want to need to buy school supplies.

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