Canada, William

I wish I had flashlights in my eyes

Every time I try to write about all the things going on right now, it comes out very flat. I think I am living on the surface of things. I have much to be grateful for, and excited about as well. We found a one bedroom apartment that we’ve rented for 6 months, which will give us time to figure out where we want to live. It’s generic, but they will take our cats, I will have a parking spot, I think I can fit most of my stuff in it, and it’s a block and a a half from Wil’s new job. This is great news. We bought our new apartment a new bed. The most money I’ve ever spent on a piece of furniture. On anything, really, that wasn’t a computer or a car. It’s a glorious bed. I can’t wait to sleep on it. And dress it in luxurious bedding.

But there are so many things going on that are less positive. More stressful. I was in a car accident. Not my fault, and no one was hurt, but my car is the one with the damage, the front end is all smooshed. There is so much work to do around the house, but I’d rather be up north. I’m anxious for the day when I will stay put for an extended period of time. It’s wearing on me. I want a home. I want to stay home. But these are all minor complaints, really. My stepfather is very ill. I mentioned this earlier, but didn’t go into detail. He is very sick, and the prognosis is fairly bleak. And this colors every single moment of every single day. Like looking through grim colored glasses. I can’t bring myself to write what is really happening to him – can’t stand to see it spelled out in fonts.

It’s all a bit too much right now. I might need a bit of a blog break. Or, at the very least, please excuse me if the posts are infrequent, or possibly whiny, in March.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for Spring.

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