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Those poor schmucks… they drive Chevrolets, shop at Wal-Mart, never miss an episode of Friends. These are Americans. The idea of slaughtering Americans… well, it just turns my stomach.

[editor note: for the first time, part of this blog was written offsite, by hand in my journal. giving it a bakery fresh, on the scene, freshness that was previously missing from other blog updates.]
on sunday, i decided to hunt down my missing friend aislann. the last known number i had for her was no longer good. the last time i had heard from her, she’d left me a voice mail telling me that she and her husband had split. the only email address i have really belongs to him. so…. i don’t know if they split for good. probably not. but still. so i decided to go drive by her last known place of residence. aka: her house. but i missed the exit. because i was day dreaming. which meant that soon i was shooting north on i-5. heading for everett.
at that point, why NOT just keep going until you reached marysville. and therefore the new tulalip casino that just opened last week. it costs a bunch of money. millions and millions. and you know what that means? SHINY!! you bet. that’s why i am sitting here, in the parking lot of a walmart, just down the road from the tulalip casino. it was my hope to soak in the ambiance and then sit in the cafe and write about it. but the cafe is not open yet.
it’s a gorgeous place, i’ll tell you what. it looks all vegassy inside. the only thing that’s missing is the sound of coins. all the slot machines are video slots. however, some of them do add the sound of coins when you are entering your credits from your ticket, or “cashing out.” and they even had my very most favorite slot machine, jackpot party!! albeit the video version. i don’t really like the video version. and i’m not just saying that because i was SCREWED multiple times, out of having my jackpot party. slots are evil. every time i play them, which until today, has been in vegas, i’ve because i little less enchanted with them. not quite so drawn by the pretty lights and sounds. i didn’t play too long, but i left down, rather than up. feh. next time i go back, i’m going to play blackjack.
and that is how i ended up here, in the walmart parking lot. am i going in? HELL YEAH i’m going in!! gambling and walmart go hand in hand. don’t you think?
much much later….
walmart is one of the most unpleasant retail environments out there today. now i know why i don’t shop there. it’s only my 2nd time in one. maybe i thought that the experience i had in arizona, at walmart, was unique. and i would go ahead and go in to buy kitty litter and various other little things. it was HELL. that place is horrible. the lighting is horrible, the noise is horrible, the appalling lack of personal space is horrible. the very lack of feng shui. you can almost see energy being sucked out of the top of your head, and swallowed up by giant fan. i bet that’s how they pay their electric bill. they harness the energy… the hopes, dreams, desires of their patrons into some futuristic energy sponge. and that’s how they fuel their empire. and because you don’t even know it’s happening, it’s free. and that’s how come the prices are so low.
give me target any day.

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2 thoughts on “Those poor schmucks… they drive Chevrolets, shop at Wal-Mart, never miss an episode of Friends. These are Americans. The idea of slaughtering Americans… well, it just turns my stomach.

  1. Lisa says:

    When going to Wal-Mart, you must have a plan and a list. It’s like going into a room that has been contaminated with radiation; you can only go in for 30 minutes and if you don’t get out you’re cells start to break down and it’s the hospital for you while you turn into soup.
    Nine out of ten Wal-Marts look like they are trashy and filthy on the day they open. It’s a strange phenomenon. A new Wal-Mart opened near me a year ago and I went during the opening week and the place was already dirty and disheveled. It was a brand new building for Christ’s sake! It looked like a nasty warehouse had been hastily painted and shelves were installed.
    Anyways, my way to survive Wal-Mart is to only buy the five things I know are cheaper there: toilet paper/sanitary girl products, cat litter, dairy foods (they do have a small grocery section), blank CD’s and underpants. If I’m feeling adventurous and the store isn’t crazy crowded, I’ll check out the toys on clearance. Also, they have cheap bedded flowers and plants and when you buy them you don’t usually go into the store as you can pay for them outside.
    Although Jodi went from a shiney new casino to a Wal-Mart so it’s a wonder your head didn’t explode. You really should have hit the decompression chamber before venturing into the land of Kathy Lee Gifford fashions.

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