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Lost your religion? Have some of ours!

Mr. Moon was telling me the story of a 17 year old member of his extended family who is pregnant, and the daughter of a fundamentalist Christian. He feels bad for the girl, and the parents, because they have a tough road ahead of them. So does the baby. Anyway, in the course of our discussion, we’ve decided to create our own religion.

Mr Moon: so far, i’m the only kid in like 4 generations that hasn’t had a kid out of wedlock, so i’ve got that going for me

me: which is good. and only confirms my thoughts on fundamentalist christianity. anytime you make a fundamentally human thing, like love and sex, taboo, and don’t talk about it, and the repercussions and such…

Mr Moon: yes – it confirms my thoughts, too – but i still feel badly.

me: you are asking for trouble.

Mr Moon: absolutely agree with you

me: of course you do, cuz we are the brilliant.

Mr Moon: the brilliant – that should be our new religion

me: EXCELLENT! or at least our band name.

Mr Moon: um…hi, we’re The Brilliant and we were wondering if you’ve let denial and tabooism destroy your life of efficacious communication? if so, can you read our pamphlet?

me: oh, we SO need to make our pamphlet

Mr Moon: i am soooooooooooooo down with it

me: i’m so excited by our pamphlet

Mr Moon: the practitioners could be called “SHURPA”s, ‘cuz the world view would be a combination of Sarcasm, Humanitarianism, Unitarianism, Realism, Pragmatism, Absurdism, and Situationism

me: NICE!!!! this, truly is THE BRILLIANT

Mr Moon: yea, i like that.

Mr Moon: so the pamphlet should have some symbology – i’m not sure why, but humans crave symbology with their religions – so we gotta work on that – something like a Universe collapsing into a singularity and then the singularity exploding into a mass and how can you graphically display consciousness being a fluke?!?

me: ummm… clip art?

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8 thoughts on “Lost your religion? Have some of ours!

  1. Um, Jodi? I am so fucking in awe of you. Your blog makes my blog go sit in the corner and whimper. But you, you inspire me. If I were a guy, I would chase you down and, like, leave baked potatoes on your doorstep.
    F519

  2. perry says:

    So who will be the pope (popette?)
    Fahrenheit, all us boys already leave baked potatoes for Jodi, trouble is they now stretch from Seattle to Victoria.

  3. I think that consciousness was less of a mistake but more of an inevitable conclusion. Kind of like peanut butter and chocolate: Whether it was rollerskating down a hallway or a kitchen accident, that damn peanut butter was going to get in that damn chocolate… or is that chocolate in the peanut butter? Either way, Reese’s Peanut Butter cups should be the communion wafers of The Brilliant.

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