I played Lunchtime Intraoffice Interdepartmental Poker today. I had not been able to play since this summer. The regulars had all received nicknames since I last played. Miss Kitty, Ace Barracuda and Boss. Here’s the thing about my Poker Playing stratagem, you will never figure it out. Never. Because it’s fluid and depends on the phases of the moon, my blood sugar level, what day of the week it is, how much sleep I had the night before, the total number of ounces of Dr Pepper I have consumed, and whether or not I want to make my co-players cry. And whether anyone has brought any candy to the table. My stratagem floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee, baby! Sometimes, I play with my cajones. I’m all up in their faces, betting hundreds with only a 6 high. Distracting everyone with my witty color commentary. Other times, I am cautious and quiet, and I use that time to learn about my opponents. But, most importantly, no matter how many times I watch Celebrity Poker, I cannot recall what one with any skill at all would do. I don’t like to be limited by the advice of experts anyway.

Today, I played with my cajones. Big bets with nothing to back it up, and for the most part, it was working. I did get pocket Ace’s, which I decided to call pocket tee-pee’s. However, I think they are called pocket rockets. At one point, I took all of Miss Kitty’s chips. And I was in the lead major. But I blew it. I lost everything. Boss took all the chips, i don’t know how, I thought I was a shu-in for Big Poker Kahuna today. Oh well, my sparkling poker personality, color commentary, and cajones did earn me my poker nickname. Miss Conduct. Can’t win if you don’t play, baby.