evildeb

I guess Amelia didn’t catch this one.

overheard*: “... and then you can onsie – twosie to your heart’s content.”

Evildeb: I rather like the idea of onsie – twosieying to my heart’s content

Jodi: Depends… what does it mean?

Evildeb: I have no idea.

Jodi: *experiments with a onsie – twosie dance*

Evildeb: is that what it means?

Jodi: No, I was just trying it out. I think I will onsie – twosie myself on out the door to run errands.

Evildeb: Are you going to buy some onsies?

Jodi: Hey… maybe it’s Potty Functions.

Evildeb: in which case everyone should be able to onsie – twosie to their hearts content. Hopefully.

Jodi: I kinda need to onsie right now.

Evildeb: Great… thanks for sharing.

As I was writing this, the monkee started talking babytalk on the phone, and I felt a level of horror that had previously not been felt since I was five years old and my dad took me on the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland. And then, I bomitted.

*for those who don’t know, if it appears in quotes and italics at the top of the post, it’s usually the monkee we are overhearing.

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6 thoughts on “I guess Amelia didn’t catch this one.

  1. Renato Ara?jo says:

    I have as wallpaper on my desktop, two photographs. One is Frank Black, The other is Ray Bradbury. These are two men that have always inspired me. And imagine the luck, Frank Black is giving Ray Bradbury a phone interview. (See: http://www.laalternativepress.com/v04n02/feature/black.php ) I have been looking at this picture for two days, and then it hits me: These guys look like fucking weirdoes.

  2. Liloo says:

    The Monkee, he needs to be captured and released in a safe place some distance from humanity. With a big radio collar around his neck. Not so we can track him, but so he can be avoided.
    Have you thougtht of putting vaseline on his keyboard? Just for the funny?

  3. Onesie-Twosie = Doing something piecemeal instead of all at once. In this case, I bet it means buying a license here, a couple of licenses there, but not anything in great bulk.
    He was trying to con someone into an enterprise license for some piece of software with the agreement that individual products that lie outside the initial agreement can be added on at a discounted price as well when needed. A good idea when dealing with suites of software, but not a good way to describe them unless you like crapping in your diaper and then crying to get it changed while arranging schwag* distribution power-lunches with clients.
    (* Corporate logo’ed items such as pens, frisbies, retractable phone/network cables, Stikfas action figures**, etc…)
    (** No one has actually logo’ed a Stikfas action figure. It would be cool as all hell and a cute play on your company’s “flexibility.” Suggest it to a non-Monkee marketing person and earn yourself some major kudos.)

  4. i still don’t get onesie-twosie? sqaure dancing? i don’t remember that move. and i was taught by professionals who knew what they were doing…high school gym teachers.

  5. Jodi says:

    first, thomas, i had to look up what a stikfas action figure was. and now i agree, it’s a sweet idea. you have been working too much … you are supposed to take time out from your busy schedule to do things like explain to me what a stikfas is. 🙂

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