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I just want to say that being chosen as this month’s Miss August is like a compliment I’ll remember for as long as I can.

There are all different ways people can leave you. Some drift away slowly, you can feel yourself becoming more invisible to them, as whatever allure you used to hold for them fades. Some pass away after long lives lived fully. Some pass away suddenly, leaving great shock waves behind. And some just decide their ride with you ends here, this is where they are getting off and, oh, here is your heart, sorry if it’s a little torn.

This seems to be a prevailing theme of July for me this year, so I am putting you all on notice now, the fun stops Sunday July 31st. That is when the Get Out of Jodi’s Life Scott Free No Questions Asked card is revoked. After that, you try to leave without my say-so, I will hunt you down and pin you against the wall like a butterfly specimen in a bug box, playing Phil Collins music at you, at high volumes, over and over until you are able to see the error of your ways.

Do I make myself clear? Good.

EDITED TO ADD: Ok, perhaps I should point out that I was referring to Phil Collins’ solo work, particularly in the 90’s, which I find to be very grating. But some of you may like his later stuff. So the plan has been revised to use whatever music fits the situation. For example, if you wanted to break me, you’d play the Grateful Dead or Steely Dan at me. So now, the plan is, I will find your musical button, your musical achilles’ heel, and use it against you. If you leave, without my permission, that is. That makes more sense, doesn’t it?

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9 thoughts on “I just want to say that being chosen as this month’s Miss August is like a compliment I’ll remember for as long as I can.

  1. I’m always looking around for new reads, fresh faces and words, but this entry reads like some sort of disclaimer. I must remember to approach this site with caution.
    Thanks for the Postal Service version of Against All Odds. Certainly didn’t make my top ten favorite song list, but a refreshing change.

  2. Let me check my calendar …… Nope, nothing stating “Leave Jodi while sneaking away in the middle of the night”. I think I will stick around, get comfy so to speak. This corner over here is nice. Repainted the walls and everything.

  3. Marie says:

    That would be The Pretenders, for me (although Phil Collins would also do the trick, except for I Can’t Dance, I do love that song) – now you know, but, I know that you’ll never have to use it against me. =)

  4. I suddenly have this image of Jodi chasing people waving around a country music CD screaming “Come back…we haven’t heard Achy Breaky Heart yet!!!”

  5. Well let’s see, if you wanted to break my heart you could figure out my favortire Counting Crows song and point out how all the lyrics fit so perfectly.
    But there’ll be no need for that. I hate goodbyes too, slow and silent or fast and brutal they all suck. I won’t be waving from the train any time soon.

  6. Sometimes… ok, all the time… I feel like my entire life is leaving without my consent and I’m running alongside of it looking back at the things I love now and wondering if the big train will get back this way again.
    Is it possible to break one’s own heart.

  7. Jodi says:

    dan, if i were to utilize achy brachy heart, i would want to use video, to fully capture the mullet experience. what is his name… billy ray cyrus! yes, visuals would be key there. people would give in to me in a heartbeat!!
    thomas, i do believe it is possible to break one’s own heart. which is a shame, because if there is anyone you should expect to be true to your heart, it’s yourself.

  8. i don’t know that music could be used against me…i take that back. music i hate could be used against me by making me writh in agony. my poor ears would bleed from rap and country.
    but i ain’t going anywhere.

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