Someone is parked in my reserved parking spot. This is a huge pet peeve for me. Nothing will send me into a white hot rage quicker than someone parking in my parking spot. I’m a very competitive parker. And by “white hot rage” I mean I said something like “OOOoooo! I’m so pissed! I am SO VERY ANGRY.” There is a note on their windshield, I’ll tell you what. So today’s theme is justice. Because when I took the garbage out a few minutes ago THEY WERE STILL PARKED THERE!

If There Was Justice In The World

“It’s so small. Look at it.”

“I know, I think it will fit in the recycle bin, do you want a hand lifting it?”

“It’s so tiny…. it was my car and now it’s so tiny.”

“Well, next time DON’T PARK IN JODI’S PARKING SPOT!”

Today’s 50 Word fiction theme is division. Maybe because I just watched the Wedding Crashers, again, the other day. Also based on a conversation Wil and I had about divorce.

Long Division



They were attempting to be civil. 50/50 down the line; they’d both contributed to the household. Nobody could really quantify.

“In adherence to the spirit of the agreement, air miles will be split in half. Next… the cats.”

“I want the front halves!”

“Great, stuck with the butts. Again”

The garbage men were sarcastic and rude to me today. And I was left with no sassy comeback, after a frustrating hour in traffic. Nothing is more frustrating than a missed opportunity of sassiness. So the theme is rudeness.

Also, I would just like to thank Jack for playing along with me each and every week. Even if I forget for a while, next time I play FiWoFic, Jack is there to play along. Thanks, Jack!

What The Encounter With The Garbage Men Would Have Been Like if I Were My WoW Character.

“You know, just a reminder, there ARE two entrances to this building,” said the burly sanitation engineer. His obviously pea-brained buddy laughed.

Her tiger took care of the sidekick, while she aimed her bow at the first.

“You know, just a reminder, nobody likes a smart aleck.”

THWING! FWUMP!

This weeks theme came from a cheesy song I heard in the grocery store. Something about being more than a broken heart. It stuck in my head. So if you want to play, that’s your challenge.

Alone

“Are you going to tell him?”

“He’s gone.”

“You know, if this isn’t good news, there are options we can discuss.”

Instantly protective, I placed a hand over my stomach and shook my head. Smiled just a little.I guess I’m more than a broken heart now.

I don’t know why the theme is hitchiking. Probably because I could not sleep last night, and for some reason “Every Day is a Winding Road” by Sheryl Crow kept going through my head. And not in a good way.

Use What You’ve Got, Kid

She stared at him from across the highway. Heading east, cars whipped past him, ignoring his request for a ride. As the truck approached, heading west, she stuck out a leg and hiked her skirt. He gaped as it pulled off the road.

“Hey kid, even monkeys have opposable thumbs.”

I guess it’s pretty understandable that theme would be moving. I will say this, if you put everything in storage, you don’t have to go through the chaos of unpacking. Anyhoo, it’s back. 50 word fictions. Play along, won’t you?

After the Move



She sat next to the newly opened box and looked inside – box of pencils, beanie babies, 6th grade year book, her collection of shot glasses – they weren’t in here. The words had to be here somewhere, she knew she’d packed them. And, after all, she only needed 50.

A couple of weeks ago, I took one of those “you are so smart, you know our products so well” tests. However, I was not smart enough to sign up for the right version. Color me surprised when I failed! Der. Whata dope. Anyway, I am re-taking it today. Or just taking it. Since this time, I plan on taking the correct version. So the them this week is “ace.”

Watch for Falling Ice

She raised a hand to block out harsh winter sun. Turning her head, she saw the days work, the hunting and gathering, spilled out on the ground, plastic bag still grasped in her hand. Large shoes appeared before her. Shoes planted firmly on the icy sidewalk.

“Way to go, Ace.”

This afternoon, I am taking another one of those industry tests that says “Yay – you sure do seem to know a lot about our software, you go girl!” I don’t know if that’s true, but despite the fact this is not one of the products I support, I am fairly confident I will pass the test, as I have been taking practice tests. I just don’t believe this is the best way to measure someone’s expertise in a product. Anyway, today’s theme is tests.

Not My Home for the Holidays

Nieces and nephews buzzed passed him, knocking the packages from his arms. Before he could orient himself, he was gathered in the arms of a thousand relatives, compressed into a form 27% smaller than his norm.

Some call it a holiday, but he knew what it really was – a test.

Hey kids, I’m off today. And I’m waiting for the Moons to arrive, so I can take them up to Victoria with me, to meet Wil. They will be the first people I’ve ever introduced to Wil, since we are usually together up in Victoria. Nowhere near my friends or family. So, this week’s theme is introductions. It is also inspired by a crabby man on one of the tour busses in New York who used every single cliche known to man to describe the traffic.

Shake Hands



“Hi… hi… I thought it would be nice to finally introduce myself.”

“Oh… hi… it’s nice to meet you, I’m the left hand.”

“Yeah, you too. Look, I am the right hand, and the truth is, the rumors are true, I have no idea what you are doing.”

Dark black inky darkness. Like my heart. Hee! That’s our theme this week. We get our hour back this weekend, and the evenings grow darker. I love it. It’s my favorite weekend of the year. [I get an extra hour in Victoria.] I’ve been waiting for my hour back since last April. I really think, considering how long I loaned it out, I should get interest, don’t you? Like an extra hour and a half maybe? Come on!

Crayon Noir

The kindergarten teacher wrung her hands in concern. The school counsellor looked worried. The principal shook his head in confusion, picking up the drawing in one hand, a black crayon worn down to a nub in the other.

“Well, I guess she’s got a bit of a dark side.”