Hey kids… we continue our sin theme with sloth. My favorite. I’ll be away all day, so I look forward to your stories when I return. Please…. write me stories, I’ll need something happy by the time I get home.

Orientation

She met with Satan first.

“I’m going to be honest with you, I’m not sure you have what it takes to make it down here. Sloth? That’s it?”

She shrugged listlessly. “One time I ate three boxes of girl scout cookies in an afternoon.”

“Gluttony! Now we’re talking!”

Continuing our seven week theme of sin, today’s theme is envy.

Pru-envy



Look her, lying there. warm under the blanket. I hope she understand what it is I go through, just to afford her this lifestyle. The long hours, the mind numbing job … she spends her days relaxing and admiring her good looks.

What I wouldn’t give to be my cat.

So, this is how I found this week’s theme.

Me: Lloyd, what should tomorrow’s theme be?

Lloyd: Sloth.

Me: Sloth? My favorite sin? You think so?

Lloyd: www.notproud.com

Me: What is this?

Lloyd: confessions of sin. I spend a lot of time browsing there. Mostly on Lust.

Me: Why;…. we could have a Seven Weeks of Sin theme!

And there you have it. Over the next seven weeks, we shall explore the seven deadly sins. Sassy! Despite what it says above, we are starting with Pride. I’m going to write mine in the morning because I don’t have my glasses on right now. I have no idea if I am typing the words that are coming out of my head. It’s all one big blur.

EDITED TO ADD:

The Collector

I lined each one up carefully, equal distances from each other. Inspected each for dust or scratches. I suppose some may consider it foolish, the pride I have in my collection, but I have a real sense of accomplishment. It’s good to have tiny achievable goals – quicker pay offs.

This week’s theme is a no brainer really, it’s birthdays. I mean, duh. Just another way to prolong the celebration. I’m going to need some more birthday pie, I think.

Not in My House

I’ve never seen such destruction and chaos. The screams, the tears, the sounds of breaking glass, the sugar high, though it would never end. As god is my witness, I will never throw another birthday party for 10 six year olds again. Next year, it’s Chuck E. Cheese.

I was chatting with Christine today, explaining how my worst nightmare happened on Friday. No, not the showing up naked to a final exam late, and finding a spider on my seat. The one where you accidentally include someone in an email they should NOT receive. And you find yourself stuck in the middle of a conversation that should take place between two other people. Not to mention the fact that you now feel bad for anything and everything you said. Christine said, “That’s a place you find yourself a lot, isn’t it? The middle?”
“Yup. Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right. Hmmmm…. I wonder if anyone has done a cover of that song?”
Yes, they have. I found several, but two I could not resist. But first, the original.
Stuck in the MIddle with You – Steelers Wheel

I am not familiar with Dale Ann Bradley, but she is a bluegrass/amaericana artist, and she released an album this year called “Old Southern Porches.” Which happens to feature a very happy cover of “Stuck in the Middle with You.” This version will be particularly enjoyable to Christine, who loves country, and Lloyd, who loves the banjo.
Stuck in the Middle with You – Dale Ann Bradley

I was all set to just go with that cover, when I found this one, done by Juice Newton. William loves the Juice. So I couldn’t resist including it for him.
Stuck in the Middle with You – Juice Newton

Today’s theme is weddings. Maybe we’ve done weddings as a theme before, I can’t remember. But since my cousin Kirsten is getting married today, it’s going to be weddings again! Ok, you can do weddings, or Yom Kippur. It’s your choice.

Pileup in Taffeta

It was a massive collision. Bodies were tangled together and the cries of the hurt and humiliated were heard by all. She stopped and looked at the chaos, a pile of fallen maids.

“Ok, maybe I could have picked a more sensible shoe for the bridesmaids.” She whispered to her father.

Sorry for the delay in getting the 50 word fiction up, I was struggling for an idea. This week’s theme is validation.

Parking Ticket

Mouth open, he stood outside her door, while his date threw his coat at him. His shoes hit him squarely on the chest, one after the other. The offending ticket still clutched in his palm, he wondered what the big deal was. All he asked was if she validated parking.

Whoooo-hoo! Today marks sixth months of 50 Word Fictions! Was it good for you? Because it was great for me. Congratulations everyone who has been playing along. As an extra special Six Month Anniversary, today is actually 100 Word Fiction Friday!! That’s right, today only you get double the pleasure, double the fun, double the words. Don’t say I never gave you anything.

This week’s theme is “repairs.”

Fixer Upper

“I didn’t mean to..” he said.

“Yeah, so you’ve said. You never mean to.” she said.

“I don’t know why you keep giving it to me.”

“I don’t have much choice, it’s where it wants to go.”

It was looking a little worse for wear, bumped and bruised. She examined it throughly, held up to the light, read the small print… sure enough, she was screwed. There was no warranty on her heart. She put on a brave face.

“Well, a little duct tape will fix that right up.”

“I promise to be more careful.”

Hey, this week’s theme is Autumn. But get this, I was busy cleaning, and didn’t even think about my story. CLEANING. If that’s not an omen of bad things to come, I don’t know what is. And now I am sleepy. So you all start without me, ok?

The Order of Things



“Autumn…. People like me better, you know.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“They write songs about me.”

“Oh yeah? That’s nice”

“I’m very popular, I’m thinking of getting my own gig somewhere, just leave the three of you behind.”

“Hey… Summer… no matter what… I will follow you. Always.”

Hi! Welcome to Week 24. I hope you are excited because we are two weeks away from the big WEEK 26 HALF YEAR CELEBRATION!! Whoooo! Didn’t know we where having one, did you? I’m still searching for the perfect theme. If you have ideas, email me. Next week, Week 25, we will celebrating the autumn equinox with a … wait for it… Autumn theme, not unlike our Summer theme last June.

This week, our theme is Wishing, to complement last week’s Waiting theme. Because someone is under the impression that Jack Johnson is secretly in love with her and writes all his songs for her. Except Banana Pancakes, which he obvious wrote for me. Now me… I’m under the impression that E is writing all his music about me. Have I not mentioned the Eels lately? I’ve been remiss. They are still awesome, and my little fiction was writing while listening to them.

You Wish Upon Stars

She wishes upon the moon. She likes the in your face proximity. The moon wouldn’t be able to tell you sweet lies, or false promises. It isn’t all flash and sparkle. The moon has an honest face, and even if it can’t deliver, it’s happy to listen.