Today is my little brother’s birthday. Twenty -six years ago my father called me up to tell me I had a little brother. And I said “oh man… really? a boy?” I was really hoping for a little sister. I already had a brother, and it wasn’t working out like it did on the television. I thought maybe a little sister might be more fun. As it turns out, a younger sibling who starts kindergarten the day you start college is going to be kind of annoying no matter what their gender, with an age difference that great. Besides, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was about to be the middle child in this particular branch of my family, with a precious cute little baby sibling, and an older brother who, ummm… commanded a lot of attention. At least I had Only Daughter going for me, right?

But the annoying baby brother grew up. And sure, he’s a bit weird. He’s a vegan who drives a truck that runs on french fry grease and he sews patches on his clothes with dental floss. He can’t machine wash all his clothes because they would fall apart. But he grew up to be a good man. He’s recently started culinary school in Berkeley, learning to make food from sticks and leaves and other non-animal products. I’m pretty proud of him, even though I know that means he’ll never make me a pot roast.

Happy Birthday JJ!!

luv, yur seester.

Today is Hug a Writer day. I kid you not.

It’s a beautiful day, blue sky … no rain, and I’m going to do yard work. No, seriously, I am. I don’t do yard work. I quit doing it when I moved out of my parents house and they no longer gave me chores. I’m not sure they gave me much yard work to do after we left Grand Junction anyway, and that was in the 7th grade. I do remember having to do some weeding the same day we were filling up the pool for the season one year. We had a kidney shaped pool, which was the greatest thing EVER. Toads would sometimes jump in the pool, but couldn’t get back out. If we didn’t catch them, they drowned. That was sad. Anyway I wasn’t able to jump in the currently frigid pool until I finished the weeding. It was torture. I’m not sure it made me move faster so much as whine more. That’s the last yard work I remember. Most of my chores were indoor. At some point, an allergist pointed out to my mother how severe my allergy to grass was, and suggested I never mow a lawn. I never have. I send that allergist Christmas cards*.

But there are branches to be picked up, my front and back yards are carpeted with them. Not to mention the roof. Don’t worry, my mom, who is the sweetest most wonderful most special and definitely the prettiest mother on the face of this earth, is coming over to help me. She’s been on the roof before, when she lived in this house, and as long as someone holds the ladder for her, she’s cool with the roof.

A collective sigh of relief can be heard from those who have seen me walk.

*not really, I don’t manage to get xmas cards out to anyone, I’m so bad. I certainly enjoy receiving them. Every year I say this is the year, I’m going to send Christmas Cards. Ha!

I think I have found my new profession, kids. I have lunch with people. That’s what I do. I lunch. I had lunch with my stepfather, on my way down from Canada yesterday. I had lunch with mom today. I am having lunch with some ex-coworkers on Thursday. Lunching is what I do.

My car was searched on my way into the states Monday. First time searched. I think of it more as a mini search. They didn’t pull me to the side for a full search, but the extremely nosey border guard went thru my back seat and trunk, opened up my suitcase. But the worst part is, he scared me into lying. No one has actually asked me what I do for a living since I quit my job, which is odd because border guards both ways love that question “who do you work for?” But this guy was so weird and so freaking suspicious that I panicked and said I was a freelance technical writer. Of course, lying to a government official freaked me out even more. I don’t even know why I did it. I could just say I was unemployed. But he acted like I was a surefire candidate for some kind of smuggling. I know it’s their job but every answer I gave to each question he returned with a look of “oh really?”

What I need is a good answer that is also honest. Any suggestions? Anyone willing to pay me a dollar for something I write so I can say I’m a writer? Stephen King says that’s all I need to say it.

Teyanna – my new level 12 Drenai Shaman

Teagen – my new level 7 Night Elf Rogue

Damn you World of Warcraft Burning Crusade Expansion Pack!

“Oh ye of little faith”

“What? What are you talking about, I’m full of faith. I’ve got faith up to my freakin’ eyeballs.”

“Are you sure that’s faith you are full of?”

“Well, it sure as hell ain’t grace.”

“I think you are very graceful… as long as you are not walking.”

“Precisely.”

A week or so ago, I fell down some stairs on my way down to pay the pizza man, in my socky feat. It was only a couple of stairs, as the stairs stop after about 3 and then turn to the right. Had I lost complete control, I would have just hit the wall, not fallen all the way down the stairs or anything. Instead I just bruised my butt. Hence my understandable concern about the branches on my roof, which have been there since the big storm. Now that the snow has finally gone, I’m “hoping” for a nice day sometime next week, so I can clean up the branches still in the driveway. But … the ones on the roof… I’m not so sure about. Most people agree that it would be a BAD IDEA for me to get up on the roof.

I think I would be ok once I got up on the roof. But transferring myself from the ladder to the roof, or worse, back onto a rickety ladder… those are the moments that I’d probably topple. So the real question is… those branches aren’t hurting anything are they?

my garbage and recycle cans, outside, are full to the point of overflowing. Garbage pickup isn’t until Thursday. So… that means I can stop cleaning, right?

10. Frequent Sailing Punch Cards – every 10th sail free.

9. Chair Massages

8. A Barnes and Noble onboard.

7. Blinds or shades for my car windows, so I can nap in peace.

6. Porpoises frolicking in the wake.

5. A car wash

4. Ummmm… pedicures!

3. Dr Pepper

2. And I cannot stress this one enough… wireless internet access.

And the number one thing that would make my Frequent Ferry Rides More Enjoyable?

1. kittens. duh.

Get Dressed Before Noon.

It helps. Last night I had dinner and drinks with some work friends, and they asked me what I was doing with my time. Truth was, it was only my 2nd day back from Canada, so I had not had too much time to do anything. However, my answer sets a precedent I am trying to avoid.

“Well, yesterday I took two naps and had a facial.”

I love you guys! No, seriously, I do!

I’m leaving way early for Canada this morning, I’m catching a 9 am ferry, and I’m leaving some buffer room for the border, as I really don’t know how busy it will be. So it will be still be dark when i leave…. I might even run into Santa. I’ll say hey for you if I do.

Happy Holidays!