Hey kids, I’m out of the town for a few days. Truth is, I’m stuck in Canada. Literally. My drivers license and birth certificate were stolen and I cannot get back into the States. Would I lie to you? I might exaggerate, but I would not lie. I’ve gotten more blog fodder out of this weekend than I have in the past 3 months. Honestly, I’m not too concerned about the whole stolen ID thing. I’ve been having too much fun.

I’ll write more later. it’s late and I am staring out the window of my ridiculously expensive, but thoroughly delightful, hotel window at a view of the harbor and city lights. We sailed over from Victoria to Vancouver today, so I could try to go to the consulate tomorrow and see what can be done about convincing them I am an American.

Otherwise, I guess I’ll just have to convert, eh?

I know most of you are terribly fond of the razor necklace, but I have to say, I get a lot of comments on it when I wear it. Oh sure, some of them are are inquiries about my possible coke habit, but some people really like it. It’s been described as rad, cool, interesting, fierce, odd, strange and great. And some people can’t seem to find the appropriate words to describe it. It’s a conversation starter, if nothing else.

The other day, they were grilling cheeseburgers for lunch, upstairs at the cafe in my POE. You paid for it inside, as per usual, and then went outside to have your burger grilled right there in front of you. The chef said to me, “that’s an…. interesting necklace.” I assured her that I was neither a cutter nor a coke addict, and discussed my necklace’s obvious merits with other co-workers in line.

Someone joined us in line, and asked how this whole bbq thing worked, did they pay first or get the burger first and the chef clarified the procedure.

Me: of course, you could just SAY you paid for your burger and get a free lunch

Chef: now come on! you’d do that?

Me: Heck yeah I would … look at me! I’m a bad ass! I’m wearing a razor blade around my neck, for pete’s sake.

That’s me. B-A-D ass.

The internet is a magical place, kids. In the previous Then and Now, I mentioned that I could not find any information about the Now’s artist’s solo work. And the next day I received an email from Stephanie Casey, along with a nice clean version of the song. As opposed to a version clipped from a podcast. Magic!!

So, now I would like to mention that I am having a hard time finding any information about the million dollars that belongs to me. I know it’s out there, but I just can’t locate it.

I'm going through a blue period. An extended period of troubling ennui. It happens, I'm only human. Part of it is causal. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction – simple physics. Part of it is probably the season. Maybe I have some kind of bizzaro-S.A.D. Summer just saps my strength.
It's ok, I'll snap out of it. I always do. I just have to wait it out until something excites me again, and the glass starts to look half full rather than half empty. Couldn't appreciate my inner sunshine if it didn't occasionally go away, right? So I apologize, in advance, in the quality of blog posts. In the mean time, I'll continue to brood my way out of it, and listen to Neko Case.
Neko Case – Outro With Bees

One time, I had tickets to an INXS concert, with my friends, and I came down with strep throat. I was sick as a dog, fever and everything, and didn’t want to go. My friends thought I was crazy, Michael Hutchins was worth the pain, they said. I didn’t go, and they talked up the concert in front of me constantly. It was, it seemed, orgasmic to watch Michael on stage. Years later, when I did see them, I have to say I was disappointed. It was a good show and I enjoyed it, but in no way was it a sexual experience. I was expecting something more impossibly visceral, based on the stories I had heard. Maybe Michael just didn’t feel like putting out that night. Nonetheless, I’ve always liked this song.
Need You Tonight – INXS

I often confer with Mr. Moon, on the topic of music. I played this song for him, and asked him if it would make a good Then and Now.

Mr. Moon: Jeezly crow – it’s already like 95 times better than the original.

Me: Really? You like it better.

Mr. Moon: way better, I’m not the hugest INXS fan. The lyrics always rocked in that song but it was too poppy for the content, it needed to be sexier. And not sexier in the auto-erotic asphyxiation masturbatory way, but in the grunge fucking way.

Kazy, while not on iTunes music store, has a very impressive website, and you could purchase the song for a dollar, which I just love. That is why the internet was created, kids. Well, first it was porn, and then it was music.

Need You Tonight – Kazy

Here at my POE, one of the reasons “they” keep us in a pod formation, made up of cubes, is to encourage open dialog and sharing of ideas and technology. I’m going to share with you the open dialog/ technical discussion I had with KK yesterday.

We join the conversation as Jodi is preparing to leave for the day, she is looking at her monitor.

Jodi: Oh bunny cam, as much as I have enjoyed your recent antics, I must leave you for the day. Although you are awfully cute. Look at you investigating your own backside there… probably getting ready to eat your own poop.

KK: Is that what bunnies do?

Jodi: Yes. Bunnies have two kinds of poop. The kind you are used to seeing and a SPECIAL kind they eat. It’s supposed to be good for them, nutrients or something. You rarely see that kind of poop.

KK: So it’s like … cud.

Jodi: Yes, I suppose so. Only… it comes from the butt. It’s butt cud.

KK: Well that’s a pleasant thought.

Jodi: and with that, I leave you!

You know, it’s really hard to have good blog stories if all you do all weekend is try to remain as still as possible, in front of a fan. repeating “why isn’t it autumn, when is it going to be autumn?” over and over. Occasionally getting up to drink orange juice straight from the carton, or nab a popsicle.

Good news is, it’s supposed to cool down this week. Only 88 today, and 76-80 throughout the week. In fact, this weekend, it’s supposed to be 69-70! This is the most exciting thing in my life right now. Which should just show you how dull my life is, currently.

Pru likes it when I hold still, tho. Means she can snuggle next to me, try to sleep on top of my book. The rest of the time she spent sleeping in the bathtub.

But here is a question that is slightly more fun. My mom and I are going to NYC this October. On my birthday. We are going to see The Color Purple. Right now, that’s the only firm plan we have. Although, I’d like to go to MoMA. Any of you travelers, or New Yorkers, out there have suggestions for where to stay?

For … ummm… no particular reason:

What are three adjectives that describe me?

Thanks for your participation.

Heads up, America, Louise now has her green card.

I think we should go out to celebrate. Everyone wears green and we have something traditional like Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie and Chevrolets. Except, get rid of the baseball, it’s boring, have steak instead of hot dogs, keep the apple pie [I mean… duh] and I drive a Nissan.