I want to go on a vacation. Somewhere I’ve never been before. Somewhere that isn’t just visiting friends, or Las Vegas. Those are my two default types of vacations.

Where should I go?

I live in fear that someone in my family is going to try to get me on TLC’s What Not to Wear. I actually like the show, I enjoy Stacy and Clinton, and think they know what they are talking about, when it comes to making people look good. It would probably be pretty cool to get $5,000 to spend in NYC, and their advice to go along with it. That being said, I would never, in a million years, give them all of my clothes to mock and then throw away. As is the custom on that show. I’m sure I could be schooled in which paints would make my ass look smaller, my legs longer, and my IQ higher. But it’s not worth it to me. I’m not going to give up my beloved graphic tees. And I am not going to wear a shoe with a “little bit of a heel” to “elongate the leg.” It’s not going to happen. It would be handy to know how to dress my age on certain occasions, but it’s not worth giving up my personal identity to do it.

Seriously, I worry about this. I know my family would love to make me over. I know it. They’d love to see me in something besides jeans and sneakers. You can tell by the way they freak out with excitement when they see me in something other than jeans and sneakers. Unless it’s pajama pants. I don’t think they are impressed by my pajama pants. But the fact is, I’m a casual girl. It probably costs me, first impressionwise. But you know what happens when you try to be something you are not, and give in to the pressure of making a good girly first impression? Blisters! On the bottoms of your baby tender feet. That’s what.

I’m not sure if TLC’s What Not to Wear have ever encountered someone who refused their offer of $$$ in exchange for all their clothes, but I would refuse. Graciously. I would explain to Stacy and Clinton that I admire them, and respect their clothing advice, and would love to get their opinion on how to dress on the rare occasions I want to dress like an adult, it would be SOOPER cool to know how to do that, but then I would turn them down. I mean, if you were me, would you give up this shirt?

You would not. If you were me. Besides, I’m not completely stupid. I don’t wear pleated pants or anything.

Also… I don’t like to shop. For clothes. Books, dvds, cd’s… computer stuff… hell yeah. But not clothes.

Shoes don’t count as clothes in the above scenario, fyi. Shoes are different.

Note: Dear Family and Friends, this is, in no way, a reverse psychology plea for you to set me up with What Not to Wear. I would, in fact, be most displeased to find myself in that situation, especially with the secret filming and all. If you want to get me on a TLC show, please get me on Miami Ink. That really is much more my style.

Yesterday, cubeplex neighbor KK and I were chatting about something, I don’t know what, but I am sure it was totally work related, and the conversation turned to dogs. I am a cat person. But I do like dogs. Just more on an individual basis. Whereas I pretty much love all cats. KK is a former owner of greyhounds.

Jodi: i like lazy dogs.

KK: me too

Jodi: lazy dogs who like to nap.

KK: lazy dumb dogs are the best

Jodi: dogs who are practially cats.

KK: greyhounds! they really are cat-dogs

Jodi: i’ve heard they are pretty laid back.

KK: yes they are…they have about 10 min. of crazy energy a day and you don’t have to do anything to get them to use it up. stand in a field/yard and they run circles till they’re tired. just perfect. and it’s realy hard to know what they’re thinking (like cats) they are pretty aloof and aren’t sloppy lickers or mega tail waggers. a perfectly happy greyhound will stand in front of you and stare.

Jodi: LOVELY!

KK: yeah, I miss them 🙂 truly are cat-dogs.

Jodi: pru would not like it.

KK: she’d be jelous I’m sure

Jodi: would it do ok with a cat?

KK: depends on the dog. I had a cat living with my 2 for awhile. Once they were introduced and they learned the cat was off limits, I didn’t have a problem

Jodi: maybe some day I could adopt one. when i have a house. and I can build a dog run.

KK: houses make it easier for sure

Jodi: either adopt a greyhound, or a chinese baby girl. one of the two.

Jodi: i would name my chinese baby girl after my bunny. i’d name her Phoebe.

KK: that’s a nice name

Jodi: works well for rabbits, as well as daughters.

KK: so versatile!

Jodi: but, once again, better to wait until i have a house.

KK: yeah, I was just going to say that

Jodi: i’d need to build a chinese baby girl run.

KK: you know, once you get a house you could probably get BOTH

Jodi: could they share the same run, do you think? or would i need a dog run AND chinese baby girl run?

KK: probably, the dog could help keep her warm at night too so you wouldn’t have to havea heat lamp

Jodi: i’d probably let her in at night. let her sleep in the laundry room. the dog that is.

Jodi: the chinese baby girl would have her own room. sheesh. what are you thinking?

KK: I was being practical and consolidating on space and resources. Coming up with ways for things to mulit-functional. What else would I be thinking ?

Jodi:true. you are right.

KK: you haveto think this way when you are providing for others

KK: gotta be practical

KK: and stuff

Jodi: hmmm… i am learning a lot from you. thank you for your generosity.

KK: sure, anytime. I’m full of it

Jodi: i’ll say

I’ve spent a few hours geeking out today, doing top secret things to my blog. For one, I’ve set up a new Feedburner feed, in order to better track my stats. I have attempted to set up a redirect in an .htaccess file, so that anyone who subscribes to my feed will be redirected, but I don’t know if that’s working. I hope so, because otherwise the stats are pretty useless.

Additionally, I have set up hot link protection so the little creeps at myspace.com can no longer hot link to my images and use them in their profiles. It drives me NUTS. If you have any issues seeing images that I’ve posted, please let me know. If you want to hot link something, just ask me. I have no problem with people I know hot linking. I just have to add you to the acceptable list.

In fact, here is a test image of me, and my favorite drug of choice.

A while back, I went on a hunt for some really good vodka with KK. It’s a vodka that is special ordered for a bar somewhere on capital hill. Only one, ok two, liquor stores in the state of WA carry it. Since the liquor stores are run by the state, they can tell you things like this. It’s called Bison Grass. I’d provide the link for you, but I’ve just had a very strong cocktail using my Bison Grass vodka. Oh dear, I just gave away the ending. We found the vodka. Well, we put ourselves down on the waiting list, and then they called us, and then we found the vodka. It has a slight cinnamon taste to it. Makes a good White Russian. I, however, make an accidentally strong White Russian.

Oh well, I guess it’s not that good of a story. I only had one cocktail. Who knew it would be so much stronger than the ones in the bars. I don’t drink very often. What’s more, I’m lying on my bed typing sidewise, which shouldn’t even be attempted under the most sober of circumstances.

I had a fight with a friend. I don’t even know if we’ll be friends anymore. This has nothing to do with the cockytail. It’s just an aside, because it’s very sad. I’m a little worried about it. And Pru is trying to sleep on the keyboard.

Have ya’ll seen that show on TLC called Miami Ink? I kinda like it. Tattoos are cool.

‘night!

We all know, by now, that I am domestically challenged. I hate cleaning, but I love cleaning products. I am always sure that this next cleaning product or tool will be the one that makes every come together for me. My house will stay relatively clean, I will become more organized, Pru will learn to scoop her own litterbox, squirrels will frolic on my weedless lawn, and cute boys will trip over themselves to bring me cold, fruity umbrella drinks while I recline on a spotless chez lounge with a book and some bon-bons. What exactly are bon-bons by the way?

This is my latest want: The Hoover Floormate Spin Scrub 800. I took one look at it, and I knew that it was the implement of cleaning that would change everything in my life. For $300. The only problem is, I already have a $550 Dyson DC14 Animal Vacuum cleaner. For $550, you would expect some general overall improvement in my life. But the fact of the matter is, if I don’t a: pick up the crap on the floor and b: turn the vacuum on and run it over the carpet, it does very little. Except look nice, and purple, and powerful. So how can a $300 Hoover even hope to help me?

In the end, I settled for this:

Kaboom Bowl Blaster Foaming Toilet Cleaner. Because I like cleaning products that mention EXPLOSIONS. And this one has both a KABOOM and a BLAST.

Can’t live with e’m… Can’t have ’em working for you.

No, not you guys, you don’t have the stupid. It’s those other guys.

So my jeans are feeling a bit saggy. I can pull them off without unzipping them. I’m inordinately proud of this fact. It’s a wonder I don’t go around showing everyone. I just tried on a pair of jeans that is a size smaller than what I normally wear, I keep ’em around for just this type of experiment. They fit. So I did a cheat weigh in. Supposed to only weigh yourself once a week. My day is Saturday.

Here is the thing, in Weight Watchers, the first goal they have you set is to lose 10% of your total body weight. Well, I surpassed it. And then some. I’ve lost a total of 21.8 lbs in about six weeks. According to WW, I am losing weight too quickly. More than 2lbs a week. But what’s a girl to do? I’m even cheating! Yesterday, I was a very naughty girl! I’m definitely not eating too little. Trust me. I snack all day long at work. And I did not drink all my waters yesterday. Or today.

I’m not going to stress about it, because I am sure I will plateau any minute now. And then i will be all sad, and remember the days when I was just showering the weight off. Besides, it’s hard to be too upset about being successful on a diet, you know what I mean?

Good afternoon, my internet monkeys, I send you banana flavored kisses.
I’ve had a headache for a couple of days, my brain is going “poundy poundy” which may be why I found this so delightful.

Now, I am not one to promote violence… no, not me. And, the lady in red may be the nicest sweetest, most wonderfulest woman in the world. But she had the air of the busy body to me, and, in my over-inflated opinion, she’d probably been asking for a punch for a long time. Never assume your thoughts on a matter are going to be welcomed.
I’m going to design a Sports Racer logo for Ze Frank’s The Show, so I can join the League of Awesomeness and get a Sports Racer name. Don’t know what I am talking about? Go watch it, it’s part of my morning routine. My favorite part. Even over brushing my teeth.

Do you want to know what it is? Do you do you do you? I think you should guess, and I will tell you tomorrow. It’s a very pretty name. And it appears in a very old song. Maybe that is how I will reveal it, I’ll post the song. It’s a pretty great song.

Ok, wait… I’ll give you a hint. It starts with “L.” And if you guess the song, and therefore the name, you win! You win the knowledge that you are the coolest.