I’m working from home today, as you can see, because I have a cold, but a long long list of things I am behind on. I’m enjoying the peace and quiet and heating vent right by where my feet rest, under the desk.

Last night, I was thinking about Christmas. How hectic it can be. How easily people lose their tempers and become intolerant to the fact that they exist in a world full of other people. It happens to me too. Especially in parking garages. But, I’m try to be patient and keep a sense of humor. Because the alternative is a lot of energy used in negative ways.

So, in an attempt to keep, and spread, the holiday spirit, I will post some of my favorite non-traditional Holiday songs, over the next few weeks, for everyone to enjoy. Today I give you “Merry Christmas From the Family” by Jill Sobule, one of your more realistic xmas songs.

Well, when we last left me, I was cuffed and in the back of the state patrolman’s car. Right now, I am sitting in the DOL. For the second time today. They are calling numbers in the 90’s, soon to be 100’s, and in the 500’s. I am 373. I don’t know where I fit in. Oh, wait, they just called 359. There is hope. Ok, back to the story.

So, the officer searched my car and searched my bag, and called a tow truck to impound my car. No, he did not give me the option of calling anyone to pick me and the car up. He left me in the back seat. The back seat is actually hard plastic. I guess so they can hose it down after hauling the bleeding or vomiting. Or leakers of other bodily fluids. Too bad I didn’t barf. I was getting more annoyed simply because it was taking so long, and he was been a bit excessive, in my opinion. Because of him, I was going to have to call my mom and ask her to bail me out of jail. She wasn’t going to like that, it was going to upset her. This man was upsetting my mother! On thanksgiving no less.

I’d say about 25 to 30 minutes into the wait for the tow truck, he decided that he would not take me into the station and book me. He said he was going to take me to a gas station, and I could wait inside for someone to pick me up. Good news, especially since he was sparing my mommy the pain of my incarceration. But, he still didn’t uncuff me. He didn’t do that until we let me out in front of the gas station. 45 minutes after he first cuffed me.

I have to wonder if he was trying to scare me straight. Do you think so? Most people, in similar situations report they were not cuffed. My cousin was given a ride home by the cop! Not everyone has their car impounded either. Maybe he was angry because he had to work on Thanksgiving? I don’t know. He was pleasant enough, considering. He suggested to me that I would be more comfortable if I turned sideways, in the back seat.

On Friday, Mr. and Mrs Moon helped me get my car out of the impound lot. $197. But the courthouse was closed. On Monday, Mrs. Moon came up here and took me to the courthouse. $279. But then we found out the DOL was closed on Mondays. This morning, I decide to take the law into my own hands, and I drove down here when they first opened at 8:30. Only to be told that I had another ticket unpaid. One for overdue tabs. That happened during my incredible weeks of suck, in the later half of July. Not surprised I forgot that one. So I drove back to the courthouse I visited yesterday, wondering why they didn’t tell me about this yesterday. Only to find out it had to be sent to collections and I had to go there to pay it off and get the paperwork. $371. At the collections office, she told me I do not need to go back to the courthouse. She better not have lied to me. Because here I sit, in the DOL, waiting my turn while one and only one man handles numbers in the 300’s.

And there you go, another day of work missed, it’s already afternoon as I write this. Bothersome and annoying, but nothing more than blog fodder. I drove the speed limit all day and you know that’s gotta hurt. There was no way I was going to make someone else cart me around today. I’m trying to take care of this. I’ve had enough of their shananigans. Sure, I was wrong, but now I am trying to do the right thing.

I’m going to go to the Apple store after this. Buy myself a new Mighty Mouse or something. My optical mouse at home is dying. It’s driving me nuts. A bunch of people in the 300’s have given up. We are now at 365.

And now, thanks to Lloyd’s suggestion, I am going to leave you with an audio treat. Enjoy Was Not Was with “Hello Dad? I’m in Jail”

Well, we are back from Thanksgiving holiday. For the most part. I didn’t actually go to work today. I had a bit of a situation happen over the holiday. Which I will tell you about now.

When Thanksgiving Day started out, I never expected to be sitting in the back of a police car, hands cuffed behind my back. I also never expected to end up helping a woman give birth in the back of a taxi cab, saving a kid from drowning in a pool, or performing an emergency tracheotomy on someone with a ball point pen. Which is good. None of those things happened. Except for the cop car/ handcuff bit. As Dr. Stevil said to me, today via chat, I was cuffed and stuffed. And not in a good way.

Here’s what happened. I was coming down the hill from Snoqualmie Pass, into Issaquah. On the pass, the speed limit is 70, shortly before you round the curve into town, it reduces down to 60. Sometimes, I forget, and until I see Issaquah, I speed along. Thanksgiving night was one of those nights. But I slowed down before the curve, I swear. That’s why, I was confused when the Wa State Patrolman pulled me over. Did I know how fast I was driving… no it was more like 76… license and registration please… blah blah blah. You know how it works. He brought back the license and had me sign it, and I thought that would be it. But he asked me to step out of the vehicle.

Do you guys remember, back in September, when I got a speeding ticket for going 27 mph in a school zone? Well, I didn’t. In fact, I forgot to pay the ticket. It was only two months ago, but they suspended my license. So I was told by the WSP man, who had led me out to the back of my car. I thought he was going to show me something was wrong with my car. Or maybe even see if I was drunk. But no.

Cop: Did you know your license was suspended? Due to delinquent speeding ticket?

Jodi: Uh… no. What speeding ticket?

Cop: I don’t know which one. But it’s suspended, and I’m going to have to arrest you.

Jodi: What? Seriously?

Cop: Yes, please place your hands behind your back.

Jodi: No… really… seriously?

And he was. He put me in the back of his cop care, with my hands cuffed behind my back. He brought my purse and searched my purse. Then he searched my car.

Cop: You have a lot of stuff in your car.

Jodi: Yeah… I do.

Cop: Why is that?

Jodi: Why what?

Cop: Why do you have so much stuff in your car?

Jodi: Well…. because.

What a stupid question. If you are wondering how I am taking this whole thing, at this point, the hand cuffs, the searching, the imminent arrest, the answer is… fine. I was annoyed, mostly. A little bemused because he had to list the contents of my car on a form. Mostly, I was sorry I was going to have to call my mom out of bed to bail me out of jail. Actually, I never thought I would go to jail. Even if arrested. It simply did not occur to me to be worried.

to be continued…..

and I do. Actually, ze frank does. Please please please go watch this. I’m trying to be more responsible in what I discuss here.

Oh, fuck vitamins and exercise…. give me RITALIN!

Mr. Moon has a new job. Starting next week, he will no longer be working downtown. He won’t be working in Seattle at all. Therefore, we will not be able to have lunch. Today was our last lunch. We went to Gameworks, because after you eat, they give you 30 minutes of free game play. Plus they have a really good chicken sandwich. Mr. Moon likes to do the drum game, I like to play the downhill skiing game. But the best game is Ghost Squad. I like any game that has guns. I also like playing cooperatively with someone. Especially ex-Marine video game aficionados like Mr. Moon. Also, I like to yell insults and threats to my video targets. It’s a good thing Gameworks is loud. Today, I must have been channeling Cartman, because my favorite threat was “I’m going to shoot you in the NUTS! Go on… SHOW ME YOUR NUTS!”

Yelling is just fun.

I’m really bad at video games.

I am annoyed. The stupid windows laptop I brought home from work will not connect to my wireless network. I’ve tried. I can’t get it to work. Therefore it is both annoying and retarded. I am not retarded, the laptop is. It can just fuck right the hell off!! All I wanted to do was play a little online poker with William, obviously I would be doing the winning. That’s all I wanted. But most, ie: 99% of online poker sites are not mac compatible. Including the one he plays on. Therefore, they are also annoying and retarded. Not William, the online poker sites. The fact that they are not mac compatible makes them retarded and elitist and fucked up and I hate them.

I felt the need to express my anger. I would strongly suggest that no one leave a comment telling me to get a pc so I can play poker. I am not the one who needs to change in this world. It’s them. They know who they are. Fuckers.

Yesterday morning, when I started my car, the radio came on in the middle of a commercial about a magical place. A place so wonderful it had unicorns and rainbows and marzipan forests or some such craziness. it was way over the top, I thought it was either a commercial about a christmas store, or car insurance. But no, this magical place? Canada! It’s true! it’s for a website called comeseecanadanow.com.

I told some friends about this commercial, and, honestly, most people did not believe me. They said, “you are just looking for an excuse to visit Canada!”

But I told them I don’t need an excuse to visit Canada, I have tons of ’em and I can visit any old time I want. Besides, as an American who lives only a couple of hours from the border, I have the default, built in excuse… Tylenol 3. Not that I would bring that back. I’m more apt to bring back smarties. They are such pretty colors.

But then, I heard the commercial again today. And I learned that, in addition to unicorns, there are faeries and gingerbread houses and a sea of gumdrops and marzipan! And all you have to do to get there is ride the Rainbow of Happiness! This is fabulous! I’m so excited.

However, I want to know… where are said unicorns? I have been to Vancouver several times. I’ve seen not a one. Tell me, Canadian friends… where do you keep the unicorns? Perhaps in the mystical and far away Nova Scotia? I think my friend Elle would tell me if she had unicorns in Nunavut. She’d at least send a picture.

Louise says that she saw this poem on her bus this morning.

I am just waiting to find out if someone freaks out about it, because it’s a poem about ASS. Albeit a cute one.

Speaking of ass, I’m in meetings all day.

So I don’t have to think too much. At least not before noon.




You Are Changing Leaves



Pretty, but soon dead.


What Part of Fall Are You?

You Are 40% Weird



Normal enough to know that you’re weird…

But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

At first I got 20%, but I wasn’t completely honest, and my cousin Kirsten doubted the accuracy of the test, since she scored 30%, so I retook it.

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural



You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.

That’s because you’re a natural at seduction. You don’t realize your power!

The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You’re the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.

Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.

You find joy in everything – so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.

Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.

As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You’re an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything.

You tend to set blogging trends, and you’re the most likely to write your own meme or survey.

You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you – not what anyone else has to say.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?


Well, I’d change the color, except, as we know from above, I am soon to be dead. At least I’m pretty.